I got a feeling you’re gonna get along just fine here. 
I don’t know much about the UK, so I’ll just tell you about here. If your in Detroit or Ann Arbor, I don’t think that jaywalking will get your any tickets. Avoid Flint, as it is the armpit of Michigan (I go to college here), and Bay City is almost as bad. Downtown Ann Arbor is awsome. You can walk around and shop and hang out for hours. Novi has the best mall around. Lansing is the capital of Michigan. Red Wings suck (it’s a personal matter ;)) Tigers suck (for real). Lions suck (for real). When driving, go at least the speed limit, or people will get mad at you. Drive on the right. Umm… that’s about all I can think of right now.
Michigan …
When people ask you where you live, hold up your right hand and point to the lower right, just below the thumb.
Detroit may be Hockeytown USA, but just get accustomed to the fact that the Detroit Tigers (baseball) and Detroit Lions (football) are only allowed in their respective leagues for the other teams to beat on. (And it goes without saying that your ‘football’ is our ‘soccer’, and your ‘American football’ is our ‘BEST GAME IN THE WORLD’).
If someone says “We saved your ass in World War II,” just reply, “Yeah, but we saved YOUR ass in World War III!”
‘Shag’ to most Americans, is a type of carpeting popular in the 70’s, not sex.
Ino & chekmate, I know about football. I know the Lions suck and have sucked for a while, although U of M are pretty good, so I hear.
Brynda has lamented the fact that she found a British guy who loves football I have watched it for years. I also like basketball and to a lesser degree hockey. I don’t like baseball at all though.
Rick
Visit Montana, especially western Montana. Loving the scenery of eastern Montana is an acquired taste (it’s mainly flat, but rugged with hills and buttes and badlands, and almost desertified (think dusty and brown and tough weeds)), but western Montana is simply breathtaking. It is green (it gets rain and snow, the lucky SOBs) and has the Rockies (Rocky Mountians), real mountains more rugged than the Alps. Western Montana has skiing in the winter (so does eastern Montana) and everything from fishing to hunting to boating (on Flathead Lake, preferably (Missoula fan here)) in the spring and summer. Plus, with those mountains, it isn’t as windy as it is here in the east.
Eastern Montana makes for deadly dull driving (you can go for hours and see nothing but barbwire fence and weedy land). Consider flying from Michigan.
Respect the cold. I don’t know how cold it gets in the UK, but the cold alone can kill you in some areas of America. Montana and Michigan are two of those areas. Dress warmly, invest in good coats, and attend some hunter’s safety classes to find out about how to layer properly if you want to do winter outdoors activities (I assume they have those classes in Michigan).
And, finally, have fun. 
America is a great place to do almost anything, and it has a lot of variety within a rather small area. Drive some hours south, to a place like Arkansas, and you’ll find completely different cuisine and culture. It’s enough to give Americans mild culture shock at times. North v. South, East v. West, Coastal v. Inland, there are many comparisons possible within the borders of this nations.
As soon as you have the time and money, go on a long road trip. Even to Americans, the variety in scenery and people are fascinating.
I echo all the warnings about the police. The guns they carry aren’t for show and they will not hesitate to use them.
For people outside Michigan, Detroit is widely regarded as Hell on Earth.
Americans in general adore English accents–use yours to your best advantage.
If you find it hard to relate to people in Detroit just memorize these handy phrases
“Remember when Vernon kicked Roy’s ass?”
“Forsberg’s face looks like the ass of a baboon that was gang-raped by elephants.”
“Gordie Howe… man those were the days”
If you really want to be like most Detroiters, just move to Colorado like the rest of them did.
I’m pretty sure that Roy kicked the asses of both Vernon and Osgood on two seperate occasions. Not to mention that I had the privledge to be at both of those games.
::: ears prick up ::: The Detroit area? Well, lookee here! ::: glances at her ‘location’ listed ::: .
Very good advice has already been given. I will stress the “get used to driving everywhere”, though. The Detroit area is very spread out; where in other large urban areas you’ll find most entertainment to be located in the city proper, in metro Detroit you’ll drive all over the suburbs and other larger cities to get to various places. Oooh, and our public transportation is for sh*t.
