Oh, it’s not confusing. It’s just very easy to forget to do if you’re not used to it, which can result in some awkward moments.
In the US it’s considered rude to eat noisily; in Japan, “slurping” hot noodles like udon or ramen is the norm. There’s a couple of Japanese noodle shops near where I work, and if you’re in there for lunch you hear nothing but “shhllrp!” “shhllurp!”
In the US we tend to be not very direct about what we think (sometimes.) We don’t say “no,” we say “well, um, maybe blah blah blah.” Some guy I work with at my customer is from Italy, and he has that European bluntness where he says exactly what is on his mind, and no more. Us: “Well, um, I think it could be better here and here.” Him: “It’s shit, you see?”
Aha. I parsed your answer as saying that the horse meat in Britain is considered disgusting. But we don’t get horse meat in Britain, see, so we’re not likely to be offended. And when you said “love their gee gees” I thought you meant horse meat.
:smack:
How not to offend Westerners when in their country? Don’t try to haggle on prices in a store. No amount of wheddling, whining, “Isn’t it on sale?” “Can’t you do better?” “Oh, can’t you just charge me for x and throw in y for free?” is going to make me change my mind and give you a discount when I COULD LOSE MY JOB for that! It makes the whole experience uncomfortable and I just want you to leave. I’m not going to give you my best service, and I’m not going to look forward to seeing you again. I can somewhat understand this in people who are just visiting our country, but I find it even more annoying in people who have been living and working here for YEARS. Maybe some small, independent, family-run stores will wheel and deal on price, and it’s acceptable when buying a car or a house…but not on a $20 item in a corporate store. The price is the price.
And if you think people can be indirect in the states, just try life out in Japan. Instead of “no,” it can be the same “well, ummm, maybe,” or sometimes it’s just a quick “yes, OK” without any feeling behind it, usually just to show they are listening, not to actually say yes. Then there’s the silent treatment, or agreeing with something you said earlier, or maybe, if you are a lottery winner and it’s the right phase of the moon, a yes will actually mean a yes, in all the senses of the word.
I’m exaggerating for comic effect, but gee whiz sometimes it feels like that.
oh yeah, I agree. I’ve worked it out a little:
“Yes/OK” = “I acknowledge that you said something.”
“Understand.” = “I acknowledge that I grasp the meaning of what you said. This does not constitute agreement.”
“Maybe” = “No.”
“Difficult” = “Absolutely, positively impossible.”
ETA:
Americans (can’t speak for the English) really put a premium on wearing deodorant and showering frequently. This isn’t universally shared.
While Americans may hug more than other cultures, we don’t do the kissy-kiss thing when meeting new people. My sister’s in-laws are Haitian and I have grown accustomed to doing this, but it was a little jolting at first. It would be something I would recommend against doing to a foreign exchange student, for instance.
If an American says “Hey. How are you?”, all you have to do is say something. “Fine and you?” works. Even “Hello” is good (which is what I answer with). But ignoring it is a bad form.
The concept of “personal space” is quite different in the US. It even varies from state to state, I think. If the person you’re speaking to keeps backing away, it’s because you’re too close.
I think Americans are very ‘germophobic’ (for lack of a better term) compared to some cultures. Some years ago in a fast food restaurant I encountered a Chinese* woman who was trying to decipher the menu. She couldn’t figure out how to order, and the youngster behind the counter was unable to help her. She turned to my plate of food and began picking up items and asking “What this?”. I offered to let her taste some of the items (french fry, chicken nugget, etc.). She eventually pointed to my entire plate and said “This?”. I helped figure out she wanted a #4 and went to my table. My lunch companions were horrified that I didn’t demand a replacement plate (She didn’t eat that much, and I don’t live in fear of microbes like most).
*Best I could tell from look and language.
I’ve known some people from the Caribbean/Latin America who have had a difficult time adjusting to the American concept of punctuality.
If an American says “Be there at noon,” she means “Be there at noon.”
Whereas if someone from certain parts of the Caribbean/Latin America hears “Be there at noon,” she hears “Be there before dark, more or less.”
No, I don’t think it is. I think it’s more a case that the person hosting is making sure that their offer is serious, they’ve tried everything they can to be a good host.
One I thought of just there was I can imagine shaking hands isn’t as universal in a lot of places, if someone in Ireland/Britain/US puts out their hand to shake yours, unless you’ve got something in both hands, you’ll come across as rude if you don’t shake theirs, hand that is.
Oh my goodness. This is the best example of what not to do in the Anglo-speaking world so far. Yikes.
When you’re on public transportation like a subway car or bus, where people are crammed in tightly, the polite thing to do is avoid eye contact, especially with those who are pressing against or are otherwise standing within the natives’ personal space zone (approx. arm’s length).
Once on a subway car (T car) in Boston, I saw some graffitti saying something like, “Isn’t it a shame we can’t look each other in the eye?” or something equally silly. It’s not a shame – it’s a way of respecting others’ personal space using the only means available in the circumstances!
In America, men don’t hold hands with each other.
If you are two guys and you’re holding hands, that means that you’re a couple, and in some places (especially in the Deep South = Bible Belt) that activity is enough to get you the stink-eye from everyone you see.
For greetings, hugging between men is fine if you know the other person well, but it’s a sort of side-on hug, not full-frontal. If you are casual friends, handshakes or back-slaps are better. Women can hug each other as well, but those are getting to be more side-on now also. Women don’t usually do back-slaps.
Hugging between non-related and non-romantically-involved men and women is usually not ok. Handshakes or head-nods are much safer.
We’re touchy about people invading our personal space and being touched by other people. Don’t reach out and fix lint on someone, don’t adjust their clothes, don’t brush against them casually. Don’t lean over someone in a seat next to you to talk to the next person over, don’t lean over other people’s belongings, don’t stand too close when talking.
We’re also touchy about hygiene in a way that a lot of other places are not: bad breath, body odor, oily hair/skin, unkempt clothes… most of us will never in a million years SAY anything about it to you, but we DO notice, and we think you’re a disgusting person because of it.
We don’t talk about sex (which one you are or whether you’re getting any), personal appearance (especially weight and age!), politics, religion, finances, or personal life choices with anyone we do not know well, and often not even then. For example, what the average Japanese person considers an appropriate ‘get to know you’ question makes most Americans cringe and try to avoid them.
really? fries and nuggets? aren’t these finger foods that are meant to be shared in the first place? it’s not like there was any double dipping involved..
The way he described it, it didn’t sound like sharing food but that the woman just started picking up pieces from his plate and putting them back. Gross.
How about not yelling/hollering at the top of the lungs in public?
I can tell you that this is a common activity, here in Ireland at least, usually between 2am and 4am.
touching the food with your bare hands and putting them back would be gross. it didn’t even occur to me and i read it as picking up the plates. what culture would be ok with strangers playing with your food? /another vote for pukey
Yeah, here too (US). 
I’ve seen a lot of Asian people scream at their kids in public. Or, while in a mall, have a full-blown conversation with a friend, who is four or five shops away, which requires yelling across the building to be heard. That’s not really socially acceptable in the US.
No, just indirect. It was a question of the form “if I asked person A the question B, what would they say?” Indirect questions like this are not easy to grasp, and people will just answer question B themselves, as if they had been asked it.