I give backrubs that some people love and others think are too hard. (Personally I think it’s necessary to “feel” the rub.) I’m curious: what are some techniques or hints you’ve learned in giving the perfect backrub? Do you like the chopping motion? Soft or hard rubs? Circular motions or grasping? Help me improve my game.
IMO the absolute most important thing is for the rubber to communicate with the rubbee. Touch compatibility is far too individual a thing. You have to gauge the person’s reactions, and they have to let you know how you’re doing, or it’s probably not going to work out. (Kind of like other aspects of interpersonal relationships, no?) I usually start off pretty gently and probe more intensely until I get some kind of indication that I’ve reached the person’s comfort limits. But as I said, every person is different; what feels great to one person will make another person writhe in agony, and a third person might hardly feel at all. And what works one day on a particular person might get a very different reaction on another day. You might also want to ask the recipient if any particular spot is troublesome. And be careful if they’re ticklish!
An ex of mine is a professional massage therapist, and he heartily endorses this M.O. (Said I gave pretty damn good massages for a nonprofessional, too, if I may say so.)
Happy Ending! 
Eva Luna hit the nail on the head. Start working lightly and as the muscles warm up and the recipient relaxes, feel free to use more pressure as long as your rubee is comfortable. Try to stay off the spine, and go slowly. The slower you go, the deeper you can comfortably go as well.
Which sounds a lot like gatopescado’s idea! 
and make sure you use an oil or butter that both of you like…I had a boyfriend of long ago use something that tried to smell sexy but was some really stinky musky scent that made me almost gag the whole time, I couldn’t wait until he was done so I could go shower it away! My hubby uses something I bought that we both like the smell of [a vaguely light sort of oriental citrusy sort of smell, very faint. It is in an almond oil base]