Heaven help me; I’m an idiot.
I (a woman) got a friend request yesterday from a guy I knew and dated briefly - for a month or two - some 15 years ago. Already, you know where this is going, don’t you? Of course you do. And in my defense, :dubious: was my first thought, too. I’m very happily married with a kid, as is obvious to anyone finding my profile, so I was just about to block him into oblivion.
Then, I hesitated. I thought, “Maybe I’m being too harsh. After all, we were friends, first and foremost. I was friends with his parents and siblings, too. And it was so long ago; we were really just kids then. I’ve long since outgrown any romantic feelings for him, so perhaps he feels the same way. Perhaps he’s just reminiscing about that time in his life and interested in reconnecting with old friends.”
Like I said, I’m an idiot.
So, I checked out his profile. “In a Relationship with…” Okay, that’s good. Both his profile photo and background photo show him together with the lovely lady. Reassuring. Lots of photos of them together, going back many years, it seems. So far so good. Then, just to be safe, I check out her profile; same deal. Fair enough; it seems they really are together. And he’s living halfway across the globe, so even if he were looking for a side piece, that would be one hell of a booty call. Okay, then. Maybe he really does just wants to reconnect, with no ulterior motive. So I friended him.
Did I mention I’m an idiot?
Just to be absolutely sure, though, I wrote him a message to make my stance on the matter crystal clear. It was along the lines of “Hey, long time no see! How are you? I see you have a beautiful girlfriend (fiancee? wife?) there; that’s awesome! How’s your family, work, etc.? Here’s what I’m up to, blah blah, and as you may have noticed, I’m married to a really great guy, and have a really great kid, and am really, really happy. Talk to you later!” I figured that even if he was putting out a romantic feeler, this would give him the chance to just play innocent.
Yep. Idiot.
He responded, in short - and yes, I know; you saw this coming - “I’m great, my family is great, work is great, and I’ve been with my girlfriend for 10 years, and she’s great… although she’s afraid of commitment and I don’t see us getting married any time soon. In fact, we’re kind of going through a rough patch right now. By the way, you were my first love, and I’ll always have a deep fondness for you. I’ll never forget our time together, and I still have that mixtape you made me. I’m happy that you have someone to love you. That’s the most important thing. Please write to me whenever you want.”
Sigh…
I made him a mixtape?