BC pills should be readily available, but not over the counter. There are many choices in which pills to take and well as risk factors to consider. Doctors should be involved, but unless the adolescent wants them involded, the parents should not. Also BC pills are no replacement for condoms.
We need to talk to our children and make them aware of their choices, the dangers, and alternatives. We should stop acting like maturbation is as bad as having unprotected sex or that talking to kids about masturbation is as bad as molesting them.
Telling your kid, “I’d like you to wait until you are at least 18 to have sex,” is not a bad idea either. My mother asked me to wait and admitted that age 18 was arbitrary. It was much easier complying to that request than taking the fearmongering seriously. I complied for the most part. I waited until I was 18 to have sex with a man. I made out with my gf before 18, but what we did did not risk pregnancy or for the most part disease either. I did pass up opportunities when I was 15 and 16 because my mother had made that request.
Do you have anything to back up that opinion? My claim was that teens will have sex. As in some teens, or many teens. Do you deny this?
Oh well, maybe I shouldn’t get worked up over this. istara. I lost my virginity when I was 16. I was quite drunk at the time and when arriving at the moment I had fantazised about, when masturbating several times a day, the previous four years, I really didn’t care about any consequences. Dumb? You bet. Foolish and irrisponsible? Sure thing.
But I received a fairly good sex education before this. HIV/AIDS was not an issue then, but STD was. In some ways, Sweden is more liberal than the US. I knew about the dangers of STD and unwanted pregnancy. Did I care? Nope.
Heaven was right before me and I would finally, finally get rid of my virginty and become a real man. A real stud. Maybe I was the last in my class (I thought so). Maybe this would be my only chance in life to get laid, but damned be all consequences. My early teen horrors of dying without getting to feel what it was like, melted away. She was ready, eager and willing. She was all of 15. And she assured me she was on the pill. Not that I asked. She just said: “Come on. It’s OK. I’ve been in the pill for two years.” And all four minutes of it was pure bliss.
So, no. I don’t think it’s enough with education, older guys telling you it can wreck your life, and saying that the boy should take all responsibility and wear a condom.
I do, however, maintain my first opinion, That being that if we acknowledge that some teens will have sex before the age of consent, and take meassures to help them avoid pregnancy/STD, all will benefit. By pretending it won’t happen, until they’re 18, and ignoring what might become a problem, we’re not helping our kids.
Just a question back to the original post…If 50% have abortions, and 15% miscarry, then 35% give birth. If 98% of those keep their children, that would mean that only 0.7% of total teen pregnancies end in adoption. Is this really true? It seems like a really low number to me.
It may be different in different areas of the world, but I know when I began having sex at the age of 14, all the information I needed was there for me, and had been there several years beforehand. I knew how to put a condom on, I knew how the BC pill worked, I knew how other methods worked (e.g, IUDs, diaphragms, spermicides, etc).
The only information I was lacking was about the emotional aspects of having a sexual relationship with someone.
Ok, let’s try the statement “Blacks will commit crime.” All that is needed for my statement to be true is that two blacks commit some crime. However, I’m sure people wouldn’t look at it that way.
Just to let you know where I’m coming from, mind you.
Regardless, Gaspode already ammended this to “some teens” in a later post, so I’m happy.
Gaijin- you’re right. Black Will commit crimes. So will whites, asians and latinos. It’s pretty much guaranteed, and one of the reasons we have things like cops and jails.
Teens will have sex. If you think the majority of teens are celibate by choice, or are saving themselves, you are sorely deluded.
Teach them that sex is ok, but to be careful because it has consequences. Teach them about Birthcontrol of all stripes, and all the other good things that were mentioned here.
Sex ed in the US is a pathetic shade of what it should be.
First, I agree with Sua - this isn’t a big problem societally, and it is getting smaller. I credit more emphasis on abstinence, coupled with better information on birth control.
Secondly, Goo has a point. In addition to teaching abstinence and birth control, and in addition to teaching kids what parenting is like via the sack of flour, and setting expectations for our kids (worked with me, too) we need to teach kids that sex has emotional consequences that they need to be prepared for. That there is seldom casual sex that is completely casual between two people and that sex will change most relationships - not necessarily for the better. That sex does not prove you love someone or tie someone to you - and the pressures of a child may do far more to drive two people apart than to bring them together. Girls in particular get a romantic ideal of sex thrown at them, and guys get the idea The Gaspode apparently had, its the best thing in the whole world and you are the only one not doing it.
Third, teenagers have to be able to visualize a better future for themselves and see a path to get there. Its kids that don’t have realistic goals and plans that are most likely to get into trouble (via pregnancy, drugs, crime, whatever).
