Your real crime is having friends that would be amused by this. Do you also tie their shoelaces for them?
Almost always some cells in there. Epithelial or white cells. But, in Sopranos, it was just a trick to get the little pissers to confess.
But it won’t be for peeing. It’ll be for failure to capitalize.
nope. no need. they wear velcro shoes 
no passport? shucks now how will i pee on doors around the world?
Would the real CSI folks be able to recover those cells from urine that had been sprayed on a surface such as a school door or a concrete floor?
Of course that would be assuming the police department would have the motivation enough to scramble the crime lab to gather evidence from a rather mild case of vandalism at a high school. I don’t see that happening, but let’s pretend it did.
Even if there was a standing puddle of urine at the crime scene, wouldn’t the cells have to be emulsified in the urine to be recovered?
In the case of urine on porous concrete, the urine partially seeps into the concrete and then begins to evaporate. Those epithelial and white cells are then imbedded in the concrete, right?
How the heck could they recover them?
Plus, that would beg the question about the technicians being able to isolate the those cells from those of any microscopic organisms that might be living in the concrete.
I know the TV show CSI technicians can recover DNA in all types of exotic situations, but the real technicians tend to be bound by all types of practicality.
ummm----I’m a little disturbed by the implicit bigotry displayed here.
Why is everybody assuming that all the pee-ers are male?
Please…you should be embarrassed by such blatent gender bias 
I don’t know about others’ points of view, but I would buy a ticket to see a bunch of women pissing their initials onto the side of a wall. Or even in the snow.
Typically females don’t whip it out and piss in places that offer little cover and concealment.
I was once caught in grid-lock on the Baltimore Beltway and saw a female taking a piss under an overpass.
I honked my horn and jauntily waved at her, she waved back.
There is a good chance it could be done. Though most forensics guys are much more like The Wire than they are CSI, all they really would have to do is separate dried piss from concrete and send it off to a real lab.
So if this gang o hooligans is pursued by a Officer Obie type (“Kid, we found your pee on the lunchroom door handle”…or perhaps Inspector Javert would be a better nemesis), who send in the evidence guys…
procedure
Flood the concrete with saline, scrub it a bit, suck it up, spin it down, decontaminate, PCR w human specific primer to multiply any human DNA fragments exponentially. Compare to Ironic’s DNA (we know you did it too,) and put him on the Sex Offender list and he can never go within a 1000 yards of a school again…
It might work, might not. There might be some PCR inhibitors mashed in the concrete, or a bunch of little shits might have spit loogies on that same spot and the wrong DNA gets amplified… And Ironic55 could always argue that his DNA was there because he got punched in the nose by some mean girl several years before. OJ revisited.
LOL
Fantastic reply!
For some reason I don’t want you to be a real forensic guy; I would prefer it if you are just a very plausible bullshit artist.
I suppose you could be both, so it is cool regardless.
The scholarly you linked was a nice touch because it would take most people several days of reading other material to determine if it did indeed back up your claim.
Great post!
For the record, there’s a simple test you can conduct to determine if you should do something or not: ask yourself “Would Homer Simpson do it?” If the answer is “Yes” then don’t do it. Pissing on school doors fails that test, big time.
Yes. You’re right. I should be, and I am, truly embarrassed.
If I’m not more careful, the next thing you know, I’ll be the subject of a 10-page Pit thread damning me for my misogny.
I heard that! Let me tell you: It ain’t good for your ego. Here you go thinking you’re a reasonable person as regards the other sex and BAM you realize you’re just a shit. Sucks!
I think he’s in the clear. Unless he takes vitamins.
Unless, of course, there were security cameras, which seem ubiquitous these days, and some decides to find them and press charges.
The OP is right, that was a dumb thing to do.
Fortunately, it’s small potatoes dumb, so even if you did wind up on camera odds are reasonable no one will do anything about it. Just keep that in mind for the future: cameras are everywhere these days.
Right, but even then, they usually need a reason to review the film footage.
If all they did was pee on an exterior door, I doubt it would draw enough attention to get someone to go back and fast forward through hours of security camera footage.
However, these days the probably have software that is connected to a motion detector that prepares a highlight clip that the security guy can look at on Monday morning.
If that idea isn’t out there, it should be.