Good question.
On the other hand, I was previously unaware that you were Japanese and American Indian. I mean, you must be, right, because who are you to tell these people that they *should *be offended?
That’s the crux of it, for me. I’m all for not offending people. But I’m also not a huge fan of people speaking for others in this context. If what I do offends you because it comes from your culture and I’m doing it all wrong and disrespecting you and yours, then it’s inappropriate cultural appropriation, and please tell me and I’ll think really hard about my motivations (“check my privilege”) and most likely I’ll knock it off. …at least in your presence. I will probably not assume that you are a spokesperson for your race/ethnicity/country of ancestry/gender/profession/etc., though. If I get that feedback from many people, I will consider that perhaps this is more than a personal preference (which, again, I will generally attempt to honor in your presence, even if it is only a personal preference) and consider it true inappropriate cultural appropriation.
I would not, for example, ever use a Lakota pipe in one of my eclectic rituals; I am very clear that the rules around the training and use of the tool forbid me from using it, and to use it anyway would be being a jerk. But I don’t believe that because someone not-Lakota told me the Lakota might be offended. I believe that because I’ve talked to actual Lakota people about the process and meaning behind becoming a recognized pipe bearer, and I haven’t done that work and am not likely to do that work. Likewise, if I’m invited to a Vodou ritual, I’ll wear white and cover my head and I can spit rum with the best of them, but I don’t have the cultural or religious right to do that on my own time, or to teach anyone else to do it - not because some Catholic told me it might offend the Vodou practitioners, but because Vodou practitioners have told me it’s inappropriate and unsafe to do so without first studying with them and undergoing their initiations and training.
I posted an “inappropriate cultural appropriation” article about this year’s Sugar Skull costume craze on my Facebook this morning, noting that I really couldn’t see the disrespect or harm that would indicate to me “inappropriate cultural appropriation.” First response was from a woman with a branch of her recent family tree from Mexico: No, not a problem for her or her family. Second response was from a Euro-descent woman who married a Mexican man: No, not a problem; her husband’s family loves it when they see stuff like this making it into the mainstream (they helped her paint her face this year). Third response, my stepmother, bless her heart, born and raised in WASPy WASP Connecticut from a line of WASPs back to the Mayflower: Oh, dear, yes, this might be a tad offensive.
I love my stepmom, I really do. She’s an amazing person. But she very often is so uptight about causing anyone offense that I think she really restricts her enjoyment of life over it. And not because she’s offended, but because she imagines someone else may be offended. She checks her privilege so often she’s running her balance into the negative.