Shaggy hair, possibly stoner even though I don’t smoke but my eyes are kind of always half closed so I kinda look permanently stoned. Maybe even “college dude” or something if I’m wearing my college attire, even though I’m years past graduation now, hehe.
At our regular brew pub, probably “CPR” for “Crazy Patio Regular” or “3 dogs”.
Nice skinhead or goatee guy that’s a WAG
Capt
Excuse me, but I think our bills got switched accidentally. This place can’t handle two of us. 
Another Hawaiian shirt guy. Probably with fat or bald added.
Foxy mama.
“Table 23”
We’re really boring…
I’ve only ever been “Blue Shirt Guy,” or similar.
I’ve never thought to look for this. If I were serving me I’d go with Ray Bans. If they watch Big Time Rush it would be “Bitters” because unfortunately I look exactly like him.
Beard Guy.
Short Italian guy.
My receipt at a local bar always says “Hottie.” Keeps me coming back.
(I presume they do this to most of the women there, but I appreciate the effort.)
Creepy Hunchback.
The one place I go to that hands out receipts with the “names” on it almost always lists me by my shirt color.
-D/a
Don Vito.
Dyke haircut (if we’re going for offensive)
Channing Tatum.
Tubby and Fatso
Or possibly
w/ ranga kids
I’ve never known this on a bill before, but given my location I’ll gio with chao ang mo or sai qwai loh