Hey now - you’re dead on about Orlando, but while I realize this thread is all about wide brushes, that’s an awfully broad one you’re slinging at my chosen home-town.
Laredo, Texas.
There aren’t many positive angles to getting divorced, but for me, the one positive was that I’d never have to go back to Laredo (where my in-laws lived) again.
Amarillo, TX. I have relatives there. To say it isn’t the most happenin’ town in the Southwest would be putting it mildly.
Artesia, NM. The smell of natural gas is so strong you’d be afraid to light a cigarette there.
Lexington, KY. Hey Lexington, I know you tried. You really did. But the weather sucked and all those fundies just got to be a bit too much. Please don’t blame me for skipping town when I was 17.
I agree with you on the Martha’s Vineyard thing too. It is kind of a pretty island but talk about a letdown seeing it in real life versus the mystique. I don’t understand the attraction. It basically seems like the rest of coastal Massachusetts but on an island. You have to take a ferry to get there and everything is as expensive as hell. They have beaches but the water is cold. People, including movie stars, spend thousands of dollars a week to stay there. I will never understand why.
In fact, I will extend that criticism to all of Cape Cod. I cannot count the number of times that a co-worker or friend has told me that they were going on vacation and I asked where. “Down to the Cape” they reply. I want to take a broom and hit them in the ass and say “Shoo!, Flee to an actual vacation spot”. I could understand if they didn’t have any money and going 40 miles from home was the only they could afford but vacationing on Cape Cod is one of the most expensive destinations in the U.S. $1500 a week will get you a crappy house away from the beach. Again, even if you got a house on the beach, the water and sometimes the breeze are freezing. My family visited some friends renting a house on the Cape last July. We went down to the beach three blocks from their expensive, crappy rental and had to leave after half an hour because we were freezing and our kids were screaming because they were so cold. Besides that, all of Cape Cod in the summer is just one bumper-to-bumper cheesy fest. I once asked someone that loved the Cape what was so great about it. His reply was: “You can eat seafood all week!”. Funny, the suburban supermarkets five minutes from my house carry all the seafood you can eat and I have it at least twice a week all year round without having to stay in a crappy house an hour from home while spending dearly for the priviledge.
I forgot to name my real nominees. As much as I dislike much of what Boston has to offer, it does have many positive qualities. I absolutely adore my town. It looks like something straight out of a painting and I live in a surprisingly rural area in a historic house with land and awesome neighbors.
There is one city that is similar to Boston in the history category but has none of the positives and even worse negatives. That city is Philadelphia . Phildelphia is a charmless shithole to put it mildly. It has all the charm of working class New Jersey and none of the sophistication of any city of comparable size. It is a more rude city than Boston and it is done in a more crass and ignorant way. Philadelphia has poor areas that are nationally known. You can ask a Philadelphian what is great about their city and they will tell you that it is less than a two hour train ride to New York City. That is sad for the fifth largest city in the country.
The other horrific city is Chicago. This one is harder to pin down on its suckiness. For me, it is midwestern plain vanilla personality combined with big city attitude. There just aren’t a lot of positives to offset the negatives with the people. The weather is horrific and this is coming from someone that lives in New England. The city sprawls forever for over 40 miles. I had 1/2 a piece of Chicago style pizza that was over 3 inches thick while I was visiting and I was full for half the day. Chicago has some of the worst areas that I have ever seen and their housing projects are legendary. I despise Frank Lloyd Wright architecture while most of the people there seem to love it. My mother is an international public speaker and I told her once that besides Philadelphia, there was only one city that truly sucks. She said: “Chicago!, That’s pretty obvious”. Correct Mom.
Gotta agree with you about Memphis. I’ve been to almost all of the major cities in the U.S. and Memphis is eminently forgettable. Really kind of tacky that the town seems to completely revolve around Elvis. Also, I’ve found Philadelphia to be one unattractive, dirty city. Would never want to live there. So those two cities are on my list of cities I can do without.
Good grief! Did I spell provincial as provencal, not once but twice? How small-minded of me. Thanks grammar Nazis for not beating with a stick for that one.
[QUOTE=Zsofia Hey now - you’re dead on about Orlando, but while I realize this thread is all about wide brushes, that’s an awfully broad one you’re slinging at my chosen home-town.[/QUOTE]
Hey that’s cool Zsofia I respect your right to disagree and meant no harm.
By a wide margin! Dallas is a place that only nitwits love. its hotter then blazes in the summertime, and freezing cold in the winter. It is inhabited by clueless dolts who seem to watch TV preachers 24/7. There are billboards advertising the local “mega churches”…ledby The “Rev. Dr. " Bill-Joe Jeff Bob . The restaurants stink, and the downtown is uninhabited at night.
The expressways that ring the city are horribly overcrowded, and accidents are frequent.
Oh, and you can tune n to :holy roller” radio stations all the time…so on your morning commute, you can listen to Rev. Billy-Joe Jeff Bob tell you how you will burn in hell for eons unless you accept Jesus.
Oh…and Hartford , CT: another place that empties out at 5:00 PM…leaving the inhabitants of the inner city to smoke crack, murder eachother in violentband bloody ways, and engage in horrific car accidents.
