Good: Well I’ll be damned- Never thought I’d make it this far (64).
The Bad: The only time I don’t have to pee is when I’m peeing.
At least IME, it seems to be less of a line moving slowly than a series of widely separated cliffs.
Up through my late 30s, I had a full complement of grandparents and great-aunts and great-uncles on my father’s side, and I still had one great-aunt on my mother’s side. Then about the time I turned 40, both grandparents on my father’s side and a great-aunt on that side, and that last great-aunt on my mother’s side, all died within months of each other.
All of a sudden, instead of a whole bunch of people in my family who were two generations older than me, there were only a couple of aged survivors who would probably pass away soon as well. Seemingly overnight, I went from having two generations above me, to just having one generation there.
Same thing in the past year or two, with my parents. A couple of years ago, their lives were starting to be somewhat constrained by age, but for the most part they were still doing most of what they used to, just a bit more carefully and selectively. Now it’s a big deal for either of them to walk a few hundred feet, and my mother’s memory is going, to the point where she has to have a live-in companion. My mother’s brother died several years ago, and my father’s sister is on the other side of the country and has turned into a bit of a recluse.
So now there’s really only technically one generation above my sisters and me. We’re really it, at this point.
I hear you. My mother died back in about 1992. I was 45 at the time and her death from cancer was expected. It didn’t really make me feel my age. Fast forward: last year my sister died. She was ten years older than I, and it hit home pretty hard. That leaves my brother and me. He’s eleven years older and has lost both legs to diabetes; I doubt that he has much time left. That will make me the patriarch of the family and the only surviving older member. The next closest person to me is my niece, who is in her 50s.
I have the money to do almost any thing I ever wanted to do but my health and body will not allow me do them e.g. I wanted to take long vacations hiking in exotic places but could not afford it, now I can afford it but can hardly hike down six steps to my car in the driveway.
That truly sucks.
Along those lines, I’m starting to feel some urgency about doing some of the outdoor things I still want to do; over the past couple of years, my body’s been giving me indications that it won’t be indestructible forever. If I’m going to do that century bike ride, I’d better start working toward it; ditto some hikes that I’ve wanted to do in Glacier that are on the longer, more adventurous side. It may not be ‘now or never’ but you don’t know when something will happen that means that the ‘now or never’ moment is suddenly in the rearview mirror.
I strongly concur.
This, in spades. The moment when you realize you can be the grownup in your relationships with your screwed-up parents is genuinely liberating.
[Dennis the Peasant]
I’m 37 - I’m not old!
[/DtP]
Almost everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work right any more.
These days getting lucky means I walk into a room and remember why I went in there in the first place.
Only 2000 miles and one sib told me just two days ago that he tells the parental unit this bullshit even though he has no intention of taking care of her because it makes my life harder. He vowed to continue the practice in the future.:mad:
I am 60.
I’ve often said that the worst thing about growing old is watching prices go up. When I was a kid gas was 33¢, cigarettes were 30¢ (not that I was buying either of those), comic books were 12¢ and paperbacks were 60¢, &c.
Bad:
Stuff takes so much longer to heal.
A year or two ago I was out with the kids on scooters and I tried to do something stupid like a bunny hop and managed to fall hands forward on the pavement with great force. The kids looked at my dazed face and said “Are you OK?” “No I’m not. I think I broke every single one of my fingers. We’re going home now!”
Well, I only broke one finger, and not noticeably, but it took several months before everything felt normal. A teenager doing the same thing would snap back in a week.
Good:
As a twenty-something, I detested being looked down upon all the time by the older generation, such as when buying something in a store or getting repairs done. At close to fifty, that has pretty much disappeared. I assume it will return in a couple of decades.
I tend to fret and worry about stuff when I don’t know how to fix it or if it can be fixed. After a few decades, the list of stuff that I haven’t observed getting fixed has dwindled. For example, a toilet going bad is just a grumbling trip to Home Depot, since I have replaced them before. Tearing open a wall to fix stuff within? No prob… I love working with Sheetrock.
“Yes, we know you’re a middle-child who didn’t get enough individual attention as a child. You’re 40 years old now. Grow up and pass the fucking turkey already.”
Ah yes. This was a big milestone in my life.
20’s: I refuse to be a grownup
30’s: I try to be a grownup but it’s mostly uphill work
40’s: I’ll be damned, I’m becoming a grownup!
50’s: effortless grownupness. Pass the fucking turkey and get over your pathetic little past you’re inflicting on us all.
I’m in very good shape about this. I can retire any time now. In a few months I can get COBRA with excellent benefits at a reasonable cost until I can get Medicare. And they need me more than I need them.
At this point I can relax, and do stuff that interests me, and which I can use after I retire. I don’t have to worry about the long term future of my division. Hell, the best thing that can happen for me would be for them to close it down in about a year and give me a nice package. Bad for other people, but with today’s Silicon Valley economy, not too bad. But I can kick back a bit since I don’t have to worry about long term career prospects.
I don’t look my age, so when I retire a lot of people are going to be shocked.
Health-wise I’m pretty good. Both kids are out of the house and doing well.
About the only bad stuff is a few aches and pains, but nothing very serious.
Biggest good thing is that in just a few years I’ll be able to catch up on my sleep, my books, and everything else.