Man, this all rings a bell.
I still want to do a good job, because it affects the people I care for (I work with the developmentally disabled). And they are what I care about, quite a bit.
But my co-workers? The “system”? Bah! That was burned out of me a while ago, because the Powers That Be allow so much abhorrent “office politics” and lying gossiping behavior. The morale sucks around this place, and I’m sick of the whole thing.
I used to not use many of my sick days. I’d come in to work when I was feeling “oogie”, and just tough it out. So I have a LOT of sick time piled up. But my attitude about sick time has changed now. No, I don’t abuse my sick time, but when I feel under the weather, I stay home. I don’t “tough it out”. Screw this “tough it out” bullshit, and “No other Gods before the job” bullshit. There’s more to my life than dragging myself into work, even when I am feeling like shit.
And another thing I have been realizing about myself—I just don’t care about some things. Oh sure, I care about the people under my care. But that’s because they deserve my concern. But the petty bullshit of coworkers? Unless it’s something REALLY big, nope, I just don’t care.
I realized this just last week, when a coworker (someone I generally like, actually) left a somewhat passive-aggressive “note” about something I wasn’t doing just right. Nothing earth-shattering, but something that was bugging her. And, sure, she had a point. But she couldn’t just come up to me and tell me in kind tones that I could do this little thing better, she left a note, and phrased more harshly that was necessary to get the point across. Because, you know, God Forbid she just take a minute to tell me what was on her mind, sans the snarkiness.
And for a moment I was rather upset and offended by this note. My feathers were ruffled. And then it dawned on me—this feeling of hurt and offense just wasn’t going to last. Because I just didn’t care. And it was true. Within a few hours, the “sting” of this rather stupid and harsh note had completely faded, and I didn’t even think about it at all. Because it just wasn’t worth the effort of getting offended. It was just about work, after all. Nothing really important.