I’d say that Houston, TX is the only city I’ve spent time in that had no redeeming qualities. My friends live there, and I hate visiting them. The city is ugly. Houston has no zoning laws, so the city has a jumbled up, spread out, crassly commercial feel. Giant billboards (mostly for penis enlargement and sexual aids/surgeries), big-box stores, and 8 lane roads are everywhere. It always takes at least an hour to go anywhere because of traffic. All time is spent indoors–in the house, in the car, in the store/museum/theater. The whole Houston/Galveston area has a nasty, dirty, polluted feel (no big surprise there, since Houston’s one of the most polluted areas in the country).
I’ve found redeeming charms in every other place I’ve visited, including many mentioned here, but Houston is an unmitigated disaster, IMHO.
New York City. Almost no redeeming features whatsoever. Wrong coast, snooty people, the Yankees, traffic, an attitude (with nothing to back it up), etc. The only thing that saves NYC from being a total zero is the food. I love New York eating!
But the rest of the city can sink into the Atlantic for all I’d care.
Jackson, MI; and my house is right in the middle of it…
I’ll see your Fresno and raise you STOCKTON. It’s ugly, dirty and it smells.
**Washington, D.C. ** - a truly disgusting shithole where even the “nice” areas would be considered the ghetto in any other city, and the ghetto looks like Sarajevo. It’s filthy, making NYC look clean by comparison, and the population is comprised of such worthless, inhuman shit-people that nuking the entire area would be far more than they deserve. The city’s traffic layout is so ridiculously convoluted that even people who have lived there for decades often get lost, confused, or stuck in horrific traffic nightmares. It’s prohibitively expensive, but your money gets you nothing - a girl was gang-raped in broad daylight blocks from where a friend of mine paid 2000/mo. for an efficiency apartment, and the next week a gang gun-battle broke out in the middle of the afternoon.
Remember the layout of DC was designed by architect L’Enfant, a frenchmen whose apparent and oft stated goal was to confuse enemy soldiers marching into the city. Never thought about the poor slubs who had to live there and travel there. Also the whole damn thing was built on a swamp of which Virginia took their half back (AKA Alexandria & parts of No. Va). Hence all the circles, north & south, east & west streets intersected by wildly angled streets. As for the population, all I’m going to say is that 220+ years of politics tends to wear off on the people that live there.
Don’t worry those same bars stay open until 2am now. 
Sounds like Kansas City, Missouri.
Also, the roads here are horrible with gigantic potholes that could damage your car in half a second. And the way the people here get so into the Chiefs is pathetic. It’s not even that great of a team. I mean, I can understand rooting for a team because of home pride, but these people act like the Chiefs are the greatest team that ever was.
Toledo, OH… Everytime I go there to visit my family, I think to myself, “yeah, that’s why I left.” The weather is hot and humid in the summer and extremely cold in the winter. It looks run down…more so than the way I remember it.
I haven’t lived there in about 20 years, so I’ve forgotten my way around. The last time I thought…I can get to my sister’s on the southside, by following Detroit Avenue. I was shocked. Detroit Avenue seemed like miles and miles of slums.
Huntsville, AL. It’s ugly and in the summer it’s miserably hot and humid.
I didn’t find New Orleans to be much to write home about, either. And Baton Rouge is a dump.
They’ve been said already, but I’ve got to put in my nominees:
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Atlanta : Reeks of class and racial warfare. Also the city seems to suffer from a severely overinflated ego.
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Memphis : I lived there for 2.5 years and I dislike it for much the same reason as Atlanta. Namely, anybody with any money at all moves out of the city limits to avoid the taxes and (heaven forbid) associating with black people. However, I will say that I think Memphis is a great city to visit. Some of my favorite restaurants are there (Rendezvous, anyone?) and you could hear an awesome blues singer in damn near any bar.
Canberra, ACT. Possibly the single most boring city on the planet.
Well, I’ve lived away from Oklahoma for about 20 years now, but have spent 6 months of the year there and 6 months in England since my mother’s death two years ago (I’m an only child, I need to keep an eye on my dad, especially as he’s going blind).
I used to hate Oklahoma with a passion, and think that I was so fortunate to be able to live in England. Now, it’s a great big ‘meh’. I’m bored here, just as I was in Oklahoma. I know, rationally, that there is a lot more for me in England (culture, museums, theatre, proximity to Europe) but I’m going to move back to Oklahoma.
Why? Dad, for one - he’s not going to be able to drive much longer and I’m going to have to learn (look out OK!) and I’ve met some good people there. I’ve met a bloke there, and want to continue the relationship. It has potential, why nip it in the bud before it has a chance to blossom?
I’m not giving up my flat in London, I’ve lived in it for 15 years, and it is home, in a way. Hopefully, I’ll be able to rent it out, I’m not ready to sell it - thus burning my bridges- at the moment.
Sheesh, too much of a hijack and stream of conciousness - blame the jetlag, I’ve only been back in England a day or two and perhaps am trying to convince myself that, yes, I will move back to the States.
All said and done, I’ve learned to appreciate Tulsa and OKC for what they are - not great cosmopolitan centres, but friendly midwest cities. They’ve got their museums (not the Louvre, Rijksmuseum or the British by any chance), and touring theatre companies pop by now and again. BTW, OKC gets all the big name concerts, tho I’d love to see Elvis Costello in Tulsa, sadly I’ll be in the UK when that happens.
Life is what you make it … it’s not the city, or the weather that matters. It’s keeping those close to you close to you. Yes, there is a lot I’ll miss out on by moving, but there is a heck of a lot more to be gained.