Damn, that must of been THE look, Al Paccino would be proud of you. You’ve got to let us in on that. It would come handy for some people I know.
Bloody Hampsters.
Couldn’t connect to remote server my ass.
Looks like someone gave the little bastards some uppers.
To follow on from Miller – every day right around 4:30 I take the office mail out to a nearby post box. There happens to be a bus stop right beside the post box.
At least THREE days each week there’s a particular women waiting at that stop, and EACH time she sees me she asks me for a smoke. (It’s the same women, she has a very distinctive appearance.)
EVERY SINGLE TIME I tell her I do not smoke. This is the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. The only smoke I have ever inhaled has been second hand, swelpmegod.
Normally she just looks disappointed, several times she’s accused me of being cheap – Why cantya share? – and the absolute winner came a few weeks ago when she had the nerve to point out that the sandwich place across the street sold cigarettes!
I’m not sure if she expected me to give her the price of a pack OR if she expected me to hurry right on over and buy a pack so I could give her one or what. I was so startled I just mumbled something along the line of, “That’s nice,” dropped my mail in the box, and hurried back to my office.
Sheesh. Can’t you learn what I look like? We’ve gone through this exchange literally dozens of times. Either A) I don’t smoke so I don’t carry cigarettes or B) I smoke and I’m a confirmed cheap bastard who won’t give you one.
Either way, you’re not getting a cigarette from me, so why don’t you just leave me alone?
Pull out a pack of Marlboros in the UK, and everyone seems to want one. “Oooh, Marlboros, I love those! Giz’ one!”
No, I don’t think so, especially when you have a full pack of your usual Cheap-Ass brand smokes in front of you. Don’t try to bum mine just because you’re too cheap to pay for your own pack o’ Reds.
My favorite exchange, courtesy of a friend of mine, witnessed by me:
Stranger: “Please don’t smoke that so close to our table. Do you realize how unhealthy that is?”
Friend: “The way I see, you gotta die of somethin’.”
Stranger: “I was talking about its effects on me.”
Friend: “So was I.”
[sub]NOTE: I do not condone nor agree with causing other people discomfort by smoking near them. I understand, since I quit eleven years ago.[/sub]
I can relate to this.
I normally freely give a ciggie out if asked. However, a few months ago I was given the “esteemed” honor of serving on jury duty for two weeks. The County-City Building (where most of the county courts, Superior, etc. are) is located in an extremely seedy part of town. It also happens to be where the County Jail and City Police department HQ are. I digress.
As anyone who has ever served on jury duty knows, it’s a bunch of hurry up and wait. So, we second-class citizens take many smoke breaks.
I happened to be smoking outside in the “designated” smoking area. A bum walks up to me and asks if he can “bum” a cigarette. Okay, I hand him one. Cut to one hour later. Smoking again, same bum walks up and asks if can “buy” a cigarette. I’m slightly annoyed that he has the nerve to ask a total stranger twice, but okay I let him buy one. (Hey the first one was free, I didn’t even know this guy!). He walks away from me, a bum approaches him and asks if he has a cigarette. Bum 1 tells him no, but points to me. I think, oh no, I am not here to support everybody’s habit. We pay well over $5.00 a pack here. I quickly make a beeline for the door and the metal detectors. Bum 2 chases me down and asks for a cigarette. I tell him, sorry, I’m all out. He proceeds to berate me. A cop is standing 10 feet away. I try to pull away and try to politely inform him I’m all out. Nope, he doesn’t give up. Now I’m pissed and a little scared. Said cop is still standing there. Finally, I state in a firm voice I’m all out and to leave me the fuck alone. Finally cop takes notice and tells bum to clear out.
Cut to three hours later. Outside, smoking again. Bum 1 approaches me AGAIN! I could not fucking believe it! I am NOT this fella’s friend! This time I tell him (politely), that I’m sorry, I don’t have any extra to spare. He literally tells me, “Well, go buy a friggin’ pack then! I need a cigarette!” Now I am pissed, and I am sick of trying to be nice. I promptly tell him to FUCK OFF, and to get a job so he can buy his own damn cigarettes.
