Allow me to turn your alarm off for you

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Ladies and gentlemen, I propose the following new law: all house and car alarms must have a telephone number printed on them. One may call this number after 5 minutes of unchecked alarm function, 24/7/365. If there is no answer, the caller may then turn the alarm off themselves. With a FUCKING SLEDGEHAMMER.
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And don’t give me any bullshit about this being utilizable by burglars: not turning the fucking thing off is a pretty good indication that you’re not fucking there.
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I cannot understand why anyone bothers with alarms anymore. No one ever even LOOKS for the alarm when you hear one go off in a parking lot or on the street anymore. They’re annoying as hell.

One time in Denver, a guy got pulled over outside my apartment and taken to jail. They let him lock up his car before they left, and this alarm could be set off by a falling leaf! After about 24 hours of every 15 minute alarm, I had had it. My next door neighbor and I went out to investigate. It was an old car, so it had an after market alarm. I bounce on the hood to set it off, found the alarm and pulled the fucking wires. My neighbor was saying, “you can’t do that!”. Watch me.

It was a week before he came back and got it. I would have been certifiably insane by then.

Oh, good rant. Short, to the point, and nice sound effects.

Alarms - car and house - go off frequently in our neighbourhood. Some house alarms have been known to go off for hours and hours and hours and… well, you’ve experienced it…

You just want to go rip the bloody thing off the house/car and shove it through the letterbox!

Hope the one that’s driving you mad goes off soon.

Just did. It only went on for an hour non-stop. It also had a particularly gut- and ear-wrenching tone.

I have a friend who’s hard of hearing. Her ex-roommate is deaf and works nights. Every night around 8:30, the roommate’s alarm would go off, and I could hear it (my friend couldn’t). Her roommate would leave that alarm going for an hour or so!

Every time I heard it I would imitate the sound for my friend. It became our inside joke about her roommmate.


I’m all for your law. Car alarms drive me crazy. Do you have any proposals about the people who drive around with music blaring in the middle of the night?

Oh, man. I’ve been there. I’ll never forget the night the car right outside my window went off literally every 5 minutes, starting at 2 am. Nothing like working a 15 hour day on two hours of sleep.

My idea works for car alarms and for blaring music in the middle of the night, but I have yet to get the funding I need to start placing accoustically triggered limpet mines randomly throughout the streets of my fair metropolis.

Stupid short-sighted politicians.

If it’s a house alarm I’d call the police. There’s a house down the street that has one, and it went off every twenty minutes one weekend when the owners were out of town. (I think they left the motion detector on with an animal in the house or something.) Anyway, the police dispatcher told me that every time they have to check out a false alarm and have it turned off, someone gets fined. I ended up calling three more times. The alarm got turned off only to pop on again almost immediately, but it sure made me feel better about not getting any sleep that weekend. :slight_smile:

I have done on a few occasions. Alas, the Garda Síochána (Irish police service) is not at liberty to do any fucking thing about it. The only way one can get any action is to invoke an environmental nuisance bylaw covering noise nuisance, which must be administered by the (totally motherfucking incompetent) city council - who only work 9 to 5, and have a backlog of several months. :rolleyes: God love Dublin.


That was a funny OP! :smiley: Thanks!

A car in the parking lot behind my bedroom sounded its alarm early one morning.

The next morning it happened again, so I placed a nice note under the window wiper.

The third morning it did it again, so typed a short note and ran it off through my printer onto a page of stick-on labels, which I plastered about the car.

There was no fourth time.

Can we extend these laws to people who pull up and honk instead of knocking on the door? At 6am?

Now I’m a bit concerned - I found out that the alarm was from the house two doors down from me. There’s an old widowed lady living there on her own, who was obviously out at the time of the alarm. I’d like to see if she was or wasn’t broken into, but there’s no access to her house (I live in a terrace). Also it’s now after midnight, so if she’s home, she’s probably asleep.

What’s that sound?
It’s coming from the OP!
Quick, somebody call the police, that car is being broken into!

Nobody ever sees the car alarm as an emergency.
Car alarm people, please understand this.
Your loud alarm is annoying. On the other hand, it will never protect your vehicle or it’s contents.

I install alarms, in houses, businesses, and cars. I also try my darndest to teach people how to use them, and correct any problem related to my installation.

If I learn that they are total asshats, the contract will not be renewed. Let them pay fines out the wazoo, but I want no link whatsoever with these people.

My apologies to innocent folk who are subject to nasty noise because some people can’t count their balls twice and arrive at the same sum.

It would if it would call my cell phone or pager, yep yep.

When we lived in Pittsburgh, one of our dimwit neighbors had a kid with a Camaro with an alarm that went off at the slightest provocation. The neighborhood was filled with cats who liked, as cats do, to hang out underneath cars. Every time a cat would go beneath the Camaro, the alarm would ring out. The cats in the neighborhood were all going deaf and no one was getting an uninterrupted night of sleep.

The family went away for a week and left the Camaro in the driveway. The alarm went off every single night and rang through to its time limit, fifteen minutes.

When they returned, they found a source of great happiness for the rest of the neighborhood, tacked to the Camaro’s windshield – a posterboard which read “One More Time and A Brick Goes Through The Window So That All Of the #&@!( Alarm Ringing Won’t Be In Vain!”

Oh, yes. The honking. Lazy a…what forum am I in? Good. Lazy ass rat bastards can’t get out of the damn car and go knock on the damn door. I wish to kill them. I’m with Opalcat - let’s extend the law to cover them.

If we go with 2trew’s idea, ‘placing accoustically triggered limpet mines randomly throughout the streets’, that would solve all three problems.

I like that better than the local law that was recently enacted. Supposedly, there’s now a $50 fine for car alarms that continously go off for no apparent reason but I don’t know if it’s being enforced. What if jjimm hasn’t really been hearing an alarm at all, but a bird? I doubt that the mines would work on birds.

BTW: our condo board recently approved fining honkers. No, not people with a protuding proboscis but those who think their legs are broken and thus cannot walk to the door.