Most noticeably, I get waaaay better while playing pool. Also, my vocabulary expands dramatically, not to mention my confidence.
Unfortunately, I have not mastered the art of hitting that fine line and staying there, so inevitably I slip over into just being drunk.
I’m better at speaking any foreign language I already speak at least a bit of…Russian in particular. (I don’t have as many opportunities to speak it as I used to, so if I’m sober, I’m more uptight about making grammar mistakes). The good news: “moderate” alcohol consumption in my case means about half a glass of wine, so I’m a very cheap date.
I’m very good at getting tired and morose and thinking over all the injustices I have faced in my life. Like the time my girlfriend wanted to be just my girl friend. Bitch. Let me tell you, you can’t trust women. Not that men are any better. Fucking boss. He could have emailed me, rather than complain about it in front of everybody. Fuck em. Fuck em all. Gimme another beer. Shut up, I’m tired of your crap. Oh yeah? Fuck it, I’m going to bed. Fucking socks, come off! Man, my life sucks.
Good one, Perd Werfect.
I’m one more whose language abilities increase with alcohol. My inhibitions about making mistakes disappear. Also, I have the ability of auntie em and burundi to appear sober no matter how much I drink. Overall, I am a great drunk.
Koffing’s remark reminds me of something I recently saw scribbled on the wall of a dive bar bathroom: “I’d start a revolution if I could get up in the morning.” Should be my tagline.
Most of the time, when I’m with a bunch of people, I’m the Silent Bob of the group. I don’t say much, but whenever I let loose, it’s pretty well received. After a beer or 4, I’m more like Jay. I’ll say just about any damn thing that comes into my head. And people are impressed. I’ve had several people tell me things like, “wow, that’s cool, why aren’t you like that sober?”
Of course, once I’m completely in the bag I lose that edge. I get to the point where loud = funny or if it was semi-funny, the first time, it’s comedy GOLD the sixth time!