Without facts and evidence, there is no reason to assume an Uzi would not be effective.
As the condition is fictional, I guess we’ll never know.
However, I base my beliefs on what facts do exist, namely that the myths were started and popularized in times when things like guns weren’t even imaginable. A typical peasant could have no hope of single-handedly taking down a werewolf, just as a typical peasant could have no hope of single-handedly taking down a wolf. What made the werewolves so fearsome was that, unlike a normal wolf, they were far more aggressive and hostile, they preyed on humans rather than avoided them, and they were the result of unexplainable, heretical magic.
Suspending disbelief to assume that they do exist, and answering the question in that respect, I still believe typical modern day weaponry (or the aforementioned wood chipper or tractor trailer) would be effective. Again, no legends, to my knowledge, describes them as having a physiology that regenerates massive trauma. Thus, an automatic weapon ripping 30 holes through internal organs, or a large caliber weapon blasting huge holes in their hide should prove as fatal to a lycanthrope as it would any other living, breathing creature.
No, no, for heaven’s sake, NO! The ribs must be fresh and *thoroughly uncontaminated * in order to effectively serve as a barrier to werewolves! The succulent aroma of their savory deliciousness releases specific chemicals which cause the werewolf to spontaneously evaporate, in some fashion. Everyone knows that! Any taint or impurity whatsoever would inevitably bring destruction and calamity down on you, your friends and loved ones, and your children even unto the seventh generation. For God’s sake, think of the children!
Similarly, any sort of additional “trap” or “snare” in the vicinity of the sweet, sweet ribs is thoroughly unnecessary, and in fact could catastrophically affect the local feng shui, possibly resulting in plagues of poison arrow frogs or herpes. There’s no need to gild the lily. Trust the power of the ribs!
*“WUFF” is, of course, an acronym for “Werewolf Universal Fact Finder,” a title which certifies me as a professional authority on the subject of ribs. And werewolves. My expertise is therefore utterly unassailable.
That and for security reasons. I’d hate to have a rube goldberg device sabotaged by an inside job. Nothing personal. Everyone has to eat the chocolate for that kind of work.
Well, pardon me. But, now that you bring it up—don’t get me wrong, I’m not doubting what you’re saying, but I don’t have the info on hand myself—how far did the “fey hate Iron” tradition range? Western Europe? All o’ Europe? Worldwide since the dawn of man?
How about biological warfare? Like Canine Parvovirus, or rabies? (Granted, a rabid werewolf wouldn’t be that great a thing to have around, but at least there’s the chance it might kill it. Maybe.)
Failing that…how about chemical weapons? I’m talking nasty, heavy-duty, Hague Convention-banned stuff. Like a nice VX/Arsine cocktail with a sulfur mustard chaser.
Or you could track down the werewolf’s human form, and bash with a rock. Not very theatrical, but hey, it’s not much worse than how Dracula died.
Wow, this is great stuff. I’d always heard that silver was the surefire way to kill it, and therefore assumed (wrongly, I see) that it was the ONLY way to kill it.
Mmm, ribs.
Would buffalo wings do in a pinch? Or if it’s a young werewolf?
Why go to the extremes for finding such deadly concoctions? If a werewolf is vulnerable to silver, and that vulnerability includes touch, the most effective chemical agent, I’d think, would be a super-soaker, with silver nitrate in it. And a few waterballoons for area defense. Whenever possible, wouldn’t it be better to use a defense that does minimal damage to oneself, or requires minimal precautions, than go for wizard weapons?
You forgot about the mages. A mage with the right spheres and who can withstand some Paradox backlash can deal out some nasty effects:
Forces: your basic D&D-style fireball or lightning bolt, or lasers or high-energy plasma if you are a tech-oriented mage
Matter: conjure up a bunch of acid or silver on the spot, both of which do aggravated damage
Life: turn the werewolf into a frog, make him weak and slow, or at high levels just attack the life force directly
Time: cancel the werewolf’s extra Rage turns, or give yourself extra turns, or even both
Lob a five-foot neutronium sphere at it and cackle with glee as it plates itself evenly over the surface of something with a few kilo-G’s of surface gravity. (The mechanics of the actual lobbing is left as an exercise for the student.)
Spray it with antimatter and disassemble it sub-atomic particle by sub-atomic particle. Anything that can destroy a General Products hull will chew up a werewolf and burp appreciatively.
Tangle it up in loops of shadow square wire or Sinclair monofilament and cut it into a million pieces.
Shoot it with a Slaver digging tool or a flashlight laser set to high and narrow.
Point a tnuctip total-conversion beam at it, preferably from an adjacent horizon.
Why yes, I have read a lot of Larry Niven. Is it obvious?
Hmmm… might could work. There are definite chemical similarities. It’s certainly worth a try, although I suspect that a mixture of buffalo and teriyaki wings in a 3:1 ratio might give slightly better results. And a side order of mozzarella sticks couldn’t hurt.
In 3rd, that only works within 3 days of infection, and only with a 12th level cleric. Otherwise, you need remove curse or break enchantment during the full moon, and the werewolf must WANT to be cured. (it can voluntarily fail it’s saving throw if it wants to stay infected.)
Plus that only works on infected werewolves. There’s also the natural kind, which aren’t diseased at all.
Ranchoth
It wasn’t ‘The Sidhe hate iron’ in other regions, just ‘Iron is a defense against the unnatural’.
Sturmhauke
Re Mages
I haven’t read any of the new books, but back before the world ended werewolves did not trigger paradox. You also left out my favorite sphere, Mind.
Mind- The werewolf is your friend and doesn’t want to attack you. The werewolf wants to attack your enemies. The werewolf forgets how to use any of his powers. The werewolf forgets he’s a werewolf. The werewolf suffers from psychosomatic blindness or loss of other senses. The werewolf just stands there and sings Werewolves Of London.
