Think about it. In two years, Saddam Hussein went from Murderous dictator to hapless refugee to… Celebrity Defendant. I guess it will be only a matter of time until he hires Johnnie Cochran and vows to find the “real killers” of all those Iraqis.
Heh.
Johnnie Cochran is dead.
Holy shit! Saddam killed Johnnie?
No, The Bush Administration did in a preemptive move to keep the trial from turning into a circus instead of the bloodbath it’s becoming.
No, you got it all wrong. OJ killed Johnnie, to prevent him from defending Saddam. Saddam was the real killer of OJ’s wife. He never caught up to him since there are no golf courses in Iraq.
Got it now?
You know, in a very real sense, we won already!
Saddam is out of power. elections & a new constitution are in…the only problem is, Georgie won’t quit shooting & LEAVE, ALREADY!! :mad:
I bet he would, if only you could get those other guys to quit shooting first.
Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: (pulling down a diagram of Chewie) this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! (jury looks shocked)
Why would a Wookiee – an eight foot tall Wookiee – want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!
But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with this case? (calmly) Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!
Look at me, I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
Later in that same episode, Cochran has a change of heart and defends Chef when Chef sues the record company. Again, he uses the Chewbacca Defense, although with some minor changes:
Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decided whether to reverse the decision for my client Chef. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen… (pulling down a diagram of Chewbacca) This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment – that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man’s life is on the line? Why? I’ll tell you why: I don’t know.
It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!
So, uh, given Saddam’s been in prison most of that time, who killed all those Iraqis that have died by violence since the US invaded?
Insurgents.
What do I win?
A free trip for two to Baghdad, since it’s so safe and happy now since the US liberated the country. 
Gosh, I didn’t know U.S. troops were insurgents, too.
Goodness me, and there was me thinking it was about the WMDs. :smack: