If you will make that law you hereby have my vote for Supreme Ruler of all the Universe. 
I understand that people want to hear their car when they’re locking it; it still bugs me (hence my posting in this thread ).
You know, you’d probably only have to do that once before she’d stop. 
They are also found in malls in large groups, strung out across the entire walkway, walking nice and slow and chatting obliviously amongst themselves. They especially like to come out at Christmas when the malls are really full of stressed-out, cranky people.
They also like to come to a complete stop in the middle of a sidewalk or mall walkway to stare at their phones. I’m going to bodycheck one of these people into next week someday, either on purpose or by accident.
Some do. I once saw a trio of college guys at a sidewalk cafe, watching the pedestrians and honking their nearby car’s horn as pedestrians passed it, just to watch them jump.
Jerks happen.
My father’s method for getting the last couple of drops out of a can of soda when he drinks from the can. Everyone knows you turn it past straight up and down with your neck twisted back, right? No, he kind of throws the drops out by moving the can quickly a few times toward his yawning maw. Drives me nuts.
People who still pay with checks at the supermarket/etc. Bonus points if they stand there after the transaction is over, still scribbling away in their register. Oh. My. God. The transitional grace period is long over - get with the times and get the hell out of my way!
Thank you all for making me feel tolerant and benignly inclined toward humanity. In comparison.
Doesn’t happen often.
When someone says “It is what it is”…I have to fight a sudden urge to punch them in the throat.
That makes no damn sense. Of course it is what it is. What else would it be? You just said a totally stoopid statement that makes no sense and it sticks in my head and the more I try to figure out the wisdom in that statement the crazier I get and the MORE I WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT YOU DUMBASS!!!
deep, shakey breath…I think I’m ok now. But I really hate that meaningless phrase.
People driving the speed limit or below in the passing (left) lane. Especially if I am stuck behind them.
I do that. Don’t have a lock. Don’t want to throw my stuff on the floor. I leave my wallet in my car. So far, no one has swiped my jeans.
If I may add to that; people who pass me on a two lane highway and then go slower than me. My goddamned motherfucking cruise control has been set at this speed for-fucking-ever. And now you pass me, and then decide to go slower than what I had my goddamned motherfucking cruise control set at in the first goddamned motherfucking place!
I go psycho. Sort of. But not really. But I sometimes scream out loud.
“The food is beastly, the men don’t shave, and the conversation gets my goat.”
Also, people who pass you on a divided highway and take 15 minutes to do so because they’ve got their cruise control set for 0.001 kph faster than yours. While cars pile up behind them. We shouldn’t be getting clusters of cars on a divided highway with not many cars on it.
This is stupid, but I just hate following pickup trucks. Can’t see around them, they toss rocks with their tires, and their owners are either insanely aggressive or infuriatingly lacksadaisical.
Of course, around here the default commuter vehicle is a pickup truck, so it’s perfectly normal to follow a pickup. But I hate it.
The term “Going Forward” (as in We will focus on a holistic customer-centred experience going forward-type context) irritates me no end.
A vehicle or a person “goes forward” of a specific something (a starting line, marker, something like that). It’s not a way to refer to things which you would like to or have decreed will happen. What you’re trying to say is “From here on” or “In the future”.
I have a low tolerance for corporate bullshit-speak at the best of times but “going forward” really annoys me even more than the other regulars in the buzzword genre.
I get really pissed at people who walk around heavily populated cities with large umbrellas, like they own the sidewalk.
Gum chewing is extremely annoying. I don’t understand why people who chew gum don’t realize that they look/sound jerkish since it’s a common shtick in comedy.
I agree! I hate just about everything about gum, anyway.
People who have a ginormous personal space and have to stand five feet away from the next person in line. I know that everyone has their own concept of personal space and some people have ocd about such things and everyone should be be able to stand where they want but when I have an armload of something I could set down if the person in front of me would close up the space in the line to normal proportions or if I’m blocking an aisle because someone in front of me has space issues, it’s all I can do not to give them a shove in the back.
I’m someone who likes to have my space, and even I can get behind this (no pun intended.) I at least know how to stand properly in line! When I see a line with a big gap in it, I’m tempted to go into the gap to close it (I wouldn’t actually do this, as it’d be butting ahead of someone, but the temptation is there.)
It bugs me when I am somewhere public and a group is sitting next to me talking and none of them are talking about the same thing or listening to each other. Why not just shut the fuck up and sit quietly.
The “Good Samaritan” at the four-way stop who clearly has the right of way but is such a nice person that they insist, insist that you go first. God forbid there are multiple such do-gooders at these intersections; if caught in such a nightmare, assertive aggressive action is definitely required. 