I realize, and espouse, one answer: Places that subsidize contraception (especially, but not necessarily, Long Acting Reversible Contraceptives) and accurately educate the young in their use see very few unplanned pregnancies (and very few abortions) and, in so doing, save a lot of money. It pays for itself, because unplanned pregnancies cost society a lot. See The Netherlands, where their sex-ed is called “Long Live Love,” and they encourage going “Double Dutch,” i.e. combining two methods of contraception.
But with that said, even in a less-enlightened setting, shouldn’t unplanned pregnancies be less common, considering how dramatically life-altering they are? We have multiple sexual options, only one of which can lead to pregnancy (though I’ve read that this theoretically can happen indirectly if seepage follows unprotected anal sex, but let’s ignore that.) Condoms are perhaps not available as fully as they could be, but a great many people can get them for free, and, according to Planned Parenthood, are nearly foolproof when combined with withdrawal.
I’ve chalked it up to the reality that, unlike me, most people drink alcohol, and apparently much conception happens under the influence. I’m also aware of, and baffled by, the phenomenon of “pregnancy ambivalence.” Do those two factors explain it? Something seems to be missing.
Have you never used a condom? Have you never had sex? Have you never experienced the emotions and urgency that come (excuse the word) with ejaculation.
Condoms are untrustworthy unless used by well experienced couples- they can slip off without awareness if one is excited. Withdrawal is difficult if one is not in a settled relationship where pregnancy avoidance is desired. Condoms are used as an entry ticket to sex, but are often not used through the whole process due to desire and carelessness.
The pill needs to be taken regularly - exceptionally so for some particularly fecund women. The cap takes skill to use properly and is often overtaken by desire.
In my experience*, contributing factors include but are not limited to youth, ignorance, poverty, and a lack of sex education.
*said experience includes time spent as a child support attorney for the welfare department, and about a decade with a legal-aid type non-profit dealing with family law. I know way more 30 year old grandmothers, and 45 year old great grandmothers, than should happen in a reasonably modern society.
New factors at work (besides the age-old ones already mentioned):
[ul]
[li]Closing of Planned Parenthood & other women’s clinics–because some of them offered pregnancy termination. Not all of them. And abortions were always outnumbered by visits for contraception & well-woman exams. But angry state legislatures wanted “morality”–so there are fewer ways to avoid unwanted pregnancy. Especially in a state like Texas, where distances can be great…[/li]
[li]Abstinence only sex education.[/li][/ul]
Unfortunately most reliable and reversible birth control methods are under control of women - I say unfortunately because it would be nice if men could take a pill. When we had the kids we wanted, I did my bit (snip, snip.)
Though not perfect, birth control methods are pretty good and would reduce the number of unplanned pregnancies. Alas, I suspect many parents think that encouraging a girl to go on the pill etc. encourages sex, which is somehow worse than an unplanned pregnancy.
Many Americans are irrational about this subject. All people are irrational if they get horny enough - it was been experimentally demonstrated, as if we didn’t know.
How the hell do “ignorance” and “lack of sex education” factor into a 45 year old grandma? Wouldn’t you think seeing would be learning? Or they would know what happens after the first time round?
Kinda reminds me of the family I know where the 15 year old daugther and the 16 year old son, were both parents in the same year…AND my school did have pretty robust sex ed (all the way to condom demonstrations and discussion of why withdrawal and rhythym was unreliable)
Poverty is a vicious circle. 15 year old makes a baby, drops out of school with limited job opportunities, struggles to raise child as a single parent. When she turns 30, her 15 year old daughter makes a baby, drops out of school with limited job opportunities, struggles to raise child as a single parent, etc.
The kids understand that sex causes baby, but they don’t get instruction on birth control in the schools, or they think it won’t happen just this once, or they simply fail to consider potential consequences when it’s cold and lonely in the deep dark night and they can see Paradise by the dashboard light.