Man, people are nervy! I don’t mind sharing, and will freely share with my friends, but idiots like these take the cake.
You know, all these people who are bumming cigs off of you all are going to be the same ones in the retirement home trying to bum a hit off of your oxygen tank, and then ask you if you’ve got an extra cigarette.
This happens to me at least three times a week when I am walking down the street and drinking my morning coffee. If I smoked, wouldn’t I be smoking while drinking coffee? My answer is always “Of course not. Do I look stupid?” Most people don’t have a comeback for that.
“You know, second-hand smoke kills.”
“Not reliably.”
Like Amanita, I usually smoke cloves, which run 1½ to 2 times the cost of a pack of regular cigs. You’re only getting one of my cigarettes if I’m not running low and you fall into one of these categories
- Close friend.
- Offering to pay (depending on my mood I may or may not take the money).
- Cute girl.
Everyone else can just fuck off. If you’re having such a serious nic fit, go to the goddamn store like anyone else.
Working at Tim Horton’s as I do… it funny when people wander in and order a coffee and a cigarette. This has actually happened to me.
Usually I just tell them sorry, that I’m down to my last one. If they offer to pay I will sometimes give them one… heck I had a guy come in and ask if he could get a smoke and I had only four but he offered 5 bucks for two so I gave them to him. Why not? 5 bucks was well on my way to paying for a new pack!
I did wonder if he had 5 bucks to pay for 2 why he didn’t scrounge for another few bucks and walk 3 blocks to Mac’s. But it was my gain 
I don’t smoke myself, but cas igarettes are no longer a dollar a pack - I would be to cheap to give any away if I had them.
I once had a rather shifty looking fellow ask me for a cigarette. I told him I was a non-smoker…he said “alright, that’s cool. I know you have some on you, but hey that’s cool…” over and over while walking off. I wished then I did have a smoke just so I could light one up and blow it in his beggar-ass face.
What used to get me was back in the days when I used to install cable. I had the misopportunity to walk into a lot of homes where, was I the owner, I’d prefer to not have a home.
And some people who figured that having a guest in the house was an opportunity to bum cigarettes.
I guess I was always brought up this way: if I have a guest in my home, I should be the one offering cigarettes.
Now, I’m not sure what was worse…that or another experience.
About three years ago, I did a service call for a Kurdish family. I am not very familiar with Kurdish customs, but this family was downright over-polite. I was overwhelmed to the point where I almost considered it a discourtesy.
First, they forbade me to take my muddy boots off at the door. We actually use boot-covers as it is against OSHA regulations for one to take his boots off when working in a customer’s home. He didn’t even let me walk in the door, however, and he was pleading with me to leave my boots on my feet. However, I quickly reached to my tool belt for the boot covers which only take two seconds to slip over my boots. The guy was genuinely offended.
Now, I would understand if the home was some worthless pit, but this house was pristine. I will not make enough money in my life to pay half of what this house was worth. There was enough room for me to make a U-turn with my truck in the foyer.
The guy then insisted that I sit down and chat awhile. While I wanted to do just that, I had pressing needs and I needed to get to work. However, he offered me a cigarette.
I tried to turn it down, but he put it in my mouth and lit it for me. The only thing I could do is puff.
It was some weird brand I have never heard of before…and it was good. The guy wouldn’t let me work until I had finished the cigarette. Thank God he didn’t offer me another one.
There was another pit thread about this a couple of weeks ago, with some interesting suggestions, like (forgive me if I get the namebrands wrong, I don’t smoke either), carrying just one or two “Black” brand cigs (really nasty unfiltered ones) and passing those out if someone asks to bum a cig from you.
Or keeping “loaded” cigs for passing out cigs.
Like several others here who don’t smoke, I am amazed by the snotty reactions of people who try to bum a smoke from you, but when you say you don’t smoke they act as if you’ve greatly insulted them or something.
Weird.
I think that is the perfect response.
God, I guess I must be the weird one of you smokin’ lot. Whenever someone asks me for one cigarette, I almost always give them three. Then again, a pack of fags (Marlboros) is only $1.75 or so in these parts…