This is something that I have been wondering for a long time. For a hot second I was gonna post my question in ATMB, but decided that would be too snide. I considered IMHO, but I sorta thought it might be more suited to MPSIMS in its inanity. So, please forgive me if I have erred.
The question, as you may have guessed, is this: What color is that Moderator Hat those zany Mods are always putting on? Is there one uniform Moderator Hat that they all have models of? Or do they even share one single hat between the lot of them? Is it like a Jedi thing, where they each get different color Mod Hats depending on their personalities? Or what? Does each one of them just use whatever hat they have lying around? I hope not. That would be pretty boring.
I have, for no apparent reason, always thought of them as those old-fashioned sailor hats. They’re white and navy.
Also, whenever I see the [Moderator Hat On] command, I always imagine their voices to become deep and resounding and echo-ey - kind of like Death in Discworld. Again, I have no idea why.
And Chronos has a Moderator Watch, not a hat (silver with gold accents, classy enough to wear to a 4-star restaurant, multiple time zone presets, and water resistant to 1800’).
I, too, have noted that not all mods use a ‘hat’ (heh heh heh), and have wondered if there might be a whole array of moderator gear:
Moderator tiara (oooh, now that sounds nice)
Moderator scarf/mittens (for those living in cooler climates)
Moderator shoes (or clogs if some one prefers )
Moderator jacket (perhaps nehru is style in style somewhere?)
Moderator tie (for court appearances)
Moderator ring (kinda like the pope)
and speaking of, do they ride around in modmobiles? hmmm. maybe I should submit an application, I could enjoy riding around in something snazzy.
I always thought of the mods barking out orders like a marine gunnery sergeant. You know, everyone does what they say, but nobody can prove their commands are in the english language.
Well, I am a mod at two other boards and all I can say without putting my ownself in too much jeopardy is…the subject of mod accessories is a highly classified topic. Although members are free to speculate, as it makes for highly entertaining fodder in the mod forum.
I always pictured them donning tin-foil beanies to block out the anti-mod waves that the CIA, FBI, and several other government-weanie organizations send out to stop them from carrying out their duties in helping to fight ignorance and foil trolls and sock-puppets (see the tie-in with the tin-foil hats? It all makes sense if you look at it right… and squint a little bit…) not to mention pissing off possibly psychic brain-wave eating aliens who may wander through the boards and post a GD in MPSIMS or a IMHO in GQ God knows that they’ll fry your brain if’n it’s not properly sheilded… bastids!
Naw, the mods get a hat much like the workers at fast-food restaurants wear. Kinda paperish and folds up easily. Very cheap.
The admins, however, are more dignified. They don their Burger King cardboard crowns when they need to do their fancy-schmansy admin work.
There is also a mod/admin set of forum underwear (similar to days-of-the-week undies), where ATMB is blue, IMHO is green, etc. They prefer not to wear these very often, though, as the last person to wear always forgets to throw them in the laundry.
Everyone knows Moderator Hats are like Shriners Hats: tall sloping, cylindrical, with a big tassel. As to the color, they are the color of pure light. They shine with the intensity of a thousand glowing suns. Blinding in their resplendence, awe-inspiring in their glory. And the tassel is where the real magic comes from - as it waggles around atop the glowing head of the mod en hattus, it forms itself into feathers, fruit, fishing lures, or other decorative and superior wit-making baubles as the situation merits. This is what makes the Mod Hat truly great. When the hat is on, the mods are all-knowing, benevolent beings, formed from pure energy and at one with the cosmos and all of nature. Each mod is presented with his/her own glowy hat and uniquely colored tassel in an initiation ceremony held in the basement of the Message Board Server Compound.
(Well, most of them, anyway. One mod, and I’m not saying which, had to settle for a crusty and battered baseball cap plucked from a drainage culvert next to a multilane high speed roadway, where it was run over by many trucks before a stiff and fart-smelling breeze blew it to the ditch.)
