We're having a baby!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Brendon, hang in there and be strong! As tough as it is, hospital is probably the best place for Dylan right now.

Our daughter Noor is nearly 4 months old, but spent most of the first 3 weeks of her life in hospital as she had a series of apnoeas (stopping breathing) when she was a week old. Turns out she had a brain haemorrhage before she was born, which was irritating her brain, causing seizures and apnoeas! She is on anti-convulsant medication for at least another couple of months (maybe for life), but was subjected to a string of tests, including MRIs and a CT angiogram. She is okay now, with no expected developmental problems (despite the fact that the haematoma is in her left temporal lobe). Obligatory pic!

Trust me when I say you don’t want to go home until the doctors (and you and your wife) are absolutely comfortable that your son won’t stop breathing again unexpectedly.

You might also want to look into getting a breathing monitor for home use. We bought one (babysense brand) which is a real boon, as it means I don’t run into Noor’s room 5 times a night to feel if she’s still breathing.

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Hey, I know what you mean! All three of my babies were huge (9lbs. 1oz. for the first one, 10lbs. 6oz. for the second, 11lbs. 14oz. for the third), but when I held them, they still seemed pretty darned tiny!

Glad to hear he’s doing better, and will continue praying that he can come home soon!

Don’tcha just love when they sleep on you?? I had a thing with mine (I breastfed them all for the first few months), where after their early, early morning feeding (around 4AM or so), I’d always go back to sleep with the baby on my chest, and we both got a little more sleep that way!

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Well, another update. I got to work and called my wife back, she had left the hospital at 9 tonight and he was still doing good. They said it’s mostly a coordination problem, but he has been learning very quickly how to take care of it himself. I’m glad. Every day he seems to do a little better. Of course, it is hard. I’m sure it won’t be once he is well enough to come home, but the days in the hospital are not fun. My wife mentioned that it feels like we’re a family inside the ICU, and we’re two zombies when we aren’t. I think it is the little things that make it great, like the gas-smiles that are timed just right to make us all feel good, or the fact that he does better when we’re around (I don’t know if that is actually true, but it seems his only problems anymore are at night when we aren’t there).

One big thing I have noticed is how people react to you when they know he’s there. Today, my wife was in the lactation room and another woman came in. Her baby was in ICU for something or another (I don’t remember) but she lived outside Columbus. After talking, when my wife was getting ready to leave, the woman said “If you need a place to stay when you are up here, here’s my number” and explained how she had a spare bedroom. I usually don’t expect that out of strangers, and I know that they are both going through something similar, and that my wife would probably not ever do that because she would feel she was imposing on someone, but it made me smile that someone would offer that.

Dottygumdrop - She’s beautiful. I’m glad to hear she’s doing better. I tried to look at the monitor you linked to, thinking I might suggest it, but my internet seemed to dislike me.

norinew - It’s the absolute best part. I always end up being around right after he eats, so he’s getting sleepy, and he just lays there on my chest. I’ve been calling him “polar bear” because he’s so big compared to the other kids in there and always wearing white when I’m holding him. My favorite is when he is sleeping and I’m actually very awake. When I was at the hospital, that was more often, but the last few times I’ve been so exhausted that I get so sleepy when he is sleepy…

Brendon Small

84

Sorry about that Brendon - try this link. It’s a company in North Dakota that sells the babysense monitors. Otherwise this one also sells them in the US.

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Thank you Dottygumdrop. I’ll look into both of those. As of tonight at 12:30 he has had no drops in his stats for a while.

My wife is meeting with the doctor again tomorrow.

Brendon Small

86

Thank you for the updates on your precious little Dylan.

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Wow. Lots going on! I hope you and Mrs. Small are coping well.

Best wishes and good vibes for the smallest Small.

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brendon, we used one of those when Shayla (obligitory pic!) was a newborn. She had issues where she would simply forget to breathe while sleeping, so the Angel Care monitor was quite literally a lifesaver.

To be honest, I have no idea where it is now, as it was buried deep when we moved last year. However, I’ll dedicate my lunch hour today to tracking it down (one of the beauties of telecommuting). If I’m able to find it, it’s yours.