I think it’s the opposite. A kid with a mom fifteen years older than themselves doesn’t look at the situation and see “Wow. My mom’s whole life sucks because she had me. The years of raising me were full of struggle, misery, poverty and strife that could have all been avoided if she had waited ten years to have a child. She probably would have been happier and healthier if it weren’t for me. The fact that my mom is currently making $10/hour and is looking at an old age of poverty and need is pretty much directly attributable to the fact that I was born”. What they see is “My mom had a baby at 15 and it worked out. Yes, it was really hard, and that’s why she wants me to wait, but the world didn’t end when I was born. She’s amazing and she made it work. If I had to, I could make it work too.”.
A kid who doesn’t know anyone who was a teenage parent can be instilled with a nameless horror at the thought and to avoid any unprotected sex as if a single instance would basically be a death warrant. A child of a child is more likely to see it in the same light as driving after a few drinks: a really stupid risk, but not jumping off a cliff.
This is the part I don’t understand. Wouldn’t the mother (the first one) in your story put substantial effort into ensuring her daughter didn’t make the same mistake? The occasional unplanned kid I understand, but the repeating cycle perplexes me. We put our kids on birth control at a scandalously young age to in order to avoid this. It seems parents who’d lived the problems first hand would be even more determined to prevent it with their kids.
I teach remedial, adult-education classes for low-income parents (who can’t afford any add’l education). In the majority of cases, their *grandkids *are the same age as my kids. I just don’t understand the generation-after-generation cycle of this.
On edit: I see Manda Joe has covered part of my question.
It doesn’t even have to be a kid who doesn’t know any teenage parents- there are a few late-teenage parents in my family and my daughter had the same horror. She could see from a young age exactly how much her life was different from her cousins’ and the differences got larger as they got older - I paid her inexpensive,public college tuition while her cousins were giving their mothers money to keep the lights on.
Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of rape. Yes, rape caused pregnancies are rare, but they do happen.
I’ve read that there’s research being done which makes men infertile for five years. However, it involves a shot into each testicle. No cite, and I don’t think it’s really even in clinical trials…but something like this would be a pretty good solution for high school and college age boys, I think. Of course, it wouldn’t prevent disease, so condoms would still be necessary, but since guys are generally very horny in that age range, but can’t really support a child just yet, it might be worth it to encourage this method.
And yes, I think that medical insurance should pay for these shots.
I believe in teaching abstinence, simply because I believe in teaching to greater self control. That doesn’t mean I believe in teaching “Abstinence Only” just that the point of sex ed should be to encourage children to have a complete risk:reward going in their head and advocate to abstain. Not “until marriage” just more “until that risk:reward” comes down.
Sadly, though, if you think back to when you were a teenager you know why we have it happen. Teenagers are remarkably adept at ignoring bad potential consequences and remarkably good at rebelling against authority. I’m sure the sentiment “Those dumb adults don’t know what they are talking about. That’ll never happen to me!” is familiar to anyone who remembers their teenage years.
A savagely brutalized quote from the Bard has it right: “The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves.”
Sex is natural, and sometimes unplanned and unexpected - this IMHO is good and suppose to be that way as it allows our hearts to override our heads, so rules break down.
Other sexual acts, such as oral/anal/mutual masturbation do seem to require more input from the head, um make that the thinking and communications process, which makes it not as natural. P in V Sex is the universally know and accepted way to do it, so if you are getting naked with someone without speaking and without a sexual history it’s going to be P in V most likely by default
Though in that, P in V by default, I believe it is also pretty common now to use a condom at this stage of a relationship, though not always available (again sometimes sex is unplanned unexpected) and not 100%.
After a sexual relationship develops P in V sex may be the preferred method, condoms again may not be available, or at this stage the couple will usually know each other long enough to think they could do this safely.
Wanted to change this to this but timed out on the edit.
After a sexual relationship develops P in V sex may be the preferred method, condoms again may not be available, or at this stage the couple will usually know each other long enough to ***feel ***they could do this safely. And it is a feeling that gives comfort and openness. Not saying it’s logical, though some info about her cycle may be mutually known.
