What are these spiders?

and are they going to eat me alive?

I was planning a little MPSIMS thread or something on finally moving out to my ‘own’ place, but of a more pressing nature are these guys I found hanging around my new back yard.

I’m used to the ‘daddy longlegs’ spiders you usually see around here, but I had no idea spiders could get this big in Alberta. The webs are almost as big across as a trash-can lid, and if they stretched out, they could easily span a toonie. (About 1 1/4" I think, for the rest of you). I think their bodies are kinda fat, but perhaps others wouldn’t think so. They seem to only come out at night (when they make their web and sit in the middle of it), and hide nearby in the daytime. There are at least 7 around the place, and fortunately they haven’t surprised me with a giant spider in the face (yet).

I looked at this page, but AFAIK it could be a Barn spider or an Orb Weaver, so WTF do I know?

Anyone?
P.S. In case you care, they can stay out there doing spidery-things away from me for all I care, and I’ll brush them out of the shed if they go in, but if they somehow make it to the basement they’re meeting Mr. Shop Vac.
P.P.S. - Oh, no internet at my place yet, so I’ll check in… Tuesday?

I don’t immediately recognize the species, although it appears to be some variety of orb weaver. On the other hand, it is neither a black widow nor a brown recluse (the only actually dangerous spiders in the U.S.), so it will neither gather its friends to carry you away in the night (or the next time you try gardening) nor will its (extremely unlikely) bite cause any necrotic inflammation that will require medical care.

Actually, since I now take the time to see that you are rather North of the U.S., I will point out that the brown recluse is a Southern critter and you have even less to fear from them. You probably have black widows around the yard, somewhere, but they are very shy and not aggressive, so you are unlikely to need to fear them, either.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! There are far too many spider threads (with bone-chilling pix) on this board lately! Can’t we talk about fluffy bunnies for a change???

What’s wrong with fluffy spiders?

Nothing. It catches the DW-40 I spray on them very nicely.

Right before I light them.

I’ve seen that one before. It’s called Uglious Mutherfuckerous. You want to use spray and/or predators to rid yourself of those ghastly little pricks.

I don’t know what they are (besides hideous) but I wouldn’t suck them up with your shop vac. What if they’re pregnant or something? You could have thousands of them in there when you empty it! The horror. Keep some spray poison handy.

I like ExTank’s solution. Cuz then you can make marshmallows at the same time.

I’ll do some digging on the spider ID sites but it looks like you have some variety of orb weaver/garden spider. We used to have hundreds of spiders very similar to these out on the miniature golf courses at the amusment park I worked at.

They look impressive, but are harmless. They hide during the day because they make easy targets for birds dangling in the center of their webs. They catch prey mainly by snagging insects in their webs, not much chance of a web lying undisturbed or snagging many flying bugs indoors so you probably will not see much of them inside.

'at’s a garden spider. An orb weaver and an excellent eliminator of flying insects like, well, flies and mosquitoes. And while I have no love of flies and mosquitoes, I must insist that you smash every one of the fell beasties with a rock.

Eh, I just leave them be. Unless their webs are where I want to walk. In that case, I’ll get a stick and relocate them and their webs. They’ll often eat their webs when they’re done with them. (Protein.)

At least, that’s what my Dad always calls them. If they happen to set up a web across his path in the garden, he sets up a roadblock so he won’t accidentally run into it.

They won’t harm you, they are good for your garden. I think these days we have far more to fear from the bugs (and/or arachnids) that we CAN’T see.

You’ve got two types of spiders shown in that group of photos. Most pictures are of some type of Orb Weaver garden spider. The picture labeled “side.jpg” is a shot of some type of Funnel Spider (not the deadly type from Australia, but our own home-grown far less dangerous beastie).

My room used to be infested with spiders. Mostly fairly small ones, and at least one really really big one that apparantly lived under a pile of clothes I never picked up ( :eek: ). Found most of them while I was packing up my room when I moved out.

As far as I can tell, the fact that the back door to the house (located conveniently in my bedroom) which never sat right in the frame and had a gap at the bottom big enough to let you see what brand of shoes anyone on the back porch was wearing, meant it was a highway for bugs to get into the house, and thus a virtual smorgasborg awaiting for the spiders.

As a rule, I didn’t bother with the spiders much until I moved out, since they DID see to it that I didn’t have to worry about any bugs in my room except ants.

Then again, I didn’t know about the HUGE FREAKING COW EATING SPIDER UNDER MY PILE OF CLOTHES :eek:

Also, some of you Dopers might remember the thread I posted last year about the spider I found in my shower while I was singing and washing my hair. :eek:

Cool - thanks everyone. They can stay there then, and I’ll just mow the lawn quietly to avoid the ire of the black widows. :wink:

Ooooh! That explains why there’s a spider in a giant web when I come in at night, and almost no web left in the morning when I leave.

Renee: I empty it fairly frequently after spider-duty. Still, thousands of spiders in my shop-vac are waaaay better than thousands of spiders in my basement.:eek: