[QUOTE=BobLibDem]
Queerios for Cheerios
Cocoa Shitties for Cocoa Crispies
Alpha Shits for Alpha Bits
Yucky Farts for Lucky Charms
Cocoa Poops for Cocoa Puffs
Faggotos for Spaghettios
Penis Butter for Peanut Butter
[/QUOTE]
I’m glad I don’t shop at your grocery store!
Home Despot
Best Buy I refer to as “Worst Buy”
My motto for CompUSA, when they were still around, was “Why pay less?”
[QUOTE=Leaffan]
Strangely enough, none. Not sure why, but these are businesses that you are free to visit or not. Believe me, they would not be in business if they deserved a degrading moniker.
You think you sound savvy calling Pizza Hut, Pizza Slut?
[/QUOTE]
My use of degrading names has nothing to do with whether I like or dislike the business. I call it Pizza Slut, and I like their pizza! (This is not to say that I like every business for which I have a nickname, however.)
WalMart = Mall Wart
Shop-n-Save = Slop-n-Slave
Rite Aid = Wrong Aid
And in homage to the dialect of my home state…
Michael’s = Mackles
Party on Garth. 
LOL 
Best Buy = Greatest Purchase. It’s more formal that way.
Menards = Either “My Nards” or just “Nards.”
K-Mart = K-muh-part
Golden Corral = Golden Showers. I got that from a friend who decided to stop calling that for the inevitable slip-up in front of the wrong audience.
[QUOTE=MikeG]
Sheets N’ Shit for Linens N’ Things
[/QUOTE]
I am totally stealing that!
Linen and Thugs
Pantera Bread
K. Roger or Ghetto Kroger, depending on location
Bob Evans was known as “the Bob” around our house. A fond nickname. We ate there so much that the last name seemed too formal.
My hometown newspaper, of which I was the editor for a time in the 1990s, is the Journal-Advocate. It’s long been called the Urinal-Aggravate.
History Channel is Hitler Channel
Luftansha is Luftwaffe
The Atlanta Constitution is the Constipation
==forgot==
The much-missed People’s drug stores were always pronounced “Peee Opp Po leaze” in my house as a kid.
[QUOTE=Hockey Monkey]
Taco Bell = Taco Hell
Pizza Hut = Pizza Slut
Waffle House = Awful Ho (the one on Hillsborough St had some letters burned out a la AFFLE HO _ _)
Wal Mart = Wally World
Target = Tarjzay
Raleigh News and Observer = the News and Disturber
Chik-Fil-A = Chick
I’m sure there are more, but the brain refuses to rotate them to the top of the pile.
[/QUOTE]
What she said. I was involved in a drunken brawl at that Waffle House. Fun times.
Tarzhay
Taco Hell
Stop and Plop
Trader Schmoo’s
Pizza Smut
the Thai restaurant in the old IHOP building is Thai-Hop
Starbucks is Evil Empire Coffee
And every feed and seed is “Sneed’s, formerly Chuck’s”
Pak & Save = Sack & Pave
The all-night hamburger stand (Kwik-way?) is the Scarf ‘n’ Barf
I used to call ALL grocery stores the “Park & Shop & Pik & Pak & Pay & Save”
Oh yes, and Grocery Outlet is Gross Out! (affectionately)
[QUOTE=dwc1970]
Gayco car insurance- same reason, plus their incessant advertising on TV.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=BobLibDem]
Queerios for Cheerios
Faggotos for Spaghettios
[/QUOTE]
Do these bother anyone else or am I just being overly sensitive? Gay and queer are not okay to use in a derogatory manner, and faggot is over the line.
I don’t really have any nicknames that are derogatory. I occasionally say La Boutique Targét or Linens ‘N’ Whatnot, and for the combo drive-through restaurants I often use names like The Kentucky Fried Taco Hut or Pizza Bell, but that’s just to distinguish them from a standalone KFC or Taco Bell.
I’ve worked at more than one of the businesses mentioned in this thread (and I still work at one), and none of us ever called it any of these names. I daresay we’d have more reason to hate the places than the customers.
One local place, a little hole in the wall independent record store called Sweet Hickory, I call “The Claws.” OK, so, like, Sweet Hickory = hicks, so like, hicks equals Deliverance, ass-rape, equals rapiers, so, fencing, and fencing equals fences so like, Tom Sawyer, so, Mark Twain, so Mark = Marksmanship, which equals a ship, and Mark is also like, Mark Pi’s restaurant (a local Chinese Restaurant), so like, a Chinese Ship, equals a Junk, so junk equals trash, and they had a “trash holiday,” in other words, the trash collection was a day late because the sanitation department had a day off, so holiday, Christmas, Santa Claus = claws.
Red Lobster -> Dead Lobster
Internet Explorer > Internet Exploder. (I can laugh since I never have to use it.)
Northwest Airlines -> Northworst. But not Southwest.
In the old days Alleghany Air was called Agony air by my poor friends from PA who had to use it.
Even streets can get renamed. When I was growing up in Queens the LIE was called the Long Island Distressway, and I call Automall Parkway near me Autostall Parkway.
[QUOTE=Argent Towers]
One local place, a little hole in the wall independent record store called Sweet Hickory, I call “The Claws.” OK, so, like, Sweet Hickory = hicks, so like, hicks equals Deliverance, ass-rape, equals rapiers, so, fencing, and fencing equals fences so like, Tom Sawyer, so, Mark Twain, so Mark = Marksmanship, which equals a ship, and Mark is also like, Mark Pi’s restaurant (a local Chinese Restaurant), so like, a Chinese Ship, equals a Junk, so junk equals trash, and they had a “trash holiday,” in other words, the trash collection was a day late because the sanitation department had a day off, so holiday, Christmas, Santa Claus = claws.
[/QUOTE]
That’s like, um, fifteen degrees of separation or summat innit? I admire your energy and creativity and all of that, I think.
Geek Squad = Weak Squad
Norton Internet Security = Norton Infection
Little Ceasars Pizza = Little Seizures
Our favorite local Thai restaraunt = Flaming death
My old ambulance company Med*Stat = Mud Splat
Another ambulance company in a neighboring county Riggs Ambulance = Piggs Ambulance. (The great thing was the lettering was done in lines 2" wide, so a quick 5" strip of 2" wide cloth medical tape could turn Riggs into Piggs on all sides in like 15 seconds.
American Ambulance for a while after a series of accidents involving their ambulances (IIRC 4 in 2 weeks) was prounonced “Screeeeech …crunch” and American crews with undamaged ambulances were regularly asked how many days ago the company bought it.
[QUOTE=Valgard]
Best Buy I refer to as “Worst Buy”
[/QUOTE]
I’m sorry you are both wrong. The correct name as coined by my son is Adequate Purchase as in it wasn’t a best buy, but is was an adequate purchase.
Since “ci” can only be written with the shi character in Japanese, Citibank pretty much nicknames itself among the gaijin community.
Slightly off-track, but my husband and I once drove past a small diner that was advertising ‘eggs and bacon on toats’. From then on, we have had toats for breakfast.
My husband also insists on referring to Hugh Jackman as Huge Ass Man.