“Are you saying that humans and whales can’t hang out together, officer? I’m deeply offended by your speciesist attitudes. Trust me when I say your superiors will be hearing about this!!”
V.
[To whale] What?!! You’re a whale?!
Why oh why can’t people see past my birth defect?
Technically, officer, the killer whale, or orca, is in the dolphin family.
Drop it on the floor, listen for a heartbeat, and yell, “Is there a cetologist in the house?”
Just gettin’ some tail!
She said she had a killer tuna recipe…
That’s no whale, that’s my mother-in-law! (Rimshot)
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.
Can’t talk, my apartment is infested with seals!
My wife called from her cell phone and told me to get shamu and conditioner.
Oh my god, I stopped by the Arco to use the bathroom and forgot to return the key.
1)Sarcastic: We were just having a whale of a good time
2)Obvious:We stole it! duh… stupid pig
3)innocent:Oh, you mean not everybody gets one of these?
4)stupid:He must have followed us here
5)Angry:Get your own whale Captain Ahab!!
nothing officer, but what would the whale do without me?
well officer, There’s a family of eskimos in the flat above that are feeling homesick.
My favorites so far:
From lurkernomore - well, I wasn’t doing too good with the ladies, and I had a few, and by closing time this whale started to look good…
From Wanderer - Well see I was drowning and he said if he rescued me I had to take him drinking.
From Rysdad - Do a very bad ventriloquist imitation and make the whale say, “Well, he ain’t slim, but that’s no reason to call him names.”
From DRY - “The sheep heard my zipper.”
From Sealemon88 - I heard he was a humpback, if ya know what I’m saying.
The next three ar from Narile - INS, this whale is in the country illegally, we are here to send it back to its father.
Guido’s response - Horse heads just don’t work for Mr. Coustaeu.
MPatHG - Well, you see there is this castle, and the giant wooden rabbit didn’t work… Ni!!!
Thanks everybody, I’ll let you know when I get them on my homepage.
Well, officer, have you ever done it with a blow hole?
I’m so glad you’re here, Officer – Arrest this whale, it’s a Killer!
Indignant: “Officer, that is no way to address my wife!”