(Leap, I don’t know if anyone has good numbers on how many women who have unintended pregnancies end up making adoption plans - I’ve heard more around 10%. It certainly isn’t common, but does reflect the belief most people involved in adoption have that the best place for most children is in the family of origin if that is possible. Odd as it sounds, I wish my son’s birthmother would have had the resources available to raise him)
Elwood, I couldn’t agree MORE with you! While abstinence is always an option, and not a bad one, it isn’t the only option teens or adults are going to consider. Teens have sex, regardless of what their parents, churches or peers tell them to do. And I agree strongly that good solid information about birth control is essential. But I also believe we are missing something here, something critical and I sure as hell don’t know what that something is.
Parents should start spanking the hell out of their kids again. “Timeouts” and counting to 3 is a joke. Kids are learning at a young age that there are few to no consequences for their actions, even though that’s not the case.
I’m not talking about child abuse, but I agree wholeheartedly that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child.
Your question has never been addressed. I have never been tested for anything (well, a pap smear, but that isn’t what you mean) before getting a birth control perscription. Generally, the doctor looks you up and down, determines you are in good health, asks what has worked for you before, and writes out a perscription.
I don’t think that over the counter birth control pills are a good idea - mainly because there are contra-indications for them.
**Hookers for the boys, dildo’s for the girls ** Just kidding…sorta.
I’ve never understood (even when I was in high school and received wholly and holy (it was a catholic school) inadequate sex education why everyone got their underwear in a bunch over this issue.
Either way teens are going to experiment, why not give them all the facts.
When I was in high school we were able to get condoms from any teacher or staff member we felt comfortable asking. The were free and they also gave us pamphlets explaining extra precautions we can take to remain safe. Instead of being taught that sex is this horrible dirty thing we were taught how to protect ourselves and be responsible. My school had the lowest pregnancy and std rates in the southeast, so I guess it worked.
Oh, yes, spankings are good. When I’m naughty I love the “consequences”. My husband is really good at it too…he knows just how hard to slap my bare…
Oh wait, that’s not what you’re talking about.
How will spanking a child teach them about birth control? I can almost see what you are trying to say, but some elaboration would be nice.
First of all, I’m a fifteen-year-old girl. I’m not sexually active. And when I decide to be, I will of course use protection. That being said…
I didn’t learn about contraceptives in Family Life class. The only reason I know what I do is thanks to a very optional class that I was enrolled in in fifth grade and lectures given to me by my mother.
What we learn in family life class (their name for sex ed) is about the parts of the body and the stages of pregnancy and stuff like that. We’re told that the best contraceptive is abstinance and the teachers aren’t even allowed to teach anything other than that.
There are a lot of sexually active students that really don’t know much about contraceptives. I know that when I become sexually active, the guy better know what he’s doing with them because I won’t. I’ve never even seen them. If we want to control teen pregnancy, proper education would definately not hurt at all.
We should put RU-486 (the abortion drug) in all school lunches. Of course, for this to work, eating the school lunch must be made mandatory, no brown-bagging allowed.
I get what Clint is talking about. The way kids are raised these days they learn there are consequences for doing things that they are told are wrong, but those consequences are just the disapproval of their parents, and maybe a temporary loss of a few privileges. With spankings (done only at appropriate ages, of course), the child is conditioned to fear disobeying on a more instinctual level, and though that doesn’t mean that they won’t disobey their parents wishes when it comes to having sex, I think the thought of going against their parents will cause a deeper sense of doing something wrong. There is nothing logical about the sick feeling I got when I thought about doing something I knew was really wrong, I didn’t really think about what punishment I would get if I did it, I had just been conditioned at an early age by spankings.
I don’t think it’s a real cure for teenage pregnancy, though. I think a better solution would be to educate children better about sex, and to change our attitudes about young parents, both male and female. It’s gotten to the point where there is no shame involved in being a teen mother - most people might think it’s a sad thing that a young girl got pregnant, but they would never think about telling her she really screwed up. Same thing with boys - I know it sounds horrible, but if more people looked down their noses at people who became parents too early people might think twice about doing things that lead to becoming a parent. We are too supportive as a society - we should let family members and health care workers be supportive, but allow the public to show disapproval.
Centuries ago, when someone did something morally wrong the town would get an ass (the donkey kind) and have the perpetrators sit backwards on it holding up the tail. They were then paraded through town so that people could throw rotten vegetables and such at them. Perhaps this would be discouraging…however, we would have to come up with something more humane. The donkey’s don’t deserve to have to go through that.