Why do they even exist? Nobody ever responds to them, least of all the police! They’re nothing but noise pollution! And mine goes off if I lean against my electronic key-fob! And the dealers never even offer you a non-alarmed car as an option!
I am so with you on this. Car alarms are useless and annoying. And waaaaaaaay oversensitive. The street I live on has two used car dealerships. One night an (admittedly terrifyingly enormous) clap of thunder set off every damned car alarm in the neighborhood. The people who live here managed to turn theirs off within a few minutes. But the guy who owns one of the dealerships didn’t get here for over two hours. Two freakin’ hours of 30 car alarms going off in the middle of the night.
Dunno, might it be an insurance thing? Deterrant? A car alarm at least causes a moment of attention, which might be handy if there’s someone trying to smash in a window or jack the lock.
True, but a more useful system would be something like an ignition kill system. The damage is done either way, but at least the car isn’t going anywhere.
But if you didn’t have a car alarm, how else would you know when somebody has walked past within 5 feet of your car?
Can we include in this rant, businesses in residential neighborhoods which apparently have nobody in charge of a) checking when their alarm has been triggered and b) TURNING THE DAMN THING OFF?
Don’t they all come with a shut-off switch? Mine did. I’m pretty sure that we were told that it would definitely be there. GL!
My GF has hyperacusis as the result of a head injury several years ago. Car alarms aren’t just annoying for her - they cause her severe physical pain which can be so intense, she will sometimes collapse on the pavement. We’ve had a day’s plans utterly ruined when some moron set his alarm off as we were walking by, causing her so much pain she couldn’t stand up for the rest of the day.
I can’t even adequately express how angry car alarms make me. And they don’t do anyone any good, ever.
Bloody hell. One’s just gone off outside my flat! :eek:
I think Brainglutton is a witch.
There was one that went off damn near every day outside my grammar school. It was one of those where it’d be a different kid of sound every five seconds; long siren, fast siren, buzzer, etc. Class would just stop and we’d all hum along to it out of boredom until it stopped.
There’s a mockingbird on the block where I live that has learned to imitate the five-part car alarm. He likes to start up about 4:30 in the morning.
I plan to kill him soon.
When I hear a car alarm going off, I always hope that it really is a car thief, because I figure he or she, unlike the car owner, knows how to turn the damn thing off.
And is it true (as I read somewhere) that audible car alarms are so widespread (despite being almost completely ignored) because state laws require insurance companies to give a discount for cars with them installed? If so, the laws ought to be changed to require discounts for things like ignition kill switches and Lojack and similar products, and to penalize car owners who install audible car alarms.
I want Detroit to design car alarms that will totally drain the battery of the car in about 10 minutes. I’ll give you a couple of minutes to get to your car if the alarm goes off. But when you let it sound for 30 minutes plus, you better have AAA to come and give you a jump start.
I also want, some time, to find one of those toy pop cans or Christmas trees that dance to noises. Then I want to put it right next to one of the cars with proximity alarms.
“Please. step away from the car”
<<Dance dance swirl>>
“Step away from the car”
<<Gyrate wiggle wiggle>>
“Step back or the police will be notified. Move away from the vehicle…”
<<Electric slide, salsa, Cha cha cha>>
I’ve shared this before but…
Several years ago some neighbors of mine had one of those talking car alarms. The neighborhood kids just LUUUUVed to set it off just to hear the silly voice. It lasted about 3 weeks before the owners must have decided to no longer use it. (the alarm that is, not the car! :D)
Ha! I was going to post this exact thing. Except change 3 weeks to 8 years.
This cracked me up.
Very timely rant. I live in a super quiet neighborhood and starting at 8:30 am today, a car alarm across the street has been going off intermittantly all day long. ALL DAY. I don’t recognize the car, so I assume it’s someone visiting the neighbor. Unfortunately, no one was home and I don’t have their phone number. I left them a note on the car that read:
Dear Car Owner,
Just so you’re aware, your car alarm has been going off at intermittent intervals since 8:30am on Tuesday. This occurred on and off all day long, multiple times an hour. Please take steps to ensure that this does not occur in the future. Thank you very much!
The neighbors
and I included this graphic, which made me laugh:
I did that once, though my note read like this- “Shut your fucking car the fucking fuck up, you fuck!”
Yes, really.
Ha! Well, mine seemed to work, there was no noise after the owner got back and took care of things. Man, it about drove me out of my MIND, though.
I worked with a guy that lived in an apartment complex where another tenant had a super sensitive car alarm. The guy with the alarm would park under my co-workers window. The alarm would go off at odd times and wake my buddy. Every time the alarm went off the owner would come running out to check his car.
My co-worker got tired of this, so he went to a tennis school and got a bucket of worn out tennis balls. Then on Friday night at about midnight he tossed a tennis ball and hit the truck. Alarm goes off, owner runs out. When the next commercial came on the late late show, he threw another tennis ball. Lather rinse repeat until about 5 AM. Every 10-20 minutes he launched a tennis ball and made this guy run out in his skivies.
The next morning the guy must have taken his car to the alarm shop to have the sensitivity turned down, because it never went off again in the middle of the night waking my co-worker.