Woo Yay to Green Pastures – “Here come de judge! Here come de judge!”
Nope. On an old-fashioned VHS tape!
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg , where a loner drifts into town and works at the local car-mechanic shop, but all the dialogue is sung opera-style. A film from a parallel universe.
I have a copy of Chuck Workman’s Precious Images, a short that won best short for 1985. It took me years to find it. I only found it because my sister was working at the WGA west and happened to mention it to her.
Eat your hearts out…
M. Workman has done a number of similar compilations of film history FWIW.
Powers of Ten (1977) - It starts with a couple having a picnic in a park. As the man lies down on the blanket, the camera looks straight down on him and then pulls back. Way back. The image is a 1:1 aspect ratio, and every ten seconds is a new power of ten; one meter square, ten meters square, etc., all the way to the edge of the universe. Then the camera comes back and does the same process in reverse, zooming in to the nucleus of a carbon atom in the skin on the back of his hand. It’s a brilliant visualization of the scale of things in the universe, made by 20th century renaissance couple Charles and Ray Eames.
Rendezvous (1977) - A man races from one side of Paris to the other for a meeting with his wife in the early morning, filmed in one continuous shot from a camera mounted on the front bumper of a Ferrari. Running red lights, pedestrians scampering out of the way, going on the sidewalk to get around a garbage truck, and top gear on the Champs Elysees; and they actually did it. There were no closed streets, no stunt drivers, no permission. I’ve read that the first time it was shown, the director, Claude Lelouch, was arrested. The movie isn’t quite as good as the stories about it, but the stories are so good.
AELITA, QUEEN OF MARS. It’s a silent film, made in the 1920s in the erstwhile Soviet Union, and a real hoot.
Los, a mad scientist, gets strange messages from Mars. It seems that Aelita, the Queen of Mars, has seen him on her magic visascreen and is smitten. Los builds a ship and sails to Mars with the help of a couple of strapping comrades, but when he gets there, he is horrified to find out that Aelita is an evil capitalist! “Slaves! Robots!” cries Los, “you have nothing to lose but your chains!” The slaves and robots rebel, Aelita is toppled from her throne, and we see the establishment of–I am NOT making this up!–the Union of Martian Socialist Republics! Then it all turns out to be a dream, and Los marries his sweetheart Natasha, who is the opposite of Aelita in every way.
You cannot watch AELITA without being torn in two directions: scorn for the laughably awful plot, and admiration for the production values. The sets and costumes in the Martian scenes are particularly impressive. And Aelita, interestingly enough, wears a gown cut in a manner to suggest that she may have three breasts.
I saw Pi when it was out in the theaters, but only because I’d memorized pi (the number, not the movie) out to 200 digits when I was in high school.
I was disappointed to learn than pi itself had nothing whatsoever to do with Pi the movie.
Irma Vep, a 1996 French movie starring Maggie Cheung.
I freely admit I first saw this movie (in the cinema) because it stars Maggie Cheung in a latex catsuit, but that’s not the only interesting thing.
Maggie, who speaks no French (or at least, “Maggie” speaks no French) plays herself playing Irma Vep in a French movie production that’s going very wrong. It’s a remake of a famous French movie from the silent era, but the director is losing his mind and other members of the cast and crew have assorted personal problems.
Meanwhile, wearing the catsuit has an…effect on Maggie.
My most unusual would be The Alpha Incident, hands down. It’s a Bill Rebane (Monster A-Go-Go / Giant Spider Invasion) rip-off of The Andromeda Strain, The Cassandra Crossing, or any of the other plague outbreak movies. It might be the most ineptly edited film I’ve ever seen. It’s worse than Devil Fish, a film with so many pointly cuts between different scenes it prompted Tom Servo to say “Just because you can edit doesn’t mean you should.”
How bad is the editing? Well, there are a few instances where the screen goes black after the end of one scene, then stays black for several seconds before the next scene starts. In one case, what was supposed to be a dramatic revelation about the effect of the disease on a lab rat was ruined because the screen went to black about three frames after they cut to the dead rat! I had to rewind to make sure I hadn’t imagined it. A brilliant job. :rolleyes:
The only notable actors are John Carpenter regular George ‘Buck’ Flower and Ralph Meeker, who looks sucidally depressed throughout the film. Oh, and the Menards Guy plays an Army General.
The instrumental score was done on a keyboard and includes a few short ‘stings’ which sound like an accidentally played cue during a live theatre preformance. A split second of a sound cue, then silence. Ugh.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?! I would love to have a copy of that on DVD, but I’ve never been able to find a copy!!!
My own odd ones include:
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover
Amazon Women on the Moon
Henry & June
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Crimes of Passion
Faust-A black and white, silent, experimental film by Clive Barker. I have no idea how my friend got me a copy or what the film is about
Blood Harvest-Farms are foreclosing left and right. And a killer is on the loose. And Tiny Tim runs around in clown makeup.
Dr Caligari-Not to be confused with the original silent film Cabinet Of Caligari, or the American remake Cabinet Of Dr Caligari. This film is done in a bizzare expressionist style. One scene involves a patient dressed as a scare crow. As a woman pulls straw from pants that seem empty of any flesh, he moans in ecstasy.
One of the most bizzare films I’ve ever seen and one of the best.
Chronos-An antique dealer discovers an odd piece hidden in the base of a statue. It is something like a Fabrege egg cast in brass and set with a winding handle. The device grants youth and immortality, but at a price. Supporting turn by Ron Pearlman of Beauty And The Beast. Great film.
