Well when a man and a woman love each other very much they get a stork and......

Oh - and I don’t recall our kids asking detailed questions. Dweezil glanced through the book. Moon Unit was fascinated and kept it on her bookshelf and demanded to have it read to her frequently.

Dweezil was the one who, at age 6, asked “what’s an adult toystore” when we drove past a large sign for that. While I don’t believe in bullshitting kids, or lying to them… yeah, I lied like a rug. There was just too much information he lacked, and I wasn’t looking forward to spending the next 2.5 hours trying to give him all that kind of background info. So, in case the question ever crops up: an adult toystore is a place that sells “toys” for grownups - things like TVs, VCRs and video games.

Moon Unit, on the other hand… at age 4-something, she had been in the family room watching TV. She came upstairs and announced “the baby comes out of the mommy’s tummy!” as she passed on the way upstairs to her bedroom. We said “yes, that’s true”… then thought we might want to see what she’d had on the TV.

She was watching a C-section on a medical channel! Oddly, she never had any questions about it (and she’s the sort who would ask anything!).

Be careful-- The logical followup is that when the kid wants a video game, he’s going to ask you to go to that store to see if they have it. I did something similar as a kid: Saw a store (with blacked-out windows and a neon sign) that advertised “popular magazines”, and figured, hey, Nintendo Power is pretty popular, they probably have that.

Much safer would have been a simple, dismissive “oh, you wouldn’t be interested in any of that”, and if that wasn’t enough, then “I’ll explain when you’re older”.

Good point! Fortunately in our case, this was in a town 130 miles from home, where he’d never be out on his own anyway, and there are no such stores on any routes we traveled near home… but I could see that backfiring.

I suppose we could have tried saying it was “boring grownup stuff” or some such.

I do know that, about 6 years later, when we were driving up US 15 north of Harrisburg - and it seemed there were Gentlemen’s Clubs and Adult Toy Stores every other block (what’s with THAT???), he didn’t ask.

I had the “talk” a number of time with my kids at different ages, not always successfully There is nothing wrong with open and honest but very young kids do not have the background to really understand about babies and sex. At 2 they get “babies come out of mommy” but I think they imagine something like Alien, or maybe like openning a Christmas present. At 10 my son could understand the mechanics of sex (insert tab P into slot V - sperm and eggs mix - baby grows in mom) but he was completely baffled by the idea of WHY someone would want to do something like that - ewww. I had to remind myself that young kids don’t have a sex drive, so the whole falling in love and making babies thing was being viewed through the lens of their own experience with love and friendship.

I have started to deal with this with my daughter. She knows what all her parts are and what they do. She knows that older girls bleed once a month and that mommy (or her teacher) will help her with it (I have talked to the teacher, too). She knows that adults have sex but not really what it is. She knows that masturbation isn’t bad or wrong but should be kept private. She knows she will get boobs (and distinctly does not want them). She’s 8.

All this has really come up by her asking questions and me giving just as much as she wanted to/was ready to know.

For example, at the grocery store I was buying tampons. The conversation went:

Her: What are those?
Me: Tampons. They are for older girls.
Her: What do you use them for?
Me: Well, once a month I bleed and I use this to make sure I don’t make a mess.
Her: From your vagina?
Me: Yes.
Her: That’s gross!
Me: A little but it happens to every girl and you get used to it.
Her: Not to boys, though, right? They don’t have a vagina.
Me: No, they don’t get it.
Her: That’s not fair!
Me: True. But I like being a girl and it’s worth it.
Her: Me, too. I don’t think I will like it though. Can we get cookies?
Me: No. We don’t need cookies. You want to get fruit for a treat instead.
Her: Pineapple?
Me: Sure.

If she thinks something grows inside a tummy, then pops out, she might not want to eat sardines or caviar, although neither is common kid food. Nevertheless, maybe it’s time to differentiate between a stomach and a uterus. Not everything in your belly is a tummy.

We use ‘tummy’ for ‘belly’, as in the whole general area, and ‘stomach’ for ‘stomach’, as in where your food goes when you eat it, so the distinction’s already there. Further differentiation and anatomical specification will get done along the way when she seems remotely interested in it.

What, I have to get the stork? I thought it just showed up! Dammit, one more thing to deal with before the baby comes…

Where does one get a stork, anyway? Do you have to buy one, or can they be rented?

