I guess “getting older” is a relative thing, huh.
I didn’t think I was “getting older” until I turned fifty. I’m pushing sixty now. When people in their thirties talk about getting older my first thought is that they are in the wrong thread. But of course, they aren’t.
This is spot-on for me. Recognizing that most passion is just wasted flailing when it’s for things beyond my control has de-stressed my life a thousand-fold. It’s given my a much-needed objectivity, especially with petty family dramas. “Yes, we know you’re a middle-child who didn’t get enough individual attention as a child. You’re 40 years old now. Grow up and pass the fucking turkey already.”
My dad once told me that the one good thing about getting older was the girl-watching. As you get older you get the range of women you can admire keeps getting bigger and bigger. A teenager’s view is pretty much teenagers through the mid-twenties. But, when you are 65, you can admire women from 18 to 80.
I have found he was perfectly correct.
40 isn’t old. But it is a good time to realize you are in the middle of your life. And also that you still have time to make changes, to be a better person, etc. And by every definition in the world, it is “older”. It’s older than I was last week, for example.
Give far less of a shit. This too will pass. As will I.
Not by my definition. It’s “younger”. 
[quote=“BrotherCadfael, post:23, topic:706913”]
My dad once told me that the one good thing about getting older was the girl-watching. As you get older you get the range of women you can admire keeps getting bigger and bigger. A teenager’s view is pretty much teenagers through the mid-twenties. But, when you are 65, you can admire women from 18 to 80.
I have found he was perfectly correct.[/QUOTE
20 or so years ago, when I was pushing 40, I was passing time at a shopping mall and observed an attractive young woman of about 20. I admired her as she walked by. A few minutes later, a woman of about 40 passed by and I admired her beauty as well. I later saw them together. They were mother and daughter! It was the first time I thought about being of the age that I would find women of widely varying ages equally attractive. Yes, that’s a good thing.
I think there are websites for that.
The worst part? Having to pay attention to the details of your health insurance plan options. (Really, chronic health problems are easier to deal with that determining which plan is best for those problems.)
The best part? Aging out of a lot of bullshit, especially public sexual harassment. (A little slump, an unattractive tweak to the drape of a sweater, and one feels so much safer …)
The analogy I (at 65) like is a line moving slowly, exorbitantly towards a cliff over which we each will fall.
Every time someone older dies, we move 1 step closer to the edge.
Eventually, it will be our turn to be “next”.
All life is a series of stages; we each pass through them at appropriate times.
IOW: do not begrudge, or be alarmed when the younger folks turn out to be doing pretty much exactly what you did - own slang, own clothing styles, same “Up Yours!” to authority. Maybe different drugs. Same sex.
That seems to be the consensus.
No Wait! That’s a good part! A chance to bust out the suit, eat deviled eggs and bury all those son’s-a-bitches you been actin’ like you were friends with for all those years. The ones who were there. The ones with different versions of what *really *happened.
Your history ain’t really yours till you are the last one around to recount it.
I don’t have to work. Any time I do go somewhere early in the morning for whatever reason, I’m appalled at the traffic jams and the amount of time people have to spend sitting in their cars. It’s no wonder there’s so much anger out there.
I don’t have to work. I never worked at something I loved to do. It was a means to support self and family and put money in the bank. Towards the end I hated the daily stress. It was a great day when I finally gave it the finger and never looked back.
I don’t have to work. I shop when the stores are empty. I go to movies when the theaters are empty. I take trips to the coast or the mountains or wherever when the parks and beaches are empty.
I don’t have to work. I have enough money in the bank to do whatever I feel like doing, to go wherever I feel like going, to buy pretty much anything within reason that I want.
The downside is the usual physical complaints, part of which are my own fault. But it beats working.
I guess I’m at the age where I’m reaping all the benefits of getting older, without experiencing any of the downsides. I’m 37.
I like that I’m at an age when people take me and my complaints seriously. Just a few years ago, people were patting me on the head and speaking to me in patronizing tones. Now that doesn’t happen as much.
I like that I also have the confidence of age. When I was in my 20s, I didn’t know anything, and I knew it. And it sucked. Now, I feel like I know some things and I don’t hesitate to let this be known.
I also have a better understanding of my weaknesses. I know what’s fixable and what’s not fixable. I’ve learned that hard work sometimes isn’t sufficient, and that there’s no shame in accepting imperfection.
The one downside that I can think of is that I’m that age when you’re expected to be a grown-up. It isn’t unusual to be single and childfree when you’re in your 20s or early 30s. But I’m almost 40 and I’m still unsaddled by ties and responsibilities to another person. I’m constantly having to correct misconceptions about my status and lifestyle, since people just assume a woman my age has a husband and a family. I’m used to the awkwardness that arises sometimes, but I suspect it will only get worse as I get older and the majority of my age cohort continues to accumulate children and grandchildren.
Being a grandparent sounds great. If I could have skipped the whole parent thing and gone straight to grandparent, I’d be all in.
A thousand times, yes. I don’t have to work. I don’t have to get up in the morning and go someplace I don’t want to go and spend time with people I don’t want to spend time with and do things I don’t want to do.
It is a particularly delicious ritual for me each day to wake up and say to myself “I don’t have to get up yet if I don’t want to.”
The biggest downside is that not only do the years get shorter, so do the decades. On my next birthday I’ll be 70. I recall turning 60, and I cannot believe it’s been going on 10 years. Not even 5. Bearing this in mind, I guess 80 is just around the corner. If I live that long.
Yeah, the realization that you only have 10-20 years left is a real downer. Haven’t come to grips with it quite yet, as my brain is still that of a young man.
I remember reading something years ago that went something like “At 20 you’re always worried about what other people think about you, at 30 you don’t care about what other people think about you, at 40 you realize they weren’t talking about you to begin with” I’ve always maintained that “I don’t have anything to prove to anyone”. That is, you’ll never manipulate me into to doing something by saying “I bet you can’t…” or “but you’re so good at it” (just ask me to do it), you can make fun of me and I’ll defend myself but it’s really not going to get on my nerves*…As I’ve gotten older I’ve gone from reminding myself not to sweat the little stuff to actually not sweating it.
On the con side, the health issues. I’m only 34 but in the past handful of years, my back pain that’s bugged me since high school now doesn’t go away on it’s own after a few days, it tends to require a dr visit. My heartburn and trouble swallowing things turned into 3 endoscopies. I just had shoulder surgery because I tripped and tore some cartilage when I broke my fall with my arm. When people say ‘don’t get old’ they’re not kidding. Again, I’m only 34, but more and more things tend to be a whole big ordeal.
*I remember many years ago I something was really getting on my ex-wife’s nerves, some very minor (in my POV) spat with a co-worker. She said ‘I don’t understand how you can just let this stuff roll right off you’ to which I replied, ‘I totally understand where you’re coming from, but from my POV, I don’t understand why you get so worked up over it, this kind of stuff just doesn’t bother me’ one co-worker told another co-worker [something I don’t remember] WhoTF cares, just ignore it and move on. Not only is getting all worked up making you nuts, when you go ‘deal with it’, you’re just egging them on.’ It really bugged her that when the same thing happened to me, I’d just let it go, it really didn’t bug me or at least not enough to stew over it all night. We’re managers, people talk about us, it’s what they do, move on.
Nearly 78. The loss of physical abilities is bad. All parents long gone, my younger brother gone 15 years now. The thread some of you may have read about dragging luggage by its telescoping handle because I can no longer carry it upstairs. Just in the past year, I have been unable to walk much more than a half mile because my hip starts to ache. I was accustomed to walking 4 miles to my office (still have a desk, though not a private office). That’s bad. Of the 14 people I have written joint papers with, five are dead. I have a bad eye and distance driving is now something of a problem.
On the other hand, I generally don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do and that is a plus. I tend not to get upset about things. If my children and grandchildren feel strongly about climate change (and they do) it is up to them to do something about it, not me. I will be long gone before it hits.
Bad:
The sheer predictability of human stupidity.
Seeing loved ones get sick and die
Seeing evil people prosper.
Good:
Being comfortable in your own skin
Letting go of useless misconceptions and desires
Learning the value of human relationships
Not caring how you look, or what other people think.
Napping