A big group of friends and I were out tonight and got some really stellar service from a waiter who seemed very oddly nervous the entire time. It was perhaps the single most memorable service I’ve had in a while so I looked him up on Facebook and sent him a message thanking him and apologizing if we did anything to make him feel nervous.
Was this out of line? I am thinking that this might be a bit creepy and all but I hope my good intentions will come through in my message. Needless to say I left a generous tip and a kind note on my receipt, but I still felt bad that something we had done might have made him so nervous!
Yes it was a little stalkery. People usually like to keep public-private separate unless they are using FB for business (and many do this) but a waiter is not normally in that category.
My first inclination if I received a message like that as a waiter is that you are looking to get to know me better on a personal basis, and that could be welcome or unwelcome.
But yes, it was a bit of an awkward and intrusive move.
I guess I was just morbidly curious as to why he seemed so nervous and to let him know that there really wasn’t any reason to be. Maybe he’s new and just needs a confidence boost. Well it’s an out of town thing anyway so hopefully he won’t get creeped out too much by my message. Next time I will direct my compliments directly to management. Still might do it on his case too.
So after being told you’ve already been stalkery/creepy, you think it’s a good idea to intrude into this guy’s life again? Really? Just letting it drop doesn’t seem to be the wiser course?
If you really want to improve his life, write a letter or call the restaurant manager and tell him exactly what an excellent server he’s got there, why he was so good, and that you’ll be returning and referring friends and you want to be served by this dude in the future because it was such an awesome experience. You know how often most servers get a compliment like that? Never.
Definitely creepy. I would not be flattered at all if I were a server and somebody looked up my personal Facebook page. Sending me a message because you thought I seemed “nervous” would not help my comfort level at all, in fact, it would make me feel more anxious-like maybe I need to -never walk to my car alone at night- anxious.
Extremely creepy to do that, especially knowing the waiter was somewhat nervous to begin with. Letting management know would have been the proper course of action originally but at this point you absolutely should not contact them. It doesn’t speak well for you that you’re so obsessed over a waiter that you have to contact everybody about how great a waiter he is. Frankly, if you write the restaurant after sending a private note to the waiter and they put two and two together I wouldn’t be surprised if the restaurant refused to serve you in the future. Yes, it’s really that creepy.
Little did you know, the reason he was nervous was because the night before, some customer had looked him up and left a note on his Facebook page complementing him on his service…
Just because I’m curious but was the inception of your question the waiters response back to you on Facebook calling you a creep? Did you come here seeking condolences that this was a normal thing to do?
There’s a local cafe I go to nearly every Saturday. The waitresses there know me by name and remember what I usually order. I wouldn’t send one of them a message on Facebook unless specifically invited to, so yeah, I have to agree with others that messaging someone who served you once is weird…especially if you were motivated by desire to know why he seemed nervous. It’s none of your business why he seemed nervous, and pointing it out to him probably did nothing to help his discomfort.