What do Memorial Day, birthday, kidney stones, my job and the Twins have in common?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Me.

I had my first (and hopefully last) kidney stone for Memorial Day weekend…which also happened to be my birthday. Indescribable pain. Two nurses that have had both kidney stones and children say it hurts worse than childbirth. Could be. At least labor pains come and go; kidney stone pain is constant…and you don’t even get to have a kid afterward.

They did the CAT scan at the hospital and said it would probably pass. Two days later, it hadn’t passed, so they had to go get it. They did something so evil to me that I won’t even describe it. Suffice it to say, they went inside and got the stone, but they didn’t need to make any incision. Peeing afterward was very unfun. AND, they had to leave a “stint” in me so the ureter wouldn’t swell shut. Five days later they removed the stint, and I was awake for that. Oh god. They said I might feel some “pressure” when the scope thing had to pass throught the sphincter. Uh huh. I guess “pressure” in medical terms means “it feels like the flames of hell have taken up residence in your bladder.”

A couple more days of painful, red peeing. Marvelous.

But now I’m all better, so I go back to work. The boss calls. I’m going to be laid off June 29th. Oh, joy. At least I’ll get a decent severance package. I was getting bored with that job anyway, and, as a “displaced worker,” I can get some expensive retraining in order to find a better job.

Which brings me to my final point…

I have been laid off twice in my life. Once in 1987, and once in 1991. Anyone recall who won the World Series those years? Yep, the Minnesota Twins. They’re doing pretty good this year, and it seems like they might have another shot at it.

Seattle has basically won the Western Division already, Minnesota and Cleveland will head up the Central Division, and Boston and New York will keep each other’s records mediocre.

So, place your money on the Twins, folks. It’s a sure thing.

As for me…fuck it. I’m going camping.

2

Jeez, Rysdad - don’t give me hope like that, will ya?

Just so’s you know, I crossed my legs in sympathy during most of your post. :eek:

Go camping, enjoy your summer … worry about the rest later, yes?

chique, who STILL owes Rysdad a beer!

3

Then, just to top it off, I just ran outside to get something out of my truck. After I got back inside I found out that the neighbor’s dog must’ve been using my back yard as a latrine again.

Dog poop on the carpet.

I give up.

Please direct any further correspondence to:

That Cantankerous Hermit-dude
In the Tent Next to the Big Maple Tree
On the Island in the Mississippi

4

chique, who owes Rysdad a 6-pack

5

Rysdad, my sympathies. I hope you do have a good time camping, and that you’ll find a new position soon! Oh, and that you’ll have no more stones.

Re baseball: I’ll predict that the Twins will NOT win the World Series. I don’t even think they’ll come out of the ALCS.

And by the way, they really should have taken (and shelled out the money for) Mark Prior.

6

Rysdad…

Wow, that is definitely going to the top of my list of things not to do for the Memorial Day weekend.

My condolences on the job situation. That’s a tough trade off to see your team doing good but it always ends up as a harbinger of bad news for you personally. As a Brewer fan I kind of like the Twins because Tom Kelly is doing it without a giant payroll, just fundamental baseball.

Hmm… we have an office in St. Cloud that has to hire at some point in the near future. That probably won’t work though with you in the Twinkie Cities(sorry couldn’t help myself).

Grab a pole and head out camping. If you decide to cross the border I can recommend some nice spots for you.

If nothing else it sounds like Randy Moss is going to need a bigger Posse. :smiley:

Let me know if St. Cloud is workable and I’ll do some checking.

7

Sledman,

Thanks for the very kind offer, but St. Cloud is just a wee bit too far away. Actually, I’m not worried about finding a job. I’ve got 23 years of experience in the travel business so I could always fall back on that. I want something more, though. It’ll work out. It always does.

And to DRY… You could be right, of course. But the Twins already have a winning record against both Boston and the Yankees. We’re 1-2 against Cleveland so far with our ace going today, and 15 more to play against them. We have the best intra-division record in baseball. Seattle looks like the biggest challenge, and we’ve shown we can play with them, too.

I like the Twins selection of Mauer over Prior. At best, a pitcher can affect the team only one out of four days. A great catcher can help every day.

Anyway, it should be a fun season.

Now, where’d I put my fishing hat? I’m leaving in about two hours for 4 days of camping.

Rys

PS- Just a bit of advice to anyone who hasn’t ever had a kidney stone…

Hydration, hydration, hydration! Drink water. Alot of it. All the time. That’s the only thing that the docs told me that can prevent kidney stones.

Take my word for it…whizzing 10 times a days for the rest of your life is far, far better than passing something solid through your ureter.

Cheers!

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The Twins pen worries me in the playoffs. I also think that Mienkiewicz, in particular, is playing over his head.

Mauer has potential, but a raw high school catcher is poor odds when compared to a polished college pitcher, pitching for a major university (and remember, I’m a UCLA Bruin, so that hurts to admit). I might have taken Mark Teixiera over Mauer. Don’t get me wrong, though Mauer has potential. I just think the other two are better odds.