Somehow the Firebug, who turns 5 next month, hasn’t yet asked about where babies come from. I was thinking about that bit of good fortune the other day, along with the reality that I should start thinking about what I’ll say when my luck runs out.

I think I’ll order “Where Do I Come From?” today. I’m thinking that my wife and I get to read it first, then whichever of us gets the question first can read it together with him and answer the additional questions he’s sure to have.

Instead of sex questions, we get questions about death and God and heaven. Which isn’t surprising when you consider that, just during the time he was 3 years old, his Grandpa Ed died, the woman who lived across the street died, a close family friend died, two more distant relatives died, and one dog who lived next door and another that lived across the street, both of whom he saw a lot of, died. (Hell, it made me think about death a lot more than I usually do; I wasn’t exactly surprised that he brought up the topic a lot.)

And perfectparanoia, it’s a shame that your daughter can’t send her boobs to my son whenever they show up. The little cross-dresser would love to have a pair of knockers.

I’ve just been answering my son and daughter’s questions in varying levels of complexity since they started asking. My son, who’s six, got into a lengthy discussion with me on how babies live inside the tummy and how they come out. He then commented that he felt that babies started as eggs. I said that was true, then went into a very simple explanation on the mechanics as to how those eggs grew into a baby.

My daughter, who is two and a half, has been simply pointing out her and her brother’s genitalia since she was 14 months or so but hasn’t yet started asking the hows and the whys. I’m sure that’ll come soon.

That said, I think I might order this book, too. It’s probably a lot more succinct than I am (see my username).

As an aside: it drives me crazy when parents use words like “pee-pee” for penis and “tee-tee” for vagina. I’m sure the kids pronounce shit that way simply because their developing language skills, but adults should pronounce adult words the way they’re supposed to be pronounced, dammit. Hearing baby words for genitalia coming out of an adult mouth makes me cringe.

what a wonderful opportunity to post a funny link to a mother having “The Talk” with her 8 yr old girl

Anyone that feels the need to tell their 2 year old more information than “you came out of mommy’s tummy” needs to think about their parenting skills. There’s no need to go all scientific on a toddler, that’s not going to understand or remember what you tell them.

We told the truth. When DD15 was young, we just didnt go into detail. Basically said something like

mom and dad have sex and sometimes, that can make a baby.

When she asked about sex, we told her she wouldnt understand and that she was too young for the details.

Thank you for your knee-jerk judgement, it has been noted and ignored. Carry on.

You gotta funny way of ignoring posts.

You got a funny way of reading them.

No-one is suggesting the op do what you said. Age appropriate responses when asked =/= a complete factual lecture at age two.

Since your comprehension and summation of the posts in this thread are so inaccurate, your opinion of our parenting skills can safely be ignored.

If you’re happy for your kids to be ignorant, that’s your choice.

My now-7 y.o. has been seeing animals doing the nasty since she was 2 or so (Thanks so much, David Attenborough!) and we’ve never shied away from any facts about reproduction or menstruation (which was couched as “Mommy’s body shedding the lining of the nest if it hasn’t been used this month”).

The hardest one was explaining why Mommy suddenly wasn’t pregnant any more, last year.

My favorite true, not entirely disgusting and age appropriate response to “But how does the Daddy get the sperm inside the Mommy?” (which generally doesn’t come up until more like 6 or 7) is: “They hug and cuddle and get very very close until his penis goes into her vagina and the sperm comes out inside her.”

I mean, it’s a little “ew” and no doubt some kids think he’s urinating, but there’s only so many ways to explain what is, if you’re an alien learning about human behavior, a very strange activity.

MrDibble, I’m so sorry. My best attempt would have been, “Sometimes babies die inside their mommies. Mommy and Daddy are pretty sad about it, so if you see us crying, it’s okay. We’re just sad the baby died. You can be sad if you want, and we can be sad together. But it’s also okay if you’re not sad. We’ll feel better soon, but we’ll never forget the baby that died. Would you like to make Mommy a card and give her a big hug and tell her you love her?”

Depends on how many babies you plan to have, buying may be the better option as you may incur substantial penalties for going over the limits. Check your rental agreement.

Yes, and thus he didn’t attack anyone in the thread.