What do I need to know about the US?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

As some of you may know, I have recently emmigrated to the US from the UK to marry my sweetie (Hi Brynda). I know some stuff about living here and I am learning things all the time, but what information is totally, absolutely, cannot-live-without knowledge to help me adjust and get along?

If people have any information I need to know about Michigan and Detroit in particular, post here.

To start you off, can someone explain jay walking to me. Several people have tried, but I am still not totally sure.

And before some smart arse posts, I know you drive on the other side of the road. I have passed my driving exam here already (on Tuesday, go me!).

Rick
:slight_smile:

2

Jay walking is pretty simple: don’t cross the street unless you’re at a designated crosswalk, and if there is a light controlling pedestrian traffic follow that like you would a stop-light in your car. It’s also a lame bit on Jay Leno, an overrated talk show host.

Learn how to tip. Average is 15-20%. Easy calculation method: divide your bill by 10, then double to get 20%, or divide in half and then add to your original total to get 15%.

Other than that welcome to the country! We’re not all jingoistic flag-waving arrogant pricks and I hope you enjoy your stay here for as long as it may be.

3

Be sure to visit Ann Arbor in the summertime.

4

Always bring your ID when you go out drinking and do not under any circumstances hassle the bar staff when they ask to see it.

Remember that most of the prices in shops and restaurants will be exclusive of sales tax.

5

You are expected to tip:

waiters/waitresses
bartenders
food delivery people (pizza, chinese, etc)
cab drivers
bellhops
skycaps

6

Don’t try n’ smoke a fag here.

7

It is very very cold and often snowy in SE Michigan in the winter. Do you know what -20 F feels like (-30 centigrade)? Buy a warm winter coat and comfortable waterproof snow boots. You can get great deals on highest quality winter wear at the Columbia outlet right over the bridge in Windsor, Ontario. (a 40 minute drive from Ann Arbor where I live).

In America in general, and the Detroit area in particular, people drive long distances to get places. An hours commute each way is not considered outrageous to get to work every day. Heck, I don’t think of a drive as “long” until till it takes at least 6 hours.

We have a great crowd of Michigan Dopers, hope we can have a get together sometime and meet you! You know what you should do? Is come to the Manchester Chicken Broil. Its the largest outdoor chicken broil in the World! Very American small-towny. Chicken broiling, high school choirs singing, local polka bands playing, the whole bit. Manchester is a tiny town near Ann Arbor.

8

This is generic advice, appropriate for anyone moving to a new place: look for the good stuff.

It can be human nature to find everything wrong with the new place, ie, the food isn’t as good, the weather isn’t as good, people talk funny, etc. Part of it is homesickness and the stress of any large change. All the bad things you notice may be true but if that’s where you’ve chosen to live then there’s not a whole heck of a lot you can do about it. Instead, look for what is better (there’s always something!) and try to focus on that.

This is particularly true on speaking with the locals. If you diss there hometown don’t expect them to say, “You know, you’re right, it is much better in England, let’s all go there.” Instead you’ll just piss everyone off. But if you look for the things, small and large, that are nicer, and compliment on them then people will be extremely nice to you.

9

Are you telling me that you’re not supposed to jaywalk in the US? News to me. I thought only Canadians waited for the light.

10

file your taxes! even if you file incorrectly, that is much better than not filing at all!

one quick way to a world of shit is to end up on the IRS’s bad side. (its gotten much better lately, so if you file, i wouldn’t woory about it too much.)

move out west if you can. Detroit is where the weak are hunted for sport! :smiley: just kidding! im sure its nice there. im going to upper MI later this summer and am looking forward to the trip. Welcome to the USA.

11

In the UK, if you needed emergency assistance, you dialed 999. Here, you dial 911 (but there may still be some communities where there is no standard emergency number).

Guns are easier to get in the US than in the UK. However, the laws regarding where you can take them and how you must store them are complex, and vary widely from one locality to another. Under some circumstances, you are allowed to use a gun to defend your property, but if you call the police for help, and then step outside carrying your gun, you are likely to get shot by the police. At least, that’s the way it seems to work in the Dallas, Texas, area.

Get someone in Detroit to tell you about October 30th (I believe it’s called Devil’s Night). In years past, this has been a good night to be anywhere other than Detroit.

If anyone tells you that all Americans do this, or do that, don’t believe them. There are well over 270 million of us, and we are all different.

We do have a few things in common among the majority of us, however. For instance, almost none of us speak what you would call English. Many of us speak one of several dialects of American English, which can be deceptively similar to what you call English. Be warned that the same words can have much different meanings.

For instance, in the UK, you might say that you knocked a woman up, meaning that you knocked on her door. Here, it would mean that you got her pregnant.

There, your car had a bonnet, a boot, a windscreen, and tyres, it used petrol, and you dipped the headlamps. Here, your car has a hood, a trunk, a windshield, and tires, it uses gas, and you dim the headlights.