I constantly jaywalk, I’ve never gotten a ticket before; even when crossing within sight of police. No one I know has. As long as you know not to dart out a foot away from oncoming cars, it’s generally okay. Actually, upon further contemplation, everyone I know jaywalks more than we actually legally cross. In my area, designated crosswalks can be up to a mile apart, and damned if I’m going to walk that far out of my way to go directly across the street! (and if I ever do get hit by a car, I can only blame myself, yes I know).
If you’re into going to concerts (I have no idea what your age is or musical tastes, so some general stuff): Cobo Hall (downtown Detroit) is a semi-common venue, but most ‘big’ stuff is held at the Palace (in Auburn Hills, about 45 minutes out of Detroit). There are other venues, like Harpo’s, Clutch Cargo, etc. But be prepared to drive to get to concerts, like any other place you’ll want to go to.
You may like Royal Oak, or you may detest it, depending. It’s the city people either love or hate. Plenty of … unusual … shops like Noir Leather, alternative stores and salons, good restaurants, etc.
Michigan has the shittiest drivers. Except of course, for me. You’ll probably need to make frequent use of the freeways. Get used to people passing on the right constantly, riding your ass at 90 mph, going only a half a mile an hour faster than the person they’re passing, etc. Oh, and I might just have really good driving karma, but I’ve had good luck with state troopers (state troopers pull people over on freeways). On I-696, you can drive up to 85-90mph generally, as long as it’s not the middle of rush hour and/or you’re not otherwise being an asshole (i.e. not weaving in and out of lanes, riding people’s asses, lane drifting, etc). Hell, I passed a Trooper who was facing me with a radar gun aimed at my car; I was going 85 and he didn’t even blink an eye.
Oooh, and for some reason, saying you’re from Detroit can gain odd looks. Looks of uneasiness and, yes, even fear (my friend often paraphrases, “I’m from Detroit, where the weak are killed and eaten” :D). I honestly like living here, though.
Welcome!
pissed - in Britain, that’s “drunk”.
pissed - in the US, that’s “mad (angry)”.
Stifle your giggles if a guy named Randy introduces himself. (Hi, I’m Randy.)
A British accent is usually considered charming but on occasion it may strike some as snobby (snooty?). Depending.
It’s not “arse”, it’s “ass”. (But everyone will understand the former anyway.)
And I’m afraid that you will have to secure health insurance through your employer.
Haha. U of M is fairly mediocre most of the time. But they could probably take the Lions.
A friend of mine moved here from Liverpool - and he had the same worries.
Levi’s & Hiking Boots/Nike’s are good.
Orthopedic Looking Shoes & Black Socks Are not.
We do have homeless people, and many of them will ask you straight out, for money. If they say they need it for food - Offer to buy them a Happy Meal.
You don’t have to pay a tax, just for owning a television.
Unlike Petrol, Gasoline Can Be Lit On Fire. (Don’t try)
Say Wanker, Numptie, and Mingin’ regularly.
Like that other person said … “Fanny” is not the female genitalia, And You can’t smoke a “Fag”.
We have a lot more candy - My advice is to sample it ALL liberally.
Don’t try this with our Beer. It isn’t quite as good.
Public Restrooms: If they’re dirty, complain. Someone will clean it right away, in most places.
Most decent people, will strike up random conversations with you in public places - i.e. the grocery store. Go with it, Giggle when you feel like it (Unless theyre wearing a clown mask, holding a hammer & duct tape, and asking you for a ride to the landfill)
Coupons will get you a discount - Use them everywhere possible.
If you complain about a bad product, a bad meal, or bad customer service - chances are, you’ll get something free out of the deal. (This works well @ Taco Bell when you say no onions, and they load your burrito up with them)
We only get mail once per day. (Arg)
Check your state laws about carrying certain items in public
(I ran around Boston for 6 months w/ a Tazer gun in my bag, only to find out if i’d been caught, i’d have been sitting in jail for a good period of time)
Not everything that is legal somewhere, is legal everywhere else.
Invest in good winter clothing, that makes you look cool.
Same goes for shoes.
We have better underarm deodorant. Try Degree.
Do not EVER eat any type of “Mountain Oyster” no matter how good someone tells you they are. They are NOT made of oyster.
