When I was younger, my mother had a typewriter where, to change the font, you would take out the wheel with the letters on it and pop in a new one. She had a basic font, a bold, an italic and one that was fancy and script-like. If you could find eleven of those old font-wheels over the next year, you could send her eleven types of typing.
I’m not sure that the lard would work as well as beef suet for the birdseed. The reason is that beef fat at room temperature is still pretty solid stuff, pork fat is not… very soft and or semi liquid. Lard is good stuff for making pastries, biscuits, cornbread, cakes, fried chicken and turkey ect… the health nazis gave it a bad rap but sometimes nothing else works quite as well or tastes as good. 40 pounds of it IS alot though, maybe you could donate it to a homeless shelter?
Let’s try these…instead of 11 pipers piping:
six cars parked out front with wipers on, one car only has one wiper, so you have = 11 wipers wiping.
11 friends all complaining about things - 11 gripers griping?
11 dirty diapers in a see through bag = 11 diapers riping?
11 people with keyboards…11 typers typing?
Is your lard fresh or used?
If used, make Biodiesel:
heat the lard until it’s liquid, and pour in methanol and lye.
mix until fully dissolved.
wait awhile.
siphon out the glycerine/sodium methoxide at the bottom.
You now have a high-cetane, non-toxic fuel for your diesel engine.
I remember some comedian/singer that sang his own renindition of the 12 days of christmas.
"on the first day of christmas my true love sent to me
a japanese transister radio"
Wish I could remember who did it and what the rest of the words were.
Love what your doing.
Sculpture.
Stana Claus–that’s a very creative gift tradition. I’m impressed and amused.
About the lard–I would think that, given your user name, you would immediately recognize that the obvious use of 40lbs of lard is to EAT IT and thereby more closely resemble the jolly, bearded, most famous gift giver of all.
Great idea racinchikki. I think the old IBM Selectric (sp?) typewriters had different font heads. I don’t know if they made 11 different varieties, though. But it’s sure worth looking into.
And Dmark, the 11 diapers riping thing would certainly add a new spin on the term “gag gift”! But since she has made a display of all this stuff in the corner of her living room, it might be a bit much. But do keep the ideas coming - you’re getting the hang of it.
So, Ginger, how many pies and/or tarts can I put you down for?
lokij, I understand about the temperature thing, but I was thinking of storing it in a freezer and only putting it out for the birds during the winter. Around here I think the winter temps will stay sufficiently cold to keep the lard solidified. Come springtime the birds won’t need the high-fat diet so much anymore.
Enola Straight, the lard is currently fresh but could possibly become used. Would it really matter in the making of fuel? I am intrigued by your idea, though. I wonder if my diesel tractor would run well on it.
And Pablito, sadly enough I don’t need that much help to resemble my namesake. My physical characteristics coupled with my RL name are what earned my this moniker in the first place. 
yola, ask and ye shall receive. Was this the one you were thinking of?
http://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/twelve_gifts_of_christmas.htm
SC
That was comedian Alan Sherman. We had the LP when I was a child.
I remember that the fifth day was “A lady with a clock where her stomach ought to beeeeeeeee”
Stana, pop over to www.staples.com. They have lots of typing elements.
40 pounds of lard? Biscochitos. Lots and lots of biscochitos. And when you’re done making them, send me some.
What to do with 40 lbs of lard?
Steven Seagal’s last movie showed us that he has found a use for it.
My hometown!!! I thought I recognized you, AskNott! 
Okay. I thought this was just a very bad pun. But I can see it’s real.
Carry on.
Robin
I can’t believe anyone else hasn’t said this, unless I forgot how to read which is a strong possibility with me…
“Call a heart specialist.”
Contact the British Lard Marketing Board. They will know!
You could always ask Ukulele Ike, who was faced with a similar situation two years ago.
Put a nipple on it.
Better yet, go to the bookstore and get her 11 books by people bitching about what’s wrong with the world: i.e Rush Limbaugh. You should be able to find plenty on the discount tables, so it shouldn’t cost you much.
If you’ve never had it, fried turkey is one of the greatest things ever. We’ve used lard for that before.