How to deal with my emotions without self-destructing.
I can say with certainty that you are not my sister.
My family was the exact opposite – bad feelings were not allowed. We were never taught how to express negative feelings in a constructive way. It wasn’t “nice.”
I’m still dealing with that today.
My folks were pretty awesome teachers, and I learned lots of common and uncommon things from both - everything from how to do dishes and laundry to how to change a tire and do basic auto maintenance to how to nail shingles and pour lead bullets (I learned both of the latter skills before second grade!) Their biggest contribution was that they taught me how to learn, and how to get along with people.
The major thing I’d have liked to learn at home was all of the feminine stuff: mom wasn’t shy about the sex talks, or tampons, or what have you, but she was clueless about anything “girly,” like makeup or shaving or hair care. I learned most “I feel pretty” stuff from a drag queen and two strippers I met in college. It took a while for me to learn to tone it down!
Come to think of it, I never really learned to cook at home, but I learned to be comfortable in the kitchen. My mom, both grandmothers, a great-grandmother, and bunches of aunts just made it look so effortless that I never thought about it. People just cooked. No mystery.
Finally I wish my parents had done more to foster my self-confidence, but I don’t know whether that’s a failure in their teaching really.
Overall, my parents were very good at being parents.
I think the one thing that they didn’t teach (couldn’t, I suppose) is that not all authority figures are necessarily competent, loyal or even in their position by merit.
I grew up with extremely competent parents, which has made me feel deep down that all authority figures / managers / etc… should be as competent at their jobs as my parents were at being parents, and I tend to get really irritated, disillusioned and lose my respect for them when they’re not.
haaahahhaheehhehhsnort
Trying to think what they did teach. they got married waaaay too young, never developed any skills, and passed it on.
Most notable skills lacking when I hit adulthood:
No social skills - my parents rarely or never engaged with anyone out side their very small families
No sense of hygiene - I remember frequently going to school unwashed, hair unbrushed, in dirty clothes, and our house was frankly squalid.
No ambition - I was just supposed to find someone to marry & take care of me, I guess.
No good eating or exercise habits - both parents were very inactive and food was low quality and huge quantity
I used to joke that I was raised by wolves, but wolves give their offspring social and survival skills, so they are way ahead of my parents.
And yes, they are and have been essentially wards of the state for a couple decades, and raging libertarians. I was raised by American cliches. My parents are the main reason I never wanted children.
Most of the big stuff I wasn’t taught, with mixed results…
Nothing about finances or budget: Result, had to learn the hard way and dig myself out of credit card and student loan debt that wasn’t necessary.
Nothing about sex: I’m…bookish…and pursued my own…literature…but could have used the info prior to sloppy unprotected experimentation.
Nothing about religion: This turned out good in retrospect, I’m not religious and quite happy with it. I suppose there is equal probability that I could have ended up a Branch Davidian-Scientologist-Heaven’s Gate disciple, though, given the complete lack of parental direction on the subject.
Nothing about self-defense or standing up to bullies: Middle and high schools were a torturous affair that I’ve repressed and blacked out of my memory. It would have been nice to have had 7 years of my childhood be enjoyable.
Calculus.
How to enjoy life, and not see only the negative.
Respect.
The respect thing irks me to this day. They expected me to have respect for them, but they made it clear repeatedly that they had no respect for me. My opinion wasn’t valid on the slightest thing; from my clothes to my hair or even to what we were doing when I graduated from high school.
I got a fair amount of “Scream at the kids until they figure it out.” That is how I was taught to clean the bathrooms.
I read a bunch of stupid romance novels when i wasn’t old enough to know better which might not have helped much. My parents also had screaming fights so i didn’t learn much about GOOD relationships but I know what i don’t want from their actions and have learned from a good relationship HOW i should be treated.
So I’m still learning to drive at 33… I have road rage and probably drive like a little old lady.
I’m surprised that a lot of people answered **money **and cooking. Same here for me. I’m still not great with money, but I hope to at least pass along basic knowledge to my daughter.
I’m a new mom in my 30s, and I totally feel like it’s my responsibility to raise my kid to be a good, decent human being with the necessary skills to succeed in life. I think my parents thought I would need different skills than I ended up actually needing. My dad thought it was really important that I knew how to interact with rich, powerful, VIP-types – hoping, obviously, that one day I would accepted into their fancy inner circle. When in truth, I much prefer to hang out with the polar opposite. 
Sex was definitely a biggie. I got The Talk from Mom about periods, but beyond that, it was “Babies are a gift from God.” For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how unwed teenagers tricked God into giving them babies… :rolleyes:
Almost as important - how to make a decision. I was pretty much told what I should do. The “why” was “because I said so.” It took years to learn to weigh options, pick what I thought was best, and move on. Even now, I agonize over stupid things at times.
“The Talk” I got from my dad:
My parents were basically gypsies, apart from that whole ethnic thing.
I developed the concept of a work ethic independently, as an adult - and this earned me no praise. (Except from my best sister, who figured it out on her own way before I did.) The rest of my nuclear family is embarrassing trailer trash.
I was going to say “yak herding.”
But really, I’d say sex. Never had anything remotely like a “birds and bees” conversation. Until I was taught the basic physical differences in the 5th grade, I had always assumed girls had penises. First time I saw a porn movie, I thought they were doing it wrong.
To revise my earlier answer, I’d have to add money - like many others, my parents are fine with money but never talked about it.
Also, cleaning and stuff - I mean, I was supposed to keep my room clean (which I never did - I was the slob in a house of clean freaks) and non-specified “help your mother” but nobody ever sat me down and said, “Okay, this is how you clean a bathtub”. I guess they thought I knew or osmosed it or something.
All of this. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were my brother. 
The only act of physical affection I ever saw between my parents was the time (one time) my mother came up behind my father as he was reading the paper one day and put her arms around him. He didn’t move but kept reading the paper.
Lately, the thing I really wish they had taught me was how to have a confrontation with someone in a healthy way. Both of my parents go waaaay the hell out of their way to avoid confrontation, and frequently put up with extreme bullshit from others, because they are afraid of speaking up for themselves. I’m the same way, and I wish I weren’t. I have no trouble speaking up for someone else, but for some reason I can’t do it for myself.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I’ll stack up my parent’s depression era high school education against my college degree any day. My mom insisted I take typing long before home computers were a reality. She saw it coming. I learned morality, social skills, plumbing, electrical, car repair, finance, cooking, house keeping, laundry, how to negotiate car prices, how to establish credit… I left home fully prepared. Could have used a little more cooking expertise but the chemistry behind it wasn’t really a skill of their generation.
They taught me the value of a dollar and that money can’t buy happiness. They taught me that “love they neighbor” didn’t mean you had to like them but you had to respect them.
My parents taught me a lot of things, mostly by example.
My biggest educational gap I think is in the feminine arts. I’m not particularly good at dressing myself and my cosmetic skills are more theoretical than practical. My Mom didn’t learn any of this stuff and to be fair, she never needed it. As a kid, I was happy to wear my older brother’s hand-me-downs and viewed hairspray as useful only when constructing mini-flame throwers.
As an adult, I definitely feel my girlie shortcomings personally and professionally, although I don’t blame my Mom. I lean on my more skilled friends for assistance. I also try to learn by reading and observation, but that only goes so far. 