Well, that was an odd phone call

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

Some thoughts:

  1. My Dad used to own a book called “The Compleat [sic] Practical Joker”, which claimed, quite rightly so, IMO, that there really is no legitimate excuse for dialing a wrong number, and people who do so can be dealt with in any way you see fit.

For a caller asking for a woman, they recommended:

Caller: Is Sheila there?

You: I’m sorry, Sheila’s upstairs with a customer right now, can she call you back later?

The book came out several years before the film “Ruthless People”, in which Danny DeVito answered a similar wrong number with “I’m sorry, Sheila’s got my dick in her mouth right now, can she call you back?”

Lacks the subtlety of the original, IYAM.

  1. When I first moved to California, I house-sat for a month for my aunt, who lives in a seaside vacation area. Every single day and night, we got wrong calls, each one a different voice asking for a different name.

At first I assumed Californians just couldn’t dial.

Then I realized that, because my aunt’s number had a simple repetitive pattern for its last four digits, that young bar-hoppers were picking her number at random and giving it to rejected suitors.

  1. About a year later, I temped in an office in South Central LA, near UC. My job had me on my feet a lot, but whenever I wasn’t, I kept getting strange calls asking if this was the “pro office”. After half an afternoon of this I realized this was Ebonics for “Parole Office”.

Such calls, including the previously mentioned collect calls from correctional facilities, made up about 3/4ths of the phone traffic to my line. Realizing that people’s freedom could depend on these calls, I called the cops to try and get the correct number to these folks, but they wouldn’t give it to me.

I went back to assuming that Californians, particularly the criminals, simply can’t dial.

  1. My sister, an actress, came out to LA a few years before I moved here, and got housing through a network that puts you, when you come into town for a show, in the home of another actor who’s currently out of town.

My sister ended up in the home of an actress, then working out of the country, who was the best friend of Billy Bob Thornton’s then-wife (Not A. Jolie, this was shortly after “Sling Blade” became a hit, and shortly before he got a divorce).

Anytime she was home, she spent the bilk of her time relaying messages to the actress from BBT’s wife, desperately seeking cousel and sympathy for the way he was constantly beating and threatening her.

I haven’t exactly been a fan of his since then.

  1. On a lighter note, and a slight hijack. A number of years ago, my family hit financial trouble, and were constantly fielding calls from debt collectors. My other sister, in a voice sounding so official I can’t help but think the instructions were occasionally followed, left this message on our home machine:

“You have reached -*. If you would like us to give you money… please hang up…now. I you would like to give us money…please leave your number…and we’ll be sure to call you back.”

Didn’t solve our financial problems, but at least we got to hear the collectors trying to leave a professional sounding message while ready to pop a vein in anger.

102

I get wrong numbers all the time. The most recent wasn’t really that odd…

“hi, is stacy there?”

“I think you have the wrong number”

“oh, [says number]”

“mine’s slightly different, you must have misdialed”

“Oh, ok, sorry aboout that”

“no problem” <click>
The next most recent was slightly odd…

“Good morning, Eurocars”

“Er, I think you have the wrong number”

“Is this [number]?”

"Yes, But I wouldn’t have a reason to be called by ‘eurocars’ "

“There is an order for a 106”

“Not by me”

“Ok, sorry about that”

103

I once had a phone message from the gas company, about account 12345. I called their automated system and got a notice that the account was past due in the amount of (whatever it was). Figuring this was for our babysitter, and knowing her finances were tight, I figured I’d help her avoid a cutoff. So I used the automated system to pay her bill.

Then I realized I’d better speak to a human to make sure this was correct. :smack:.

Sure enough, I’d just paid a total stranger’s gas bill. :smack: :smack: :smack:. This person had, for some reason, entered our phone number as her home number. We’d never heard of this person, and when they checked her address, it was far enough away from us that it couldn’t have been a simple digit transposition.

Oh well - we helped a stranger avoid a gas cutoff, and once I got my bank statement, I was able to get the gas company to sort things out.

Papa Zappa’s company has a toll-free phone number that was one digit off from that of a purveyor of, ahem, adult toys. They got many confused phone calls.

