I apparently missed the entire musical taste program, because growing up I have never been into any band before.
There was apparently a shortage of drink upgrades, as I have never developed a taste for coffee, alcohol, or even soda.
I also missed the memory implant that gave you the names of various types of cars and what they look like. You show me a car and the best I could tell you is what color it is. Even in elementary school everyone else was discussing whether they’d want a Toyota or a Lexus or whatever, but I still have no idea how people can tell. They all look the same to me.
I missed the one that was supposed to turn me into a giggly girly-girl. I like to cook and I can keep the house presentable, and I can nurture like nobody’s business, but I’m missing the prissy girly-girl gene. I don’t spend hours on my hair and make-up, I don’t squeal and giggle, I hate pantyhose, I don’t have a weird obsession with stupid kiddy cartoon characters, and I don’t wear tons of jewelry.
I’m most comfortable in jeans and boots, I keep my hair simple or in a ponytail, I wear a minimum of makeup and jewelry, and I can drive a stick.
Completely missed the one about getting up early on weekends and doing work around the house. That was forced on me as a child but without the enforcers around, it didn’t stick. I’ll sleep in until I’m bored to tears, thank you very much.
I also missed the upgrade where you stop eating junk food and watching cartoons.
And somewhere, at some time, all of my friends must have gotten a lecture explaining how to flirt with women, and I must have been sick that day. I know it when I see it and I can tell when someone is being hit on, but it’s not something that comes naturally to me at all. (I suppose that’s just the tip of the iceberg, since I’ve never really had a serious relationship, but that’s a whole other story.)
I think a lot of this stuff just sort of happens if you force it to happen.
Making the bed really doesn’t serve any purpose other than aesthetics, but it’s your private bedroom and even most guests won’t see it if you have our bedroom door shut. It’s like almost like worrying about what the roof of your mouth looks like.
As it is though, I make my bed every day. Why? Habit, routine. Spend years in the military it just becomes what you do when you wake up every day. Most people with good personal hygience wake up and brush their teeth every day. After awhile it becomes automatic. That’s sort of what happened with bed making. I think a lot of “childhood” upgrades in general can be attained by being coerced into a routine. However I think most people have to have some sort of authority that’s really pushing them hard into that routine, because a lot of people simply don’t see the reason nor have the desire to do this stuff on their own. If I had never joined the Army my bed would probably be unmade right now.
Coffee and beer are similar to me. Both have sort of a bland/bad flavor and taste. I’ve never “adjusted” to coffee because I keep caffeine out of my body as best as I can. But with beer… I started to drink it when I was 18 or so. It didn’t taste good, at all. It made me sort of “blegh” when I’d drink it. I did find I like getting drunk, though. So I’d tough through the nasty taste to get drunk. Eventually after a year or so the taste is still nasty, but you’ve grown so used to it you don’t really react to it. You’re aware it’s really not a great tasting beverage but you’ve come to accept it and it really doesn’t effect you in any meaningful way.
I sort of suffer some of the problems with vegetable upgrades though. And it seems to me vegetables are immune to the routinization cure. From the childhood world tomatoes are sort of a “vegetable” because they seem to hang out with the vegetables, and they’re something most kids don’t like. I simply do not like tomatoes on a sandwich. I feel there is virtually no sandwich that is enhanced by a big overly-moist piece of fruit being slapped on it. I’ve tried to force the tomato issue but it’s just so “wrong” texture-wise for me that I never can force down a whole sandwich with tomato. I do theorize that if I was kidnapped and forced to eat sandwiches with tomatoes on them I’d not have any problem after a few weeks. I also still think once I was released I’d probably not like tomatoes but I’d not be bothered by them and could without any problem eat a sandwich with a tomato on it.
I missed out on the one that bestows an instantaneous subconscious translation between month numbers and month names; I have to perform the translation consciously nearly every time. Likewise the numbers of days in each month; oh, I know there’s a rhyme, and a way you can do it with your knuckles, but remembering those methods seems like it would be no easier than simply remembering the number of days in each month.
Found my manual, and realize that there is more, much more…
Definetly was out sick the day the rule was explained about “you are related by blood to these people, so you must care what happens to them, forever.” (talking extended family)
I also was overlooked for the coffee is a great way to start your day. Ditto for most every cocktail ever invented. And fancy desserts–how does one top ice cream, pray? Caviar–all I can say is why?
I also am deficent in the phone numbers department–and email addys. Some phone numbers I memorize instantly, others I will always have to look up. There is no discernible pattern–so I have to write them all down.
I missed the bit about as a woman, you are supposed to care terribly about the appearance of your hair, nails, hose, accessories. I’m not talking about the fashion challenged, I’m talking about those who get a nick in their nail polish or a hair out of place and freak about it. This still happens to friends of mine…
Huh, I missed the “You’re married, you’re not supposed to have giggly crushes on cute men I see all the time” patch. Luckily, the Fidelity program came as part of the initial package, and crushes don’t ever go farther than giggling.
I missed the “How to be a presentable woman” patch. I can recognize it when women look good, but I can’t seem to pull myself together fashion-wise unless I buy something right out of a store right off the display. I can’t seem to find clothing that’s flattering, and I can’t figure out make-up to save my life. I have pretty great hair and nails, though, so something did come through, but they’re just parts of the whole.
I actually don’t think some of these are “childhood upgrades” that you missed out on. Lots of people like sports, more than likely maybe your dad liked sports, so when you grew up and didn’t like them, you think you’ve missed an upgrade. But there have always been some adults who like watching sports, and some who do not. It’s more of a personal taste thing, not something there is this general “expectation” that adults will do.
For example my dad loved sports, as something to do. He was involved in coaching and church softball leagues for years. But to him sports were something you did, not something you watched. In my entire youth about the only sporting event he would ever watch was the Super Bowl, and I think that mainly because it was such a cultural phenomenon.
Putting away toys, and noticing when the apartment is messy.
Eating without getting food on my shirt. I wear black for the same reason jsgoddess does.
Not spilling liquids or breaking glasses.
Watching soap operas.
Wearing makeup and pantyhose. I had the “doing your nails” one for a while (though I mostly painted them in unconventional colors to freak out my mom), but it got backed out when I was about 14. I believe Reagan was in the White House the last time I did anything with my nails other than cut them when they break.
Wanting to dress up. This thread has me utterly mystified- I don’t feel better when I’m dressed up. I couldn’t care less, and most days don’t even notice, if people around me are dressed up or not.
Wearing shoes at home. My mother always did this, and I never understood why.
Flirting.
Making beds.
Liking babies. I like kids, but I don’t understand what’s so great about babies. They can’t even talk, and they’re not furry like pets.
Joining clubs, or going out after work. I’m tired when I get home, and I just want to read or play some computer games.
Getting up early on weekends.
Noticing anything about cars except color, and maybe make and model if I read it off the back of the car. Also, caring about anything about my car other than that it reliably gets me where I want to go, and doesn’t make me spend too much money on gas to do so.
I never learned ledgable handwriting. To this day, people who see my writing say I should go to med school to be a doctor. Frankly, I don’t really care, because I can type most of what I need to communicate, and it would as a sort of natural encyption. If I can barely read my notes, it’s going to be hard as hell for others to copy them meaningfully.
Coffee. Never did learn to like it, which is wierd because I drink Hot tea without any kind of sweetner.
I never did get the “Teens are supposed to hate thier parents” lesson. I like my parents. I never thought of rebelling.
I still don’t get “making the bed”. When the song ‘Manic Monday’ I always shake my head at the crazy woman who misses the bus because she had to make the bed before she went to work!