When an ambulance is screaming down the road, behind you - pull over slowly and wait for it to pass. Everyone else will do the same.
Do not speed in a school zone with a blinkie light flashing, (You’ll get a bigger fine for doing that, than doing 80 in a 40 with a hooker & a bail of drugs strapped to your hood) And don’t pass a stopped schoolbus, that has it’s “Stop” sign sticking out.
Be nice to Old people. They appreciate it.
Try a scoop of Daquiri Ice, from Baskin Robbins.
And then try a cup of hot, oregon chai. Mmm.
We have lots of restaurants. Try them all!
(Don’t forget to tip your waiter)
I think thats enough out of me.
Welcome to the States & Enjoy yourself
I’m assuming you’re much younger, but… senior citizens here can finagle discounts for all sorts of things (movie tickets, travel, medications, etc.) by asking or flashing relevant I.D./membership, etc.
Get thee hence to a CD store! You’ll probably find all sorts of stuff you couldn’t easily find back home, and music is probably a bit cheaper in the U.S. And don’t overlook the used CD bins… We also have supersized stores and “outlet” malls, where there are some bargains to be had. The downside: British music mags are much more expensive here, and Rolling Stone just sucks.
Yes, our TV is free, but for anything good you’ll need cable or a satellite dish. The good news is, lots of cable/satellite companies carry lots of BBC (including a nightly newscast) & Channel 4 offerings. The bad news is, cable is usually a local monopoly, so if your carrier doesn’t offer it, you may have to get a satellite dish. If you’re living in an apartment complex, though, satellite may not be possible for you (it depends on the building and renter’s rights, like everything else, vary by state). Check it out & good luck!
And good luck with getting your electric and electronic gadgets & gizmos to work here. (Adapters? Sell it all and buy new here?) This includes DVD compatibility issues, 'natch. Maybe there’s an online trading service somewhere, for movie-swapping across regions?
“Fanny” here is also a very old-fashioned girl’s name. I actually knew a Fanny once. (Her parents were, oddly enough, Greek.) And in the States, calling someone a c*nt (terrible or otherwise) is fightin’ words, so be circumspect.
Most kids here attend public schools, unless their parents believe it’s worth it to spring for private (often parochial or otherwise special) schooling. And lawyers are the same as attorneys (interchangeable terms). Sure, they specialize six ways from Sunday, but they’re still all lawyers/attorneys, as opposed to the real divisions of barristers/solicitors/Queen’s Counselors (but hey, everything I know about the Brit legal system, I learned from “A Fish Called Wanda”).
Speak proper American English. We don’t call people “sods” and say “sod yourself”; we call 'em fckers and tell 'em to go fck themselves (or, alternately, to f*ck off).
[I’ve heard that American-style “doggie bagging” has become better known and accepted in Europe, but just in case…] Restaurant portions here can be huge, especially in certain chain “theme” restaurants. Don’t be shy about asking for a “doggie bag” to take home your leftovers. Heck, you paid for it.
Ditto on American beers v. candy. Try Ferrara-Pan’s “lemonheads” – really tart, sour, and lemony! And “Red-Hots” are really strong with the cinnamon… And kids and adults alike often do Halloween rather seriously here [there’s an old thread on that], although they have predictably different kinds of parties.
Certain British foodstuffs like Bovril and Marmite can be very hard to find here, although the teas are ubiquitously available. If you must partake of the dreaded Marmite, be advised to bring your own stash. (Tee hee, just try getting it past Customs, though. Sounds like a chemical cousin to TNT, and is probably even deadlier!) May I suggest having fun experimenting with some of the dodgier American foods, like aerisolized “processed cheese food” in a can (ahem, the FDA regulates what can legally be termed real cheese) on oily Ritz crackers, Entenmann’s baked goods, and anything made by Sara Lee or Lil’ Debbie…
Speaking of food, our airlines don’t feed us like they used to, and airport delays are a persistent problem. If you must fly domestically, take a few snacks.
“Rubber” is the stuff that tires and pencil erasers are made of.
Do you smoke? Get used to stepping outside… non-smoking in public areas is largely strictly enforced here, by the general public as well as the authorities.
