- Never lose count
*3. Hi Opal!
*Delayed Entry
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Never operate ANY cooking appliance while drunk. The burn on my arm from last wednesday says so!
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Never say anthing to anyone about anyone else. (My #1 rule! Learned it the hard way!)
- Never do anything while drunk which is preceded by the words, “Hey, watch this!”
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Never let Tir go without food at a DopeFest - she’ll bite your neck.
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Never travel back to Birmingham from London on the train after having been drinking, without lots and lots of water.
46: Never teach your kids how to use the computer.
- Never wonder how the DVD player works. Don’t unscrew it, just leave it alone. Yes, even if it’s working.
- Never butter bread BEFORE you toast it.
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Never go see a film just because Sean Connery’s in it.
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Never rub your eyes whilst slicing onions or chili peppers.
- Never question the sanity of your computer manager.
- Never fry bacon and/or eggs in the nude.
53 If you foolishly choose to ignore rule 52, never turn the eggs over by flipping them in the air pancake-style. (This was learned the hard way).
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Never believe that the cute bar hostess is really interested in you when drinking in a place that charges by the hour and encourages you to buy drinks for the hostesses. (although I know some who’ve had different experiences than I’ve had)
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Never take your doctor’s word for it when he says nothing’s wrong, if his initial comment was “wow! I’ve never seen one like that before!”
I speak from personal experience on both of these.
- Never forget rule 1.
(Its a Pratchett reference. Virtual cookies for whoever gets it.)
- Never dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.
Thief of Time. Hee hee.
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Never perm your own hair.
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Never walk on a soggy lawn in high heels.
(And if you recognize that reference, just keep it to yourself, 'kay?)
- Never take all the advice in a rules for living thread. [sub]Go on, live a little . . . . [/sub]
- Never drop your mobile phone into a hot steaming mug of tea.
- Never not preview :smack:
62. Never spit into the wind.
- Never drink your tea with the spoon still in the mug.
64. Never look at yourself in the mirror after your 7th pint.