There, you were supposed to cross the street at the zebra crossing. Here, you are supposed to cross the street at the crosswalk, which may look like a zebra crossing and may just be a pair of parallel stripes.

In the UK, you walked on the pavement, and drove on . . . erk, I’ve forgotten, if I ever knew. In the US, you walk on the sidewalk, and drive on the pavement.

There, the first floor is up one flight of stairs. Here, the first floor is at ground level.

It is easy for American citizens to cross the border to and from Canada. You may or may not find that, since you don’t sound like an American, you may need your passport to get back into the US.

Welcome to the USA!

12

Here’s one my wife loves: customer service will usually accept returns, no questions asked, as long as you have your receipt.

Of course, that doesn’t work if you’ve destroyed the item in question, but most of the time, if you are reasonable about things, you can get a refund or exchange.

Needless to say, I’ve returned a lot of stuff for her… :rolleyes:

13

That’s somewhat a thing of the past. There’s been a huge push lately to call it Angel’s Night. Back in the day, though, The night before Hallowween was crazy, man, crazy.
Some things to check out in the area:

  1. Dearborn has high Arab-American population, so if your like Arabic food, this is a good place to go.

  2. You moved to the Detroit area at just the right time, my firend, as the Detroit Red Wings hockey team is on their way to winning their third Stanley Cup in six years. (You do know that Detroit is Hockeytown, right?) You have to go to The Post, or right next door to Cobo Joe’s, in downtown Detroit to watch at least one Red Wing game before they win the cup. It’s one helluva good time.

  3. White Castle !!!
    stv

14

I don’t know how it is in the UK, but in the States, be real polite to the police, and follow their instructions carefully, should they ever give you any. Likewise, should you ever be pulled-over by the police, keep your hands visible, and make no sudden moves.

That said, as long as you’re fairly respectful and cooperative, most police are really good folk, and friendly, to boot.

15

Detroit is to the US as Glasgow is to Great Britain.

16

How do you figure? Cite?

stv

17

I second the going to Ann Arbor in the summer. Of course, I go to school here so I’m a little biased. Also try and get tickets to a Michigan football game. It’s amazing seeing 110,000+ people sitting in a one stadium.
As for Detroit, it’s a lot better than it used to be thanks to all the efforts going to cleaning it up and in general making it a nicer place to live. In some parts the neighborhoods can be pretty segregated with black people living among burned out roofs on the ground and white people living in nicely tended old houses less than a block away. But again, they’re trying to change all that.
Oh, yeah, and one last thing: Canada! They’re friendly, they’re clean, it’s pretty safe, and it’s a favorable exchange rate. You can’t lose by going to Canada and it’s only a 45 minute drive depending on where you live.

Audiobottle

18

You may not like to watch it but it’s a game of wonderful sublety, once you learn it.

But the reason that you need to know about baseball is to understand our slang. In no particular order, here are a few choice examples:

getting to 1st base: means to initiate a project but has a special meaning when it comes to sex
striking out: failing miserably since a strike out means failing to even hit the ball
bush league: minor leagues in baseball; signifies a situation or a gaffe made by a rookie
hot stove league: the active gossiping of fans during the off-season
rhubarb: a verbal altercation over calls in baseball but widely used as a term for a dispute
twin killing: a double-play in baseball but used in the sense of “killing 2 birds with 1 stone” or creating a bonanza
home run: a ball hit over the fence in baseball but a big score in colloquial expressions
bat cleanup: the #4 position in the batting order, but outside baseball the person with the biggest clout (back to baseball: you put that big hitter #4 to hit in any runners on base)
knuckleball: a type of pitch that seems to move at random; it’s used to describe a difficult problem or unexpected surprise
sweet spot: spot on a bat which will give batter greatest power; it’s also the “best place” in slang

And that doesn’t even mention the baseball quotations that people will fling about:
“Baseball is a game of inches.”
“It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.”
“Who’s on 1st. What’s on 2nd. I Don’t Know is on 3rd.”
“Say it ain’t so Joe.”

Get a copy of Paul Dickson’s Baseball Dictionary and read it for the color!

19

Hi everyone :slight_smile:

Thanks for all the tips and advice. Some of which I knew, some of which I didn’t know. I’m in a rush, so this reply has to be a bit impersonal and short. More later.

I’m looking forward to getting together with you Michigan dopers at some point. Brynda has told me what a great bunch you are already.

Anyone else got any pearls of wisdom to share with me?

Rick

20

In America “fanny” is an innocent, playful way to refer to someone’s butt. You might give a child a playful swat on the fanny, for example. Those little bags attached to a belt are called “fanny packs” etc.

If you get pulled over by the police, do not get out of your car unless they ask you to. It makes them very nervous.