"Number 3 the sides and spike the top…as for my sideburns, leave it as it is…make it a little pointy…don’t worry, it won’t grow out much…I’m asian 
"
Reoch
What are your instructions to the barber?
I look in the mirror and say, “yep, I need a cut”. Doesnt anybody cut their own hair anymore?
dead0man
for some reason, the venerable Venn Diagram sent me into hysterics…heh…oh, man…
as for me, “a little off the top, short on the sides, taper in the back” (when in the big city)
or
“The usual, Mike” (when in my hometown, getting a cut from the same guy who’s cut my hair for 21 years…)
“Take a #2 attachment and cut the same length all over.”
I’ve had my hair cut this way for the last 5 years at the same place and they ALWAYS ask, “Are you sure?”
YES!
I don’t go to barbers but about once a month wile in the shower I flip my hair over my head and lop off about an inch to get rid of split ends. I don’t use any gels or sprays, I don’t even use a blow drier, just towel till it stops driping and let it air dry. And wile at work I keep it in a ponytail to keep it outta my face.
“Off the collar - off the ears.”
I no longer have to say “thin the top”, sigh.