One hears the term International Playboy[SUP]TM [/SUP] frequently but one seldom hears what qualifies a person to be an International Playboy[SUP]TM[/SUP].
If I (and American) had a Canadian girlfriend would that make me an International Playboy[SUP]TM[/SUP]?
Would I need to have an American girlfriend as well?
What if she were French Canadian? Would that have any bearing the matter?
Please list the absoulte bare minimum requirements to be an International Playboy[SUP]TM[/SUP].
I have never, ever heard that term.
You must have a little black book, a nice robe and a pipe.
You can’t order drinks with fruit in them.
Your clothes must be wrinkle free with the zipper up and if you ever, ever grind a gear… you’re right out.
Please list the absoulte bare minimum requirements to be an International PlayboyTM.
Well Jethro, first you gotta be a Double Nought Spy. 
I don’t believe there is an official sanctioning body.
Basically “international playboy” is a euphemism in gossip columns for someone who has no real job or marketable skills, but is able to travel and live fabulously well on family trusts, inheritances and connections.
I don’t know if you’ve gotta be a double nought spy, but there are a few requirements of International Playboyism that tend to go hand in hand with 00 spying. I just don’t believe, however, that one must routinely have the fate of the free world on their hands in order to be an IP.
You will need a near infinite supply of cash, of course. Otherwise, how can you honestly be “international.” You’ve got to be able to travel, and do so in high style.
You should be able to speak all of the romance languages as well as at least one Asian tongue. Japanese, preferably. It comes in handy far more often, IMO.
You should have access to a variety of sexy sports cars. BMW, I believe, is the preference nowadays.
You should be trained in the martial arts. Not any specific discipline, just the generic martial arts.
You must look impeccable in a tux, even after a fierce bout of hand-to-hand combat and a hair-raising car chase. And yes, you should be able to singlehandedly thwart several baddies and drive a car like Mario Andretti even in the most crowded of metroplexes.
Incredible technical knowledge and extreme bravery are also a must. You never know when a woman will need you to hack into her cruel ex-husband’s computer system to release the funds that are rightfully hers, or break down a door to rescue her from a fire, or a dangerous animal of some sort.
And it goes without saying that an International Playboy must be a lover of the highest magnitude of prowess, finesse and technique. If you can’t make a woman swoon from thirty paces solely via a series of looks, gestures and winks, you just aren’t going to make the cut.
Being immune to the effects of alcohol is also important. James Bond, before he became politicallt correct and relatively caring and sensitive, used to frequently make a packet of money in a casino (gambling at Her Majesty’s expense), down half a dozen vodka-martinis, and then proceed to participate in a high-speed car chase on a winding road whilst shooting out of the window, at a moving target, accurately.
And make love all night at the end of it. So if you can’t hold your drink, give up.
Do I have to snow ski? I’ve never been snow skiing but I don’t think I’d like it. I know they hang out a lot in the Swiss Alps but do you actually have to ski?
I can look good in a black turtle neck, which can only help, but actually skiing is not something I look foward to.
And how much really weird food do I have to eat. Can I just order a burger for myself and the braised baboon brain for the lady?
That phrase has a very old-fashioned sound to it nowadays, like “space age” or “jet-set”.
Several hundred million dollars - minimum. With enough cash, you can eat the most pedestrian food in the most posh joints and they’ll adore you for your “down to earth” tastes. Picture yourself having McDonald’s delivered to the baccarat tables at Monte Carlo. If you choose not to ski, the newest fad will be “not skiing” at the trendiest mountains.
All you need is money. With enough of it, nothing else matters on the international playboy circuit.
reminds me of Billy Joel:
Yes, you’ll need money, and quite a bit of it. But never cash per se. Just your signature should be quite enough. And you will need a group of lacheys to do all your mundane chores. You must refer to these people as your ‘staff’.
You’ll also need to recognize a good horse at a glance and identify a fine wine by merely taking one sip and one sniff.
Its a job. But remember, having a business card printed up with ‘international playboy’ on it is out of the question.
Good luck!
You’ll need a girlfriend in every country and/or major city, from France to Casablanca to Assboink, Iowa. They must all look like Anita Ekberg or Monica Vitti or Julie London. And they have to coo admiringly at you while you risk millions at the gaming tables.
Oh, you also need good background music, at all times.
You absolutley must not have a job either (unless that job is secret agent with a license to kill). Nothing will kill an International Playboy[sup]tm[/sup]'s reputation and opportunities to score with the ladies faster than saying 'I’ll have to take a rain check on that all night party/ball/sexathon because I have to be to work pretty early tomorrow."
Only other thing you need is lots and lots o’ cash.
No, no ,no, no, WavyDavy ! :smack: The “help”. A “staff” is for CEOs, Admirals, & Generals; Stars have an “entourage”; International Playboys & Debutantes have “The Help”.
Do not ever get these two skills confused. 
I’m not so sure about that one. I mean shouldn’t you have a girlfriend, with whom you do not share a common language. (except, of course the language of love) I mean wouldn’t one at some point have a leggy blonde say something and the the IP would then say “I’m not even sure what language that is but then again we don’t talk much.”
You also need to have a disguise kit—toupee, fake mustache, sunglasses, touristy wardrobe—because your dashing face is known worldwide, and you may wish do something discrete every once in while. But, you have to continue to use your real name.