Horrible Horro-Old horror show host, Zacherle(of Shock Shock Theatre, and the Halloween specials of American Bandstand) discovers his 500 year lease on his castle expires tommorow. He cleans out the basement and shares some marvellous clips. A great tape for parties.
The Blowjob Adventures of Dr. Fellatio Volume 13
I’ll second Bruce Kimmel’s The First Nudie Musical (which not only stars Cindy Williams, but has a cameo of Ron Howard !!!) and raise you:
Starship (AKA The Naked Space AKA THe Creature THat Wasn’t Nice) – another Bruce Kimmel musical extravaganza, again starring Cindy Williams and Mr. Kimmel, but also with Leslie Nielsen (hence “The Naked Space” title, added after “The Naked Gun” came out) and Patrick MacNee (!!) A musical version version of “Alien”, with the musical number “I Want to Eat Your Face”, sung by the Monster as he devours Patrick MacNee.
Kronos – one of the strangest (and arguably best) SF “monster” flicks of the 1950s, about an alien robot who arrives via a meteor-like spaceship to destroy mankind (I think The Iron Giant ripped it off from this film). What really sets Kronos apart is the wonderful art direction – Kronos is a big steel block with minimal unnecessary features, but with considerable style. Made by some of the same folks that made Forbidden Planet.
Atomic Cafe – if you haven’t seen this one, you really should rent it. I saw it this weekend on DVD!
The People – forgotten TV movie based on the SF short stories of Zenna Henderson. It haslliam Shatner.
Robot Monster – arguably the second-worst movie ever made, after Plan 9. The version I have is in the original anaglyphic 3-D!!!. This film also features a score by Elmer Bernstein (who wrote the theme to The Magnificent Seven not long after this.).
Trapped by the Mormons – a 1920s lurid melodrama made in Britain and roundly condemned by the LDS Church. They used to show it once a year at The Blue Mouse art cinema in Salt Lake City. It tells the story of a young British woman seduced into the polygamous harem of a Mormon operating in England, using his hypnotic powers. thoroughly over-the-top. And dead wrong in its depiction of Mormon ceremonies and life.
Picked up solely because of the title from a discount bin:
I’ve never gotten around to watching it, so I can’t vouch for its quality, or lack thereof.
A few that I have; not already mentioned:
Mystery of Rampo, which is an excellent movie about a writer whose new novel (banned by the goverment) gets played out in real life. Kindof weird, but beautiful.
Sex and Zen: Chinese scholar wants to carry on affairs while traveling, but his, uh, equipment is not up to par. So, he gets a transplant (from a horse) and is amazed at his new-found endowment. Wacky exploits ensue. (I also have Yu Pui Tseun, which is a more straightforward telling of the “sex and zen” story, which, based on its popularity, must be an intregal component of Chinese folklore.) Both movies are pretty sexy.
The Seventh Curse: which contains:
– a kung fu martial-arts doctor
– a jungle-dwelling “worm tribe”
– a giant booby-trapped Buddha
– children being crushed to death for blood sacrifice
– a flying brain-eating fetus (“the little ghost”)
– a flying bat-like demon (“Old Ancestor”) that looks suspiciously ripped off from “Alien”
– a blue-eyed skelton (also “Old Ancestor”) that looks suspiciously ripped off from the “Tales from the Crypt” Crypt-keeper
– a couple of gratuitous wet t-shirt moments
– a cute and perky reporter who turns out to be fairly handy with automatic weapons and booby traps because (of course!) she studied Viet Cong tactics in jounalism school
and
– Chow Yun Fat standing around puffing on a pipe the whole movie until he shows up at the end out of nowhere with a bazooka
Shock Treatment, the sequel to Rocky Horror, by mostly the same writers/producers and some actors. I actually like it better than Rocky, but I haven’t found anyone to agree with me.
I like that movie too. I wouldn’t say it’s better than Rocky, but some of the music is damn catchy. I used to own it, but I left it (and several other videos) in a carry-on bag on an airplane 7 or 8 years ago. I think they’re gone.
An Enemy Of The People - taped off TV. The Steve McQueen does Henrik Ibsen film that never got released to theaters. The whole thing looks and sounds like one of those Hallmark Hall Of Fame TV movies from the 70s. Very flat and mediocre, not one of McQueen’s better films.
Hunted By Royal Decree & The Seven Musketeers: The Law And The Outlaw II Two kung fu movies that appear to be shot on videotape with everpresent Chinese subtitles and bizarre dubbing (even for kung fu flicks). Decent stunts, and camera work during action scenes; but the rest of both films look like something out of a Chinese period soap opera. IMDB has nothing about either title or any cast or crew name I’ve entered.
Bullshot! A British spoof from the early 80s of the old Bulldog Drummond series of films (and books) from the 30s. Quite silly, but very enjoyable.
Three Zatoichi movies from the mid 60s. I love these flicks.
My Herzog/Kinski boxed set containing the five films the madmen made together as well as the documentary My Best Fiend. You should have seen me drool when I first laid my hands on it.
Tuckerfan
I got Naked Lunch at Barnes&Noble but they only have it on VHS. When it comes out on DVD I’m sure I’ll have to get it too. Sorry if I misled.
lonelocust
Ya need a bit of … oooh, shock treatment!
Get’cha jumpin’ like a real live wire,
Ya need a bit of … oooh, shock treatment!
So look out mister,
Don’t you go and ask your sister
For the mister that’ll mistify ya
Fy ya
Fy ya
FY YA!