89

Hey Mouse - we’re doing great. I mean, he’s stronger every day. There was a big issue today, we had to get a new doctor (our resident is gone :() and he thought they should hold Dylan until there were none (not until there were only some with feedings, as our other docs have said). Mrs. Small got angry and upset and she said something about him being in there and the doctor asked what the last name was. Apparently, the nurse gave him the wrong baby’s chart, so our baby is actually still good! Of course, you can read this whole thread to your baby right before the due date so it knows whose example not to follow.

Wow Hal, I take back any sheep-natured joke. Hell, I’ll take back the ones about lamb as well. We’ve still been talking about getting one, and we’re picking up a bassinet from my sister tomorrow so he can be right beside the bed instead of across the room, that way he’s close (I don’t know if that actually helps, but Mrs. Small thinks it will make her feel better). I hope you don’t mind, I had to wander through all the pics. Your daughter is beautiful, and she has a good name (I think my wife has the same one…heh).

That is more trouble than you should have to go through though. I do really appreciate it though. You Dopers are so thoughtful, and caring, so much better than the real world, eh? But darn you and your telecommuting. If they could figure out a way for me to, it would be nice. Of course, my lunch hour falls around 2 am, so it’s a little different, but still, I enjoy it.

Well everyone: this is it. 40 hours left in the “no problem zone” before he is coming home. We have a carseat test to pass, and a little bit of driving to do, but I feel like it is taking forever to get through this last part. I got angry today, and fought with my mother. She wasn’t meaning to sound so insensitive, but she admitted afterwards that she knew her idea would not help whatsoever, but suggested it because it was the only thing she could do (which, in all honesty, was throw money at a problem), and she apologized and I apologized. I never realized the stress that parents go through, and I’ve only been a parent for a little more than a week. I know this is just the beginning.

On the gooder news side: some kids came to mow my lawn. They knocked on the door and asked, and said it would be $7. I told them I had no cash, so they offered to float me some credit for a few days. It felt good, and my yard looks 10 times better. My wife is sending in resumes for two more jobs today, both back home close to family, and if that happens she will be driving back and forth until we can find a permanent house, not just an apartment. It feels weird, being kind of grown up. I’m a young’un, only 21, but I just feel like things are getting better every day.

I appreciate all the responses here and could never thank anyone enough for the help offered (doper or otherwise).

Brendon Small

90

So, I spent my lunch hour tearing apart boxes in that one remaining spider-infested corner of our basement…the one where all the remaining items on my “Huh…haven’t seen that since the move” list absolutely must be.

Found my copy of Bluntman & Cronic that I’d been looking for. Found a ton of crap that you’ll be seeing on eBay by tomorrow. But nope, no Angel Care monitor. Damn.

So my wife comes home from work a few minutes ago and I relate the lunch hour quest and it’s sad conclusion.

“The Angel Care monitor?”, she says. “The sensor pad is in the green bin in the closet next to Shayla’s room, and the ‘baby monitor’ parts are where you had them hooked up before we bought the video monitor”.

:smack: Why didn’t I just ask her in the first place?

PM me your address and it’ll be in tomorrow’s mail.

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Hal - don’t worry, I’ve played the exact same game with about everything in my house.

I just got off the phone with the nurse. She said she discussed it with the doctor and he is going to do rounds in the morning. If everything is okay at 8 am, Dylan is perfectly fine to go. Otherwise, he may be there a while, but he’s been doing good for the last 3 days, maybe he can hold on for 1 more (and then forever cause I want him home, but healthy…)

Here’s to crossing my fingers.

Brendon Small

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Hang in there! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the time will go as fast as possible.

(Any chance we could start a thread party to welcome Dylan home?)

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…Thread Party, Eh? Internet, Eh? Maude, Eh?

(different episode, but same great guy)

“Not those peanuts…”

My kind of party, Dopers! hehe

I’m counting down hours…

Brendon Small

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I am glad to hear all of the updates and hope Dylan continues to do all right! I’m sure it is both amazing and intimidating to learn to be a daddy.

