What a Shitty Thing to Do

My husband and I just got back from a lovely vacation on a small island. It’s usually a huge draw for tourists, but this is the off-season, so we thought we’d avoid most of the crowds.

The island town was somewhat busy, but certainly not as bad as it gets in the prime season. We were having a blast. We rented a golf cart, and zoomed around the island.

On the first evening, we saw the most beautiful sunset of my life. We pulled the golf cart to the side of the road, and sat to watch it. Almost indescribably gorgeous colors over the water, the birds, the wind . . . it was lovely.

As we sat there, a van pulled up beside us and stopped abruptly. There were about six adults inside, laughing and shouting. From the windshield came a stream of liquid which landed in front of the golf cart. (Apparently the windshield wiper fluid dispenser must have been broken, because the fluid was shooting out like a water pistol to the side instead of onto the glass.)

I heard a woman’s voice squeal, “No, back up! Back up! You’re missing them!”

The driver paused, and then drove forward, apparently thinking the better of it (probably after guaging the size of my six-foot-four hubby.) They drove away, laughing uproariously.

Me, I just sat there, jaw agape. What a downright shitty thing to do. There we were, a couple enjoying a romantic moment, watching a beautiful sunset, and a van load of assholes thought it would be funny to soak us with their windshield fluid.

As they drove away, I saw on the back of the van the name of a local resort, like one of those courtesy shuttles which take guests to and from the airport. Perhaps the people in the van had just rented it from the resort, but I don’t think so. (I’ve never known the resorts to rent out their vans.) Somehow, it makes it even worse if there was actually a resort employee piloting the thing.

Now I understand why the locals hate tourists. If they have to put up with that sort of crap all Season long, I’d start hating people, too.

Assholes apparently travel in packs, and in this case, they either hijacked the van, or the resort employee was in on it.

We left after that, the susnest spoiled for us. I was flabberghasted at the whole event. When I see a couple snuggling, watching a susnet, my fist instinct is to smile, not *spray * them with something. Christ Almighty, how is that funny?

I would send a note to the resort named on the van telling the story. Just a heads up that one or more of their employees are providing memorable vacation moments for out-of-town guests.

Are you sure they weren’t a bunch of teenagers? I would think that would make more sense.

Or maybe they were all drunk.

This is why everyone should always have an empty beer bottle handy.

Sorry to hear about those jerks.

That’s a shame – but at the same time, if you could have laughed at their stupidity, you coulda finished enjoying the sunset.

Once I was on a romantic nighttime beach walk with a woman. I have long hair, and some kids saw us and started chanting, “We hate lesbians! We hate lesbians!”

I started to go toward them to explain the facts of life (where to begin?), but the woman pulled me back, and we laughed at the cretins, and the walk wasn’t spoiled.

Laughter is pretty strong in such cases. Stronger even than windshield wiper fluid.

I was walking down the street in Coronado one night and a van load of morons tossed water balloons at me.

They were definitly adults. One of them had grey hair.

As to their state of intoxication, I cannot say. It’s highly possible they were drunk, because just about the only businesses that were still open that late in the year were the bars. I saw very few kids the entire time we were there, except for the locals-- whom I doubt would be driving around in a resort van.

We intentionally waited until late in the Season so that we could have a quiet, romantic vacation. I had this romantic image in mind of colorful leaves, and relative solitude. When the weekend was over, and most of the tourists gone, we got just that. It was just what I had imagined. The only flaw was that van-load of jerks.

In a way, I kind of feel sorry for them. Their lack of respect for a romantic moment hints to me that they must never have had one themselves.

They weren’t in your romantic moment. They were in their rambunctious moment. I’m sure they didn’t try to ruin your romantic moment. And I’m sure they meant no harm. It wouldn’t have bothered me.

Um … yes, they did try to ruin a romantic moment, and they did mean to do some harm. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have tried to squirt an anonymous couple with windshield-wiper fluid.

Let the resort know.

Once I was almost killed on the interstate in Pennsylvania by a truck from an auto parts store. He was tailgaiting me closely in busy traffic, then passed on the right and cut me off. I had my wife and twins in the car at the time.

I noted the name of the store, where I was on the interstate, time and date and a description of the driver and sent them off with a detailed account of the incident to the store, whose address I found on the Internet. I wanted the owner to know that this particular employee wasn’t representing him well.

I got a letter back a couple of weeks later containing a copy of an employment termination report, and an apology.