What are your Favorite Unsubstantiated Theories!

I’m creating this post in honor of tremorviolet. Below you can see the text of her post from within another thread where she suggested this. As it appears that she’s off galavanting around the skies at the moment, I might as well run with the idea. I’ll let her theory lead off…

Now for mine, which coincidentally is very similar to hers.

I have this working theory that part of the obesity problem is a result of people wearing coats in any weather remotely chilly. That people bundling up their kids, whether the child claims to be cold or not, contributes to them becoming overweight. Kids have high metabolisms, it’s logical that they my not be cold when you are. By bundling them in the cold I believe that it slows the metabolism in the child because they have no need to generate their own body heat. I’ve theorized that when you’re an adult similar logic applies. That being cold and forcing your body to shiver a little and to create its own heat will augment the calories burned in a given day, making you thinner.

I have since come to the thinking that there is a hole in this theory, that cultures who live in the far north have a higher natural body fat percentage to act as insulation. Therefore, perhaps, people who follow my advice and don’t bundle will eventuallty shift to become “insulated” by extra fat…who knows.

There you have it.

Go ahead and post your own wacky, unsubstantiated theory. We’re notreally in the business of debunking or proving them here, so lets not hijack it too much by debunking these things. Let’s just spill those weird conclusions you’ve come to on your own that may or may not be shaping your life!

That an ancient, highly advanced world civilization was destroyed by a comet impact in prehistoric times.

The superstitions surrounding comets since then are, therefore, not just the vague uneasiness as a result of seeing something odd in the sky, but rather based on the shadowy memory of this terrible event in the remote past. In fact, it was so long ago that none of the details are remembered, but the comet remains an object of dread.

Ha, your comets don’t scare me.
I have a theory, that all brontosauruses are very, very small on one end, then much, much larger in the middle, then small again on the other end.
[/Anne Elk]

I don’t think either of these theories is wacky, but I’ll post anyway.

First, I believe that the general decline in civility and personal responsibility is directly attributable to afternoon talk shows. People get up on those shows and talk about the most intensely private things in their lives, and then are told either: (a) you’re a bad person for what you’ve done, or (b) it wasn’t your fault for what you’ve done.

Second, I believe that books are real, and that whenever I put a book down, the characters are stuck wherever they are, doing whatever they’re doing, until I pick the book up again. For example, last night I read some before going to bed. One of the characters was having an asthma attack at the end of a chapter (where I would have stopped to go to sleep). Although I was tired, I continued reading so that he would not have to be stuck having an asthma attack all night while I slept.

Nah, all the ones I’ve seen have been built the other way round. :stuck_out_tongue:

Oooo, I like this one, too! I also like to think that stories of what will happen at the end of the world (Ragnarok, Revelations, etc) come from this event.

I like the parallel universe theory of quantum mechanics- basically, every time more than one thing could possibly happen, the universe splits into different universes covering each possibility (for example, if you flip a coin, two universes are created, one in which it comes up heads, and one for tails). I often wonder what the other me’s in some of those universes are doing now.

I’d be inclined to go along with that one. I would never dream of going on a talk show like Jerry Springer or even one of the more “civilized” ones like Dr. Phil. I can’t imagine getting up in front of millions of people and spilling my guts about my personal problems. And I can see where the overall decline in civility and personal responsibilty can be traced (in a way) to the popularity of these types of shows.

I like the one that says (something to the effect) that ideas are metaphysical entites (note, this is different from meme theory) and that they can be caught like fireflies, if you’re in the right place at the right time and you sieze them just right. This has been offered as an explanation for various odd synchronicities such as simultaneous inventions and things like classified D-Day codenames appearing in a newspaper crossword.

That there is an old man in the sky who watches over everything you do and who punishes you if you’re bad and rewards you if you worship him.

I mean, how could anyone fall for that one?

I have this working theory that part of the obesity problem is a result of people wearing coats in any weather remotely chilly.

I never thought much about coats, but too many/too thick blankets on the bed always struck me as a missed opportunity to burn calories. Same with Joe executive who is wearing an undershirt, a dress shirt, a vest, and then a freakin’ suit coat. This in the same building where I am overwarm in ONLY a shirt. (can’t even stand the undershirt).

Anyway, I agree that metabolism IS a trainable, and rather unstable thing.

I believe that that National Basketball Association is “fixed” because referees seldom call fouls on superstars in the 4th quarter of important games. Refs were loath to call fouls on the Bird Celtics or the Johnson Lakers during the 1980s (except when they were playing each other) and through the Jordan 1990s up to the present Shaq era.

Is this the same dude that brings me stuff on Christmas?

That there were other, pre-Human sentients on Earth, whose civilizations were wiped out in the mass extinctions/cometary impacts.

I’m not one of the tin foil hat types but…I kinda lean towards Roswell being the site of an actual UFO crash and much of our current electronic technology being the procuct of reverse engineering.

Not as much a theory as a constant-silver-lining feeling. I fully believe that although bad things happen to me, they pretty much teach me something that I will use later. So, although bad things happen, they open my mind more and more, and are pretty much necessary in my life.


I think our whole concept of “the universe” is inside-out. What we know as the convex surface of the earth is actually the concave surface of the **inside **of a sphere. When we look “up,” we’re actually looking toward the center of that sphere, which is, of course, the center of the universe. The moon, for example, orbits a certain distance within the surface of the earth; the sun and planets orbit somewhat further in, etc. And when we dig “down” into the earth, we’re actually digging outward.

The reason the non-earth “universe” seems so vast is that time and space slow down as they approach the center; so all those galaxies are extremely compressed in both space and time. And gravity is pulling everything toward the center, making things speed away from us, causing red shift.

The earth, on the other hand, is actually beneath the surface in all directions, containing concentric spheres of crust, magma, etc., and is actually expanding outwardly, creating new space and time. The “center” of the earth is equidistant from the surface, in all directions.

Of course, because of all the compression and expansion, we erroneously think the universe is actually the opposite of what it really is.

Wyoming doesn’t exist. Seriously (well, not seriously, but you know). Think about this: Ever been there? Didn’t think so. Ever even met someone from Wyoming? Me neither.

:: waits for Wyoming Dopers to chime in ::

I have a pet theory that a rise of extremism on one side gives rise of opposite and relatively equal extremism on the other. To illustrate: Islamic fundamentalism vs. Christian Fundamentalism, aggressive communism in the former USSR after WWII vs McCarthyism in the US.

Also, I believe that the tendency toward imperialism is a constant. If the US wasn’t imposing western values and political structures on the world at large, then some other bully would be trying to push their agenda. Given the current options of possible imperialist regimes, I think we’re all very fortunate that it is the US leading the charge. Of course, this too shall pass but not any time soon. Rome isn’t burning just yet. Put your fiddles away.

The war on Iraq was a consequence of several motives:

  1. Strong(er) American presence in the Middle East in an effort to strangle the growing tide of Islamic extremism
  2. EU economy busting by making the German and French agreements and rights to Iraqi oil extraction null and void. Thus helping America’s friend (UK) the strongest, though reluctant, partner in the EU. Also, hitting the French and German economy where it hurts and putting a real crimp in their heavy industrial economy which relied on the oil contracts.
  3. Because every now and then, even a benevolent world power, must show it’s strength lest it be mistaken as weak and ineffective.
    Red bicycles are at least 3 or 4 miles per hour faster.

People who avoid intimacy and commitment are the same people who don’t get along with cats.

All the Irish that came over in the potato famine moved to Idaho. I could probably just look that one up, but then I wouldn’t have anything interesting to say at parties.