Well, I’m no good at thinking like an advertiser, I know that’s for sure.
One worry is, I actually want to charge $8 per page. (My math makes that equivalent to $20/hr, assuming an hour to look over a five page paper and an hour to talk about it.) But that sounds high even though I don’t think it is. ($20/hr looks to be about average for tutoring.) So I just put “reasonable rates.” But is that going to scare people off?
I agree that it should have a different title - there is no need for the ambiguous polish/Polish. Also, the style seems a bit choppy. As you are proposing to improve upon somebody’s writing, yours should be perfect. In my opinion the ad would be fine if it were for tutoring, but the writing style seems a bit unprofessional for an editor.
That’s funny: I had a style more in keeping with what you’re saying, but someone told me I should make it read more like a flier advertising me as a tutor.
I think I will go back to the other style, though, or at least move more in that direction.
In a way, it’s not that important: whatever my writing style, the point is, I’m (one of) the guy(s) who actually does the grading. I’m the stylemaker! But of course I don’t expect everyone to think of it that way.
The ad look great. The rates reasonable. (and if someone feels that they’re too high, you must decide; is my time worth less than $20, based on my skills? If not, be willing to lose that type of customer gladly. (w/ no hard feelings) If most customers feel this way, maybe this isn’t a viable business model, or al the least a modest one at best. But… I say stick to those rates)
A question arises however…
What happens if you later find yourself grading the paper of one of your “customers”?
Put your rates in the ad. By omitting them, all you’re doing is losing business from people who will assume that they’re higher than they are. You may also want to list them as flat rate for different size papers instead of per page, e.g.
$25 for three page paper and 1-hour consultation
$40 for five page paper and 1-hour consultation
$80 for ten page paper and 1-hour consultation
Also, your use of asterisks is both confusing and annoying.
The layout of the page is a bit odd. I don’t like the one sentence-paragraphs. It’s not what people usually read, and it makes it harder to read (funnily enough: my previous post suffers from the same condition). Frankly, i wouldn’t get past 2 sentences.
At the very beginning you should put your rates and your most important qualifications and your very specific location(s) (i.e. office and/or apartment). These three things are the most important data that people are looking for. If they’re already looking at your page, then presumably they already are looking for essay reviewers, and don’t really need your explanation why they need your services. I’m not saying don’t include that info, but that should come afterwards.
This phrase: “It should be right there in front of you, just a little bit next to the mouse. There it is!” seems a tad bit condescending. It might put off a couple of people. It might not either, but it doesn’t really seem to add anything, so i’d remove it.
Also consider posting your university email address. It’d lend a bit of professionalism to your services. Do consider that you might get spam email to that address though. You may want to obfuscate it (e.g. frylock [at] university [dot] edu), but that can all be slightly annoying to others.
Just a thought. A direct phone number might also be nice.
I’m having a bit of trouble making my prose in the ad really “flow.” Writing tiny bits on the internet is quite different than writing pages of philosophical material.
But I’ve completely rewritten the ad now. (The new version is now the one linked to in the OP, I think.)
About asterisks: You’ll notice there are none in the new version. But still, I thought asterisks are the standard way of showing emphasis when no italics or bolding are available? I know about fake underlining too but I’ve never actually seen it used in recent times.
So, I’ve been doing this under the assumption that this is not the kind of thing people go looking for. I’ve just been hoping that someone would stumble across it on Craigslist or something. (I’m also working on fliers to put up around campus.)
But… do they? Go looking for this kind of thing, I mean? That would make my job much easier…
I don’t really know. But I figure on craigslist most people are looking for very specific things. There could be some browsing, but i don’t really know.
Well, they don’t offer the consultation, and they seem very impersonal. Some people like the interaction and are willing to pay for it. Don’t lose hope.
I don’t think your ad would work for my students. If a student really wanted to be able to write a better paper, they only need ask the teacher (me) for help. That is what we are there for and I cannot think of a single teacher at our college who would not take the time to help a student who was serious about improving their writing skills.
So perhaps I don’t understand the market you are targeting.
That said, your prices don’t seem outrageous - but again, I am not quite sure who will be paying you for your skills.
People might come to someone like me for a reason similar to that on the basis of which they might see a math tutor. Sure they’ve got a math teacher, but maybe s/he’s not a good teacher, or maybe they feel they need extra help they don’t expect their teacher to have the time or inclination to give. So they hire a tutor.
You know, I think you might want to say a little more about yourself and why you’re qualified – all you really put down is your university and that you grade alot (which, as you just said in your last post, doesn’t necessarily mean you’d be a good tutor). You might want to mention some of the following: your department, years as a TA (and the fact that you teach as well as grade), subjects/levels, experience with one-on-one tutoring, awards, etc. If you have a department webpage, with a CV and list of courses taught, perhaps have it ready to send out to people who inquire (I’d say post the url but I’d be wary of putting up to much personal info).
But of course I don’t expect everyone to think of it that way.