Do you drink and drive? Don’t. Penalties vary by state but have been significantly toughened up over the past 20 years. Ditto for drug use. We have these draconian measures called “federal mandatory minimum sentences” that can be very harsh, so if you must use, buy only very small amounts and never sell, and don’t take it anywhere near a school…
Identity theft criminals are running rampant here. Tear up any unsolicited, unwanted credit-card mailings, and similarly shred any other banking-sensitive papers you dispose of. Depending on your 'hood, dropping your payment envelopes in a post office collection box (ours are blue, with the postal eagle) is a good security measure. If you ever obtain a Social Security number, guard it jealously. Do not reveal it to any business that can’t offer a compelling rationale for knowing it, and never write it on a check.
Living in an apartment high-rise and worried about worst-case fire scenarios? Fire engine ladders around here can reach people as high as the 6th floor, at least from what I’ve heard in New Jersey. YMMV.
Don’t ever use the ATMs affiliated with a bank that’s not yours (outrageous fees may apply).
Lucky you – Michigan is relatively close to the famous Cedar Point amusement park in Sandusky, Ohio. Arguably, this is simply the best collection of roller-coasters and other serious rides in the world. Dare you, and double-dare you. And I will if you will. Seriously, though, they have some real monsters.
“The Season,” as the tourist season used to be known in Miami, is December-March, and for some very good reasons (having to do with the May-June rainy season, heat, humidity, mosquitoes, and hurricanes). If you feel you must vacation in the American Southeast during the summer (I’m referring to the Chesapeake-Washington D.C. region down to Florida and along the Gulf Coast to Mexico), don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Vacations in the fun-lovin’ U.S.of A. typically run only 1-2 weeks, and getaway-weekends are becoming more popular. Sorry. Many people actually get more time than that, but are too workaholic or intimidated to actually use up their time. :rolleyes:
And if a guy or team with a truck or van pull up to your place and tell you you need your driveway resurfaced or your roof done, tell 'em to f*ck off.
Here’s the smilie for the more formidable of those Cedar Point rides: :eek:
Bring any speciality teas you desire with you in quantity. We don’t have the good stuff you limeys crave readily available so be forewarned.
Make yourself scarce on July 4th.
People with English accents are automatically assumed to be sexy, smart and sophisticated. Use this canard to your advantage.
Wear sunscreen or hats in summer. The sun will burn you badly if you do not respect it.
American women are different than English women. There are more and greater expectations and the required maintenance level is higher than you are used to with English women. Just have your tools handy.
American badgers are not the same as English badgers. If you see one in your yard do not try to feed it or pet it.
I hearby object to Flint being named the “armpit” of Michigan.
Not that there is anything worth visiting here that isn’t also available outside of Flint, but it isn’t that bad. Really.
That is all.
I go to Kettering University here, and I have grown immune to the sounds of sirens. I don’t even hear them anymore. The ghetto is north,east, and west of the campus, and the local convenience store has been dubbed the “Stop and Rob.” Maybe it’s just from my limited experience of Flint, but I would say that you are right in objecting to it being called the armpit of Michigan… It’s more like the buttcrack of Michigan.
Back again
Thanks for all the info guys.
KinSaba, Brynda has told me about this. She uses it sometimes when she is not sure where people are talking about (happened just this weekend, in fact). Very handy :groan:
ShibbOleth, I was lured here under false pretenses. I was told we had at least one good football team :rolleyes: Although, being able to watch football on tv at a reasonable hour makes up for that
astro, I know about teas. I have been supplying Brynda with tea for the past year and a bit (until I moved over here).
I appreciate the advice about the police. I am always respectful of people in authority and I have only ever been pulled over once in the UK, so hopefully it will be a moot point.
I have heard a lot of thing about Ann Arbor and Royal Oak, I’ve been through Royal Oak a couple of times too. Oh, I heard Ann Arbor referred to as A[sup]2[/sup] which is pretty cool.
All in all, my first week and a bit has gone great and I am liking living here.
Rick
What words are innocent in england but rude in america?
Going west, fannies are less of a problem (well, I can see it could cause confusion, but going east is worse; as Bill Bryson describes it, “I learnt the hard way that a woman’s fanny is not polite dinner party conversation.”)