What are the waiters secretly calling you on the receipt?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Inspired by this thread.

I’m sure the waitstaff are doing this sort of thing all the time but not getting caught usually and the descriptions not always being unflattering but merely descriptive.

So what do you think is your most discernible feature from a minute-ish interaction? Not necessarily physical, could be your voice, behavioral quirk, stutter, etc.

For me probably, some variation of “Asian guy” since my non-majority ethnicity is most evident from a glance. Or maybe “angry chink”. “Gookie McEyebrows” perhaps? (I have thick eyebrows). I’m just going to assume it’s “Handsome Asian Gentleman who smells nice and is probably great in bed”.

2

“Barry White.”

3

Wilford Brimley

4

Hawaiian shirt guy

5

When I know to look for it, it’s often LH or LHAIR or something similar. I have a remarkable amount of hair.

6

Gimpy bald guy.

7

Loud redhead? More likely “loud redhead with comic book guy”.

8

I’m another LongHair. If I’m alone I’m usually reading, so I might be Bookworm or 4-eyes.

9

Most of the female waitresses put hearts on my receipt next to their name. That’s about it.

10

I actually got “FBI” put on a bar tab in NYC once- to their credit, I do often have people tell me I look like I am a cop, secret service, or security.

11

I must be pretty average-looking, my descriptor is almost always along the lines of “blue shirt” or “striped polo.”

12

Only time I actually noticed this, it was something like “Cigar guy”, as I’d went out onto the back patio to smoke a cigar in the very light rain.

13

If I’m with my SO it might be “2 gay guys” except that wouldn’t distinguish us much from a lot of other parties.

On a business trip it would be “Loner with a book”. 'Cuz I eat by myself, and read.
Roddy

14

“Ugly dude with the escort.”

Because I’m a real ugly dude. And my woman is far to hot to be seen in public with an ugly like me unless I’m paying her.

15

Picky bitch.

16

Hot dad.

17

‘‘Nice lady.’’ I’m nice.

18

Crouton Dude might fit in a lot of places. Cause I ask for a bowl of croutons. Just croutons. And eat them.

If not that, something related to my book. Or if I’m a regular, possibly ‘guy in blue’ because the vast majority of my wardrobe consists of dark blue shirts and pants. Not sure I have any other significantly identifying features.

19

“Glasses and beard”, probably.

20

Friendly redhead or possibly mom w/long haired kid