Install a motion-detecting security light within 10 feet of your neighbor’s bedroom window, and set the sensitivity to Gnat Interrogation.
Oh, that was a bad week. 
Auuuggghhh!! That’s not just obnoxious, that’s cruel.
Step 1: Get 3 friends.
Step 2: Steal 4 cars.
Step 3: Get on a busy 4-lane highway at rush hour.
Step 4: Line up in formation, shoulder-to-shoulder, and slow to a complete stop.
Step 5: Get out of the cars and run away.
Step 6: Go home and have a circle-jerk to the news story about how four assholes totally shut down a major highway.
Find a name in a phone book, say five “Sarah Connors”.
Kill the first four.
Leave the last one alone.
Not everyone uses the gym lockers for their shoes. Find a pair and take a shit in them then put them back where you found them.
When I was younger I got given “The Complete Revenge Kit”. It included a piece of paper you could mail to someone. It was completely blank except typed in the middle were the words:
THEY KNOW
And there was another one for follow-up that said:
THE POLICE ARE WATCHING YOU. ACT NORMAL.
Never did use those as I thought they were too cruel.
Here’s one that I didn’t do with my friends when we were kids oh no sir: steal signs from roadworks for several months until you have a good stash, then get up really early before rush hour, and divert all the traffic from the main road into a dead-end street.
Well, it all hinges on who gets to choose and direct the music. A few badly placed musical stings could completely ruin your credibility and prospects. Would you want Adagio for Strings played at your wedding, and the theme for The Omen at the birth of your first born?
I hate alarms on cars.
My sister, god bless her. When visiting our mother sometimes has to park quite a distance from my moms place. When she parks it, she sets the alarm. I always point out “you know your not going to be able to hear the alarm from moms”
I get the so look.
Still waiting for it to dawn on her the idea that her alarm may disturb other people for 4 hours straight if someone nudges her car. Hasn’t yet.
I had a co-worker who used to unabashedly hork in his cubicle then spit it in the trash can. Hork = loosen up all the phlegm in your lungs by loudly “hork’n” it up.
I confroted him about it once, asking him politely if he could do that in the washroom.
I swear the guy wanted to fight me right there he was so angry.
I’m so sorry. No, really, I am. No one, out of a dozen mechanics I’ve taken the car to, can figure out how to turn the damn automatic-sets-itself alarm off, or the part of the system that beeps when you lock the doors. Even if you don’t lock the doors, the alarm arms itself, and you have to beep the thing to get into the car without the alarm going off. Maybe I’m not bribing them enough? The manual claims it can be done, but no one knows how!
(It’s a '98 Saturn, for all you google-fu masters out there. Please, please prove me wrong! I HATE that thing!)
I’m actually in the same boat. I just bought a new-to-me car and it honks if I use the key-remote to lock it. I usually manage to use the door lock, but with a child along the logistics sometimes overtake me. :
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