My sister was on a breathing monitor for about a year (?) after she was born. She stopped breathing a few times as a newborn and they diagnosed her with apnea. After she got past the first few weeks, she did fine for the most part. This was close to fifteen-twenty years ago, though, so I am sure they have come up with lots of new stuff to help!

Please please please tell us if there is something we can do, if there is something you need. I’m sure we would all be honored to welcome Dylan home in some way!

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Hmm. 8 hours to go. I’m starting to sweat ever so slightly.

That’s not entirely accurate, as it’s 8 hours until they make a decision. I can’t even be in town until at least 12:30 because of class, and it will probably be a little later (1 or 2) when we get there.

Luckily, we’ve stayed away from it being diagnosed as apnea and simply been stubbornness and being uncoordinated (well, not that we stayed away from being diagnosed that way, but that the problem was not so severe, and he could do a lot to fix it on his own). We’re getting nervous, worried he will have some accidental drop in stats at 7am, which wouldn’t make much sense, but we know how luck is sometimes.

Of course, there may be something everyone can do…but driving to Ohio is a lot of work! (I keed, I keed). Really, although it is much appreciated, we don’t need much of anything, I guess the biggest thing is just hope he gets to come home. It’s sad but it really feels weird because they watch him, give him a bottle, and let him sleep - that’s it. No medication, not medical help. We would hate for him to have to just kind of be there for another week or so.

The worst part of this whole thing is it has shown my wife and I how we’re a good bit selfish, and how we take a lot for granted. There are so many babies who are in there who don’t have families around, or won’t be going home for a long time, some never get to. It is a little bit of a wakeup call (If by little bit I mean the whole fly/sledgehammer thing). I just am thankful we are really lucky he’s been mostly healthy and doing good, and what needed to happen for him has. He’s come a long way compared to the other babies in there, making progress while they are kind of just chilling in the O2 tents.

Of course, I would allow any Doper to come in to work for me. I don’t mind, really. I’d kind of be glad to stay home. Of course, I understand that most of you wouldn’t want a job where one watches television all evening and sits at a desk, but such is life.

Brendon Small

96

Umm…welcome to my world?!? :wink: I didn’t realize you were such a “young’un”, ya whippersnapper! You come across as so mature.

My friends’ baby had some breathing issues (went blue while breastfeeding; maybe she got mixed up like you boy did when he ate) and stayed in the ICU for a while after birth too. It’s scary and frustrating as you want to get your baby home! By the time she left she didn’t have to have any machines at home at all.

Here’s to Dylan going home soon!

97

All set, Brendon…the monitor is on its way. I have no idea where the directions are, but it’s all pretty self-explainitory. I’m sure you could find any info you happened to need at the (very annoyingly Flash-filled) Angel Care site.

Good luck!

98

Well guys, this is it. Zero hour. Literally. We’re getting ready to leave for the hospital. Doctors were finishing rounds at noon, so we need to call back and see what the final decision was. I am so nervous.

Thanks a million Hal, it will be much appreciated. Of course, I will have to pay you back somehow…hmm…I work for a hotel, so could I grab you some shoddy towels? (this is a joke! our towels are not shoddy, but I dislike them so would never take them. just for clarification as my boss reads the dope every once in a blue moon)

Also, thanks gigi. I’m sorry I come off as mature. I’ll work on that!

Last I heard (11 am) he was doing fine. Hopefully he’s keeping it up.

Fingers crossed!

Brendon Small

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Fingers crossed for you, Mrs Small and Dylan!

100

Woo Hoo! We are home! They released him around 2:45/3 pm and we drove to Chillicothe to meet Mrs. Small’s mother on her way to work. She really wanted to see him. We got back to my parent’s about an hour ago, then we arrived here at her parent’s. Technically, we aren’t home, but this is damn close. Plus, we’re kind of here for the night because I’m too sleepy to drive. He’s doing great, eating on schedule and sleeping a good bit.

Our pug isn’t sure what to think. I think she’s kind of mad because she is very protective of Mrs. Small, and now there is something that is here she can’t be sniffing and attacking. She’ll get used to it though.

Brendon Small