Were you a Cootie Girl? Did you help to persecute the Cootie Girl?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Kids can be very cruel. When I was in grade school one of the girls was less attractive than most, in a certain way. Apart from her having buck teeth, I’m not sure why she was singled out for persecution. They called her the “Cootie Girl” and everybody was supposed to shun her. It was just like untouchability in India, but unlike the Hindu system I have no idea how to explain it. She must have gone through a painful existence day after day for years and I wonder how she kept her spirits up.

Apparently it wasn’t an isolated phenomenon. When I was 16 I liked a girl at my summer job. I took her out on a date and she told me that back in grade school she had been a “Cootie Girl.” Her front teeth stuck out a little and she had a skinny face and wore glasses. She was still psychologically messed up by the stigma.

Once I found a web site where former Cootie Girls could share their experiences. It would be cool to see their grown-up pictures to show off how many grew up to be HOT and better looking than their persecutors.

Dopers, did you have this at your school? Tell what it was like.

2

I’m pretty sure all the girls, and boys, had cooties in grade school. In fifth grade a fourth grader pantsed me and my dad wanted to kick his butt. (Hijack)We called one of the volunteer mom Playgound Monitors “Motor Mouth.”(/Hijack)

3

We had the whole ‘cootie’ thing in my school, but it wasn’t really a cruelty thing. At my school, we mostly played it like a bizarre, ongoing game of tag. Usually a small group of people would be announced to have cooties, and they’d chase around their accusers at recess, trying to infect them in the same way you’d tag a person. Once you infected someone, you became cootie-free. The only twist was you could become immune to these cooties by getting a cootie shot from an uninfected friend. However, the shot only lasted a day, so sometimes the infected people would tag an unsuspecting person in the coatroom or between classes before they could renew their shot.

If the majority of my class decided to dislike a person, they’d usually just ignore them and comment on the way they smelt. Having cooties would include them in the game, so the unpopular people were usually uninfected, but no one ever tried to tag them, either.

4

I was always nice to the Cootie Girl in elementary school. I was the person who would sit with her at lunch and make my friends sit there as well, so that she wouldn’t be lonely. I was a sensitive kid.

Once middle school hit though, all of that changed. I moved to a large city from a small town, and found out quickly that being nice to the Cootie Girl only caused others to think I was a Cootie Girl too. I broke that off right away.

How sad. It scares the hell out of me to think that there could be something about my daughter (who is now 1), that could some day get her ostracised. If I remember correctly, the only thing really different about these kids is that they were quieter than most, or maybe dressed differently because their parents didn’t have much money. What causes these kids to be singled out and shunned?

5

See, cooties weren’t an issue at my school, because we were all very well-versed in how to give a cootie shot.

6

My mother made it clear that we would be the sorriest children who ever lived if she heard tell of us being cruel to any Cootie Kids. She informed us we would be beaten within an inch of our lives and we had better be MUCH more afraid of her than of what any snotty little brat at school said we had to do.

Scared nice.
At class reunions, Cootie Kids have approached me and said how much they appreciated that I never indulged in their torments—I was a fairly popular kid all through school in our tiny hometown. How to explain that my mother was all-knowing and all-seeing and I WAS much more afraid of her and my dad than I was of any kid. Peer pressure had a very frail hold on me and my siblings, I’ll tell you that! The only Cootie Kid I had trouble NOT joining in the circle of chanting kids was Stinky Mary Helen. I remember seeing their point and pondering joining in the chant but 1) my mother would’ve killed me had she found out 2) my mother WOULD have found out and 3) Mary Helen was my mother’s real name when it wasn’t Mamma. It was not worth the risk even though Stinky Mary Helen was one of the few kids who ever was disrespectful to me in my whole 9 year reign as Princess of Earlimart.

7

We also had the neverending Cooties/Cootie Shot tag game going at my school, but it was a separate cultural phenomenon altogether. The game was understood to be all in fun, while the ostracism of a selected girl was serious and relentless. It was possible to have both at once without any overlap between them.

I went all through grade school not knowing what “cootie” meant, thinking it some made-up word for an imaginary stigma. Only years later I found out it meant louse (from the Malay word kutu). There was never a single lice incident at my school, so the whole thing actually was imaginary.

8

I was. :frowning: I wish it had only gone that far.

Out of curiousity, might I add a survey question? I’ve been curious almost all my life as to exactly why/how you pick one. I mean, I know some of you picked up on who was It sorta like Morgainelf did, but what were the factors that made that person It?

I was small, a year younger than the rest of my class, had an accent, and hadn’t been born there. Apparently jealousy figured in as well - I got helpfully labelled ‘gifted’ early.

9

Replying to the ostracization thing rather than the “you’ve got cooties” thing (which, as with others here, was not an item of seriousness when I was a kid) – I was the ostracized kid when I was young.

10

Bonnie Macneeley was not a cootie girl. She was only treated that way. Her crime was being poorer than everyone else, of coming from a family where the grease never fully washed off the hands and hair of the men, desperation never left the washed out, red lidded eyes of the women, and the children’s clothes never seemed clean, even when they were, because they were so worn from constant wear.

When I was in sixth grade, Bonnie Mcneeley had a crush on me. I’m sure I was teased about it, I’m sure I was colder towards her because of it- it was long time ago…and perhaps mercifully, I don’t remember those details.

What I do remember is that before school let out for Christmas that year, Bonnie Mcneeley walked by my desk and laid a wrapped gift on it. I might have mumbled “thanks” or I might have said nothing. I was mortified.

I opened it when I got home, it was a model car; probably it cost in those days anywhere from 2.50 to 3.00. This was from a girl who brought cold fried meat in plain bread for lunch, when she had lunch, in greasy re-used paper bags that were a constant source of amusement on the school bus. Because she did not have the 20 or 30 cents for a school lunch.

I’m pretty sure I never said a real thank you. I know I never took the cellophane off the box, and somewhere along the line the gift was either discarded or given away.

And sometime, years later, apparently an anomaly developed in some unguarded wrinkle of my brain, and a conscience finally began to develop. And I remembered that blue eyed, honest- faced girl, and I was finally ashamed.

I wish I could tell Bonnie Mcneeley that sometimes, some 35 years later, a man sits in the dark and imagines turning the plastic pieces of a model 57 Chevy in his hands, thinking that even now if he could put it together it would be the solution to one of the most enduring puzzles of his life-- and maybe the key that would have helped solve other puzzles he never found the answer to.

I wish I could tell Bonnie Mcneeley I remember her even today, though I’ve forgotten names and faces of people I have considered friends and even known as lovers.

I wish above all that I could tell her that I at least kept the folded over bit of paper that served as a card, where a smudgy scrawl in No. 2 pencil had
read i love you …

I wish Bonnie Mcneeley, who was not a cootie girl, knew that I finally figured ou how to love someone back, and I paid for it in pain and time in the dark alone too.
…And it was worth it.

11

In my class there was on main Cootie Girl. I was not her, but I was in the caste just above her. So, I pretty much understood what was going on with her and was nice. I still try to be nice to everyone, which got me in trouble a couple times. I still have a social anxiety and have a hard time making friends. Damn elementary school…that stuff stays with you.

12

strangecurriencies : Good God, man! What a story. I wish I knew where she was today, I’d sure tell ya’. Bummer! Well, I was in too good of a mood to go to bed, but your little tale solved that. Nite,all.

13

Well I don’t know about any Cootie girls, but I do remember “The Fat Kid”. I was in second grade and somehow the fat kid, who is usually a social pariah to begin with, became “The Fat Kid”. Basically the idea was that he had “invisible fat” and if he got any where near you, like 5 feet or closer, the “invisible fat” might touch you. So the upshot is that for almost every recess for almost every day for an entire school year (and maybe more after that, we moved after that year) no one, and I mean NO ONE would go near him. He wasn’t just ignored, he was actively shunned. Anyone would stop playing what they were playing to run away from him. I can’t imagine what kind of torment that must have been. I just had a thought, maybe he reads the SDMB. I can’t remember the guys name (can’t remember anyone’s name back that far) but it would have been the Helen Bush School in Seattle around 1977. If you are that kid, I will not insult you by apologizing, like that would do any good. I will tell you that A) I am now fat (240lbs on a 5’9" frame, ouch) and B) in 7th grade I had to ride the short bus for about half the year because of some bus routing problem (I quite honestly still don’t understand why) and **I **was the pariah. I didn’t have “invisible fat”, but the kids on that bus where like “lord of the flies” meets “island of doctor moreau”. There was this one kid who looked like Malachi from Children of the Corn who would attack me with the seat belts, and this other kid who would bring dog shit in his lunch bag and try and get me to hold it, i will just stop there. In any case, I hope you made it.

14

That was very touching and well-written.

Quasimodem

15

wow starngecurrencies, that was quite a touching post. are you a writer by profession?

16

I read this book, The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes, to all my elementary classes. It is an incredible book. I suggest all of you with children read it to them, it’ll make a difference. Especially if your child may be a Cootie Girl/Boy or a taunter of Cootie Girls/Boys.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0156423502/102-8717012-6350550

Incredibly, this book was written in 1944 or so, and the lessons it teaches are still relevant today.

17

strangecurrencies, wow, man, that was some writing. You sure have the gift. Looking forward to seeing more from you here.

AHunter3 and SteveSteve, I see there were more flavors to the lowest level of the caste system than I had realized.

Remember in the film Flatliners where Kevin Bacon goes and looks up the girl who had been taunted in his grade school and begs her for forgiveness? Here’s hoping all of us can somehow find peace with those demons from our past. Or if not find peace, go after them and kick their butts.

18

Sigh…

There was a kid at my school who was different - I don’t know/remember why or how this happened, but he was just classified as “other”. The only “strange” things that I can remember him doing were things like standing up when one of the school cleaners entered the classroom - and understand that this was in apartheid South Africa, and the cleaning staff were all black. He was a bit of weed - not very sporty, which, at an all boys school in South Africa where sport is a religion, is a crime all on its own…

As early as age 8 or 9, he was shunned by many (if not most), and we would fight not to be the one who stood behind him in line for assembly or class for fear of catching “vearylitis” (his surname was Veary). We would tease him and taunt him as being “a homo” - in our best camp accents (this was in the early 80’s).

As we grew up, the silly games stopped, he moved away and then came back later in High school, but he was still different. We met up again after University, through mutual friends, and he is now openly gay and living with his boyfriend (who I didn’t meet), and I often wonder whether it was this that we had sensed, even as young boys, or whether our teasing and labelling was some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. Guess I’ll never know…

Gp

19

I was not ostracised but I was always this ----><----- close to being ostracised as I was poor, came from a dysfunctional family (gave me an interesting array of personality quirks), and was a “smart” kid. I didn’t actively taunt the ostracised kids but I also did not try to stop any taunting or try to make friends with them. I also discouraged attempts by a couple of ostracised kids to make friends with me by not recipricating the friendship (not by being actively cruel). I coped by making friends with the “bad” kids. Although the “bad” kids were never popular, they were also never mercilessly taunted (at least not openly) as people tended to be afraid of them. Picture the lead female character in “Freaks and Geeks” and you will have an idea of what I’m talking about (although there were many, many differences).

I think another thing that actually helped me (believe it or not) is that I moved many times when I was a kid (about 13 different schools total). I never had strong school friendships but there was also never enough time for any one school to pick me out and totally ostracise me for years. Also, I gained a good perspective on cliques. I realized that the world was a huge place, that the popular kids were just big fish in tiny ponds and that it really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

I want to add that I was touched and impressed by strangecurrencies post.

I am really enjoying this thread and can’t wait to see more responses.

20

At my elementary school there were several cootie girls, though the circumstances seem a bit different than those described by others here. I lived in a well to do neighborhood. There was one small area that was included in our district but was not part of the same socio-economic group. The kids from that area all stayed together and existed as a separate entity from the main group of kids, so I guess that really doesnt qualify.

The 2 or 3 cootie girls we had were unattractive, but their situation was more in fun and jest than anything else. They also brought it on themselves by chasing the boys and kissing them. As I recall, it was because of that the girls were named things like “ape-face” Lawlor and “Krudball” Kramer. We boys wanted to let it be known with no doubts that we were very displeased about being kissed by these girls. No one hated them or did mean things to them, we just gave them a wide berth on the playground to avoid the diseased kiss. Incidentally, Krudball grew up into one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She has (or had, she would be 36 now and I havent seen her in 10 years or so) a model’s figure and a beautiful face.

There were other kids, primarily in other grades. that were from “odd” families and were ostracized. I remember feeling especially sorry for the girls. The guys could usually find some friends with other unpopular boys, but the girls were completely alone. I could never bring myself to join in tormenting them, but I never really stood up for them either. That isn’t something I’m proud of.