Then there was the time Rush Limbaugh Himself read their phone number on the air, as the contact for some sort of fundraiser. They fielded hundreds of phone calls from very confused would-be donors. I think they should have taken credit card numbers, myself :smiley:

104

My freshman year in college, I got my first telephone in my own name. Somehow or another, the number got crosswired to a pay phone in a laundromat on the corner.
There was a guy running a book on that payphone. I took his action for about a week before I got tired of it and complained and got the wiring mixup fixed.

Always wondered if I caused the guy to get his kneecaps busted because he wouldn’t pay off on the bets I took.

105

One evening I answered the phone and there was a woman speaking Chinese on the other end. Since my wife is Chinese, I assumed it was one of her sisters, aunts or some other female relative. After handing her the phone, she listened for about 10 seconds and hung up. Turns out it was the regional telecommunications carrier trying to get her to switch our long distance service.

My wife took an American first name and my surname when we got married, so if you saw her name on paper, you would never in a million years guess she was Chinese, but somehow the phone company figured it out.

Talk about aggressive marketing…

106

I had the following conversation years ago:

Me: Hello MelCthefirst speaking

Caller: Hello MelCthefirst how are you?

Me: who is this?

Caller: you know

Me: no I don’t

Caller: yes, you do

Me: Is it Tom? (sounded like him)

Caller: yes, what’s up?

Me: Well (will cut short, but basically a long winded version of my week thus far, probably took about 10 minutes)

Caller: …what’s down?

Me: what do you mean, “what’s down?”

Caller: have you got your knickers down?

Me: (hangs up rather rapidly - realising that I had just had my first dirty phone caller - at least I’d had a good try at boring him without realising it. It was really my only dirty phone call - SO’s early attempts not included)

107

Spitting
Coffee
On
Keyboard
:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

108

For a while, I kept receiving calls for the same number in a similar area code, which led me to a voicemail message that says something like: “You’ve reached (gardentraveler’s number) in Columbus, Ohio, please leave a message.”

Latest odd call was yesterday, pretty early in the morning, before I was fully awake:
Me: Hello?
Caller: Fred?
Me: (:confused: since I’ve never been mistaken for a guy before) Noooo…I think you have the wrong number.
Caller: Is this the Wentz residence?
Me: (Even more :confused:, since this sounds a lot like my last name, but REALLY, no one named Fred lives here…) Nooooooo…
Caller: Sorry, I must have the wrong number.
Me: Duh! (OK, so I only thought that and IRL mumbled something polite, hung up, and went out to get coffee.)

109

Can I just say I’m enjoying this thread almost more for seeing all the Family-of-Doper-names ?
I want to start a band just to name it “DeHusband, Mrs. Shibb and the Shibblets”

(has there been a thread somewhere already on this?)

110

No!

Oops, too late. You’ve already gone and said it.

My wife, Mrs. MountainDulcimer, wonders why all the names match up. Doesn’t anyone keep their maiden fictional names anymore? Although my kids, John and Jane MountainDulcimer-ChordedZither, think it’s perfectly understandable

111

When I was a teenager I worked at a McDonald’s. There was a payphone in the breakroom for employees to use. One time a few of us were back there watching telenovelas when the phone rang. This not being an uncommon occurance, I answered, thinking it would probably be someone’s car ride or whatever.

Me: Hello?

Old Woman: Happy Birthday Denise! It’s Grandma!

Me: (I should mention that there is no possible way I could have been mistaken for a little girl. Lt. Worf, maybe.) Sorry, you have the wrong number.

Old Woman: Is Denise there?

Me: No, this is a payphone at a McDonalds.

Old Woman: What? It sounds like a party. (True enough I suppose.) Is Denise there?

Me: No, I told you, this is a McDonalds. You’ve called the breakroom.

Old Woman: Oh, OK. Bye.
She called back a minute later and we had the exact same conversation, except with me sounding irritated and other people in the room laughing their asses off.

112

Back in college we had a serial crank caller called the “Whispering Woman”. She would call students in the wee hours of the morning pretending to be someone they knew and try to engage them in conversation. She was famously skilled at getting people to divulge personal information, thinking she was a friend in trouble. Because our campus phone system didn’t have caller id they could never catch her, but you could tell from the ring the calls were coming from off-campus. This has apprently been going on for at least eight years. Some people suspected that the “Whispering Woman” duty is a passed down from a graduating senior to a younger student.

113

My parents have to do that a lot back home after bad weather, their home phone number is quite similar to the Housing Executive number for the area . A lot of people just go straight into complaints about their roofs coming off or water rushing in before my Mum can say “sorry, wrong number” and put them in the right direction.

114

Nice to know it happens to others.

In a weird follow-up to that phone call:

It turns out that I did know the caller!

Her name is Jen rather than Jill, I figure being in a noisy bar combined with her accent is what stopped me from recognising her voice/name (that & us not having slept together).

She was ringing another Vagus & dialled the wrong one :wally

115

Thanks for having that page. I just bookmarked it. Whoooo!

116

I had a similar situation, but it was my home number that was one digit off. Oddly enough, it was my mother’s doctor. The weirdest however, was when I got a call from the doctor’s wife…

me: hello?
Doctor’s wife: Can I speak to Dr. _____?
me: I’m sorry, you have the wrong number, it’s…
DW: What? I do NOT have the wrong f—ing number! I know where my husband works! Who are YOU, anyway?!?
me: Lady, you misdialed. You called my house.
DW: You shameless little slut! You f—ing bitch! When I find out who you are and how long he’s been cheating on me with you I’m gonna…
me: click

Man, do I feel sorry for that poor guy. And for the nurses in his office!

117

There were two girls who would always give my number out at parties. I’ve never met them to tell them how much I appreciate them sending their rejects over my way.:

Susan: yeah?

The Saddest Loser in the World (TSLitW): Hi, is this Cindy?

Susan: no

TSLitW: Jean?

Susan: no, there is nobobdy of either name living here.

TSLitW: but they gave me this number at a party.

Susan: sorry dude, that’s rough.

TSLitW: Yeah. I really thought we had a connection.

Susan: which one?

TSLitW: I don’t know. Maybe you would like-

Susan (creeped out): -I have a boyfriend, dude.

TSLitW: But are you happy with him?

Susan (feeling both sympathy for and rage at Cindy and/or Jean): Yes, very happy.

TSLitW: But when you guys break up…

Susan (locking doors and windows): It sounds like you really hit it off with Cindy. You should call the guy that threw the party to see if he knows her real number. I’m sure she just transposed two digits. It happens to me all the time. Happy hunting!

hangs up phone, takes hour-long shower

118

Gotta get into MPSIMS more often . . . missed this thread until now.

A few years ago, I got a call at my desk at work . . .

“Hi, this is Rabbi So-and-so, returning your call.”

Now, as it happens, I know Rabbi So-and-so – he taught the introduction to Judaism course that was my first step in the process of converting to Judaism. But I hadn’t called him. Hadn’t had any contact with him, nor any occasion for it, in the five or so years between the course and the call. I told him that I didn’t recall having called him, but that I did know who he was and explained how. He remembered me and we chatted for a while, discussing my conversion, wedding, the birth of our first two kids, etc. Then he mentioned that he was running for an elective office and asked whether I lived in his district, or whether I knew anyone that did. I didn’t, on either count (or so I thought). We said goodbye and hung up. I said out loud, in more or less the words of the thread title, “well, that was an odd phone call”. The guy in the next cube over from me, a good friend of mine, asked what was up. I described the call. Turns out he was the one who had called Rabbi So-and-so – he lived in the district the guy was running in, had called him to ask for some info on his positions, and had only left his number and not his name. His work number and mine were different by only one digit, so either in transcribing or dialing the rabbi had ended up with my number instead of his. Still one of the odder coincidences I’ve been involved in.

119

My extension number at work is 9913, the IT helpdesk is 9931 - you can imagine the number of desparate calls I get! They launch into a great explanation about what is going wrong with their computers, with me saying “whooah, wait, hang on…”
I really could create havoc in this organisation, if I only knew how…

120

“Well…sir…the only way for me to tell you…what’s wrong with your computer…is for you to pick up the mouse in the palm of your left hand…that’s right…hold it high above your head…uh-huh…and stand on one foot. Yes, yes, I know. It’s an electromagnetic thing -you wouldn’t understand. Just hang up the phone, & stand that way for a few minutes. That’s right…we’ll get right back to you, but don’t set the mouse down 'til then. Thanks. Call you in two shakes.”

Fun at work. :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: