Never joined a frat in college. Now in my mid-40’s, I have no regrets about that decision.
How about you? Were you in a fraternity or sorority when you were in college? Did it have a positive/negative influence on your academic/social life? How old are you now, and how do you feel these days about it? Do you maintain an association with any of your fellow members simply because they are members, or do you only associate with the particular ones with whom you developed real friendships at the time?
I was, although my folks had me wait a year before joining to develop some good study habits first. I had a lot of really good friends in my club, Phi Delt, and I’m sure all the fun we had together negatively impacted my academic studies but greatly elevated my social life, both partying with them and being asked to a whole lot of sorority events. It definately was a plus overall, although I would have had just as much fun had I not joined, just likely with a little different group of guys.
There’s a few close brothers I still keep up with frequently, about a half dozen, about the same as non-brothers from the same period that were equally good friends. And yes, occasionally we’ll all have a big group gathering, which pretty much is a real kick in the butt. Good guys, good memories, still making more.
No. Non white and non black people rarely joined sororities in my college. (And black people generally had their own fraternity/sorority). Fraternities had a better diversity ratio, and there were a few Chinese girls in the sororities, but I know of no Indian girls that joined. It was a combination of:
seeing a sea of white faces, which is always hard to get over.
Parents basically thinking it was 100% a waste of time. “You’re there to study, not go to parties!”
Friends looking down on it. “You have to buy your friends?”
Now I know half of that stuff isn’t true, but back then it just wasn’t done. Instead, I joined the South Asian Student Association. What a waste of time.
I did not, although I attended a few frat parties when I was underage and on the prowl for free booze.
Nowadays there are so many clubs and other opportunities for college students to meet people with similar interests that the Greek system feels a bit old-fashioned and unnecessary. Not to mention the negative press.
The school I graduated from had a big greek system… the school was huge though. Greek life was simply not that big of the landscape and the houses were all off campus. There were plenty of social and party opportunities that had nothing to do with the more structured greek system. I did have one friend who joined a sorority my last year when a lot of our group had grduated or was graduating. She got in for the networking and leadership position opportunities. From the sounds of it the greek system parties were kind of boring.
Tending bar in my boxers at the candy necklace/wear what you wear to bed party didn’t take letters on my chest. Sadly the party mascot, an inflatable sheep, died at that party… RIP Love Ewe. Even more sadly I was all happily engaged to my now ex-wife. Ah the missed opportunities.:smack:
Whether it was an accurate depiction of them or not, the notion I had of the “Greeks” was that they wanted to humiliate anyone who wanted to join, make you beg to be considered sufficiently cool for them to contemplate letting you be part of their org. Then, on top of that, there was this image of them as hating schoolwork and being prepped to pass tests without having to actually understand anything, or of a whole bunch of people paying one comparably geeky kid to write everyone’s term paper, or otherwise cheat on the academics. Then, on top of that, the notion that sorority and fraternity members paired off like Barbie and Ken dolls, with lots of sexual polarization (date rape in the frat houses, sorority girls deliberately getting pregnant at carefully planned times to precipitate desirable marriages, other nasty stuff). And loud noisy parties. And a general sense that Animal House was not an exaggeration.
I’m 43, and no: my college wasn’t big enough to have a Greek system. Sometimes I wonder whether I would have joined a sorority if I’d had the chance, but I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.
Technically, yes. But it was Alpha Phi Omega, which is a co-ed service fraternity. So it’s not exactly a “real” fraternity; it’s closer to something like an honors society or scouting.
First time I went to college, it was an women’s college, that partnered with Johns Hopkins. I don’t think there were any sororities, and the one frat party I went to was awful - and that was before someone set off a stink bomb. It was January - not the sort of weather to open windows.
When I returned to college, I was 23 and I had no interest in the Greek societies, or anything to do with on-campus life. No regrets in the least.
My freshman year roommate tried to convince me that I would never meet any friends and never have any fun if I didn’t join a frat. That was not true. I had some interest in joining an “alternative” co-ed frat/sorority thing because I had a few friends, ultimately couldn’t be arsed to actually apply.
No. The Greek system was not seen as cool at my school except by other Greeks. Sure, it existed, and a certain percentage (about 12% IIRC) of students were Greek, but they were seen as almost an alien species by much of the rest of the student body. They dressed very differently, so could be identified on sight. In my time there, I got to know exactly one guy who belonged to a frat, at my job. He was nice enough. I didn’t know any sorority girls except a friend from the dorms who joined the Diversity Sorority, which wasn’t the same thing anyway.
My school did not have a large percentage of students in Greek life and I never joined. I had neither the desire nor the money. I dated a girl in a sorority and a couple friends in frats, so I had access to some of their events.
There are schools, mostly smaller ones that I’ve seen, where if you abstain from Greek life you may have trouble socializing.
I did. Joined a large National Fraternity, but our chapter was very small and in a “rebuilding” phase.
It was okay. No hazing or bullshit. Made some real good friends I still stay in contact with. Gave me a place to live essentially on campus. Got to learns some “leadership” skills. Held some offices, ran some programs.
No. At the time I thought that the whole concept was thoroughly lame. I worked at the radio station and was a Deadhead (still am) so I had loads of friends and parties from those two groups.