This was an excellent post. The root of the problem is not lack of access to birth control, or high costs, or lack of education. The USA has been providing free birth control to all, and comprehensive sex ed to at least almost all, for a long time. The root of the problem is bad decision-making.
I see quite a few pregnant teens. I usually ask just out of personal/professional interest and in the course of making conversation if I think they are chatty and won’t be offended by the question. I usually work with them for days to weeks, sometimes months, and like to get to know them as well as possible. I don’t make judgements about the issue. People make the decisions they make for the reasons they make them, whether they are cognizant of the reasoning or not. I feel like they are willing to chat with me about it because I’m not telling them ‘This was a bad decision.’ They’ve likely hear that already.
They tell me various reasons for their pregnancies, besides accident and just the want of a baby.
Recently one with a 5 year old already told me she had her IUD removed because she was not in a relationship and felt she didn’t need it. Of course, then she met a new guy and got pregnant right away.
Another told me “I wanted to get my kids out of the way early.” I found it interesting that she had no question that she would have children, it was just a matter of “now” versus “later on” and that she didn’t put very much effort into the father portion. She was just focused on the kid part.
Several have told me that planning to have sex (and, therefore being proactive about birth control) was trampy. “Good girls” don’t plan for sex, they just get swept away with passion.
You do know you could say “penis in vagina”, right? Or just “coital”. And also, citation needed.
I don’t have a cite at hand, but I have heard a number of times that a large percentage of teen pregnancies are from older fathers - that is, not all teen girls are impregnated by someone of their age group, but one significantly older (20s to 30s). That would bring in a fair degree of coercion (overriding ignorance or trust) and lack of care about responsibility for either the mother or child as a cause of pregnancy.
One other apparently common phenomenon is pregnancy ambivalence whereby a couple (or a member of a couple) isn’t actively trying to get pregnant, but are vaguely okay with the idea of parenthood and so don’t use anything beyond relatively low-reliability methods like rhythm and withdrawal. Pregnancies that result from that situation go into the “unplanned” column, but it’s not really the same thing as a typical contraception failure situation.
I’ve noticed this about people I know. They will have done a sensible analysis of whether they can afford (another) baby and concluded that they can’t. Less than a year later, oops, it happened anyway and they are able to muddle along. Oddly it seems to me that people who are judgemental of such things are more tolerant of the couple who have an “accident” than those who “know” it’s a bad idea and deliberate try for a baby. People are odd.
It appears the OP (who has not returned) is unaware of these facts…
Why are there so many unplanned pregnancies?
The answer that few dare acknowledge: because there is virtually no encouragement to choose abortion. Carrying an unplanned pregnancy to term, no matter how insanely stupid is that course of action in many circumstances, is almost universally applauded, but abortion is spoken about in whispers, handled in secret, and treated like a shameful act. I make it a point to treat my friends after an abortion at least as well in terms of looking after their well-being and telling them they made the right decision, as I would someone who just came out of a delivery room. This frequently means I am everybodys’ first choice for friend-to-drive-them-home-from-clinic, but who cares. A day with me making sure they get hot soup, fresh homemade (okay bread machine) bread, and taking it easy is better for them than having some sadist trying to make them feel guilty.
And, when sex is in the offing, people can be even stupider.
Having watched a ton of episodes, this is overwhelmingly what drives MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. Except that often it doesn’t even turn out to be really that much fun.
I think this is extremely common. I’ve done it and so have many of my friends. I know some people really just aren’t knowledgeable about reliable ways to prevent pregnancy, but I have a hard time really believing it, because that’s never been my experience, and it’s not exactly rocket surgery. I got pregnant when I was 17. It’s not that I was trying to, but it could have easily been avoided. I can’t explain it.
That would explain unplanned babies, not unplanned pregnancies.
Even “poor” choices have a rationale behind them.
Whether conscious of it or not, human beings seek out status symbols–something that differentiates them from the “losers” in their midst who, by definition, lack status.
For most people, we get esteem from how much money have. With our money, we buy symbols that communicate how successful we are. From an early age we collect “namebrands”, whether in the form of handbags or universities, that serve this purpose.
What do you do when you don’t have money? Being broke doesn’t mean you don’t care about status. It just means you can’t go out and buy a house. You “collect” other symbols of your worthiness.
For women, this is children. Not only will children give their mother unconditional love, but they will raise her social profile and give her an identity. For a woman with other symbols (wedding ring, college-educated, good job, nice car, etc.), she has other “worthy” identities to fall back on (wife, scientist./nurse/lawyer/accountant, yuppie). But for a girl or woman with very few symbols of success, motherhood is it. “I’m my kids’ mother!” carries a lot more currency than “I am a fry jockey at McDonald’s!” A teenager who doesn’t have realistic college or middle-class prospects CAN aspire to motherhood and be supported socially and financially in a way that a childless counterpart will not.
For men who are low on the totem pole, success is embodied by masculinity…which is measured through sexual prowess. Having a girlfriend communicates, “I may not have a job or a car or a house, but I am still a MAN!” Having a kid, whether you can afford it or not, is the cherry on top.
If social inequality continues on its current trajectory, we shouldn’t expect steep declines in teenage pregnancy rates. Poverty has never been a deterrent to reproduction. And we are more materialistic and status-hungry than ever. Every time a TV commercial airs that links having a shiny new pick-up truck to being a “real man”, the unemployed guy who can’t even buy a bus pass gets the urge to “show them” by having loud, angry sex with his girl…and her sister…and then his girl’s sister’s best friend. And every time motherhood is put on the same footing as finding the cure for cancer, the girl who can’t possibly imagine going to college decides it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to have a kid. Maybe then people will stop treating her as if she’s a nobody.
We can preach at people about the “right” choices, but symbols will aways have a stronger grip on the psyche. IMHO.
I’ve had my fair share of sex with condoms, and I can say I’ve NEVER had one slip off, and the times they’ve broken, it’s pretty damn obvious.
In my experience at least, the unplanned pregnancies that I’ve known people to have fall into 3 categories
[ol]
[li]Couples who are sort of pregnancy ambivalent- not really trying, but not really trying not to either. No rhythm or anything, just letting nature take its course.[/li][li]Knuckleheads. People who get all horned up and/or drunk and forget about birth control in the heat of the moment.[/li][li]Contraception failures- broken condoms, missed pills, etc… [/li][/ol]
That pretty much covers all the bases, with probably the 3rd being the most common, and the first being the least.
Nitpick, abortion does not prevent unplanned pregnancy, actually not so much of a nitpick in the OP, it hides unplanned pregnancy. And that is a large issue of abortion, it is usually done in a hidden manner, in that not everyone she know knows she has been pregnant (unless she tells or is late term and obvious). So there is less access to people who care about her, unless she is willing to open up.
So good for you for being there for such women, they need a good friend, but as stated above abortion can not prevent unplanned pregnancies unless the abortion has also damaged her reproductive system to a point where it hinders or prevents conception, which I don’t believe is common. Abortion may actually increase unplanned pregnancies as it allows a women to get pregnant a second time sooner then if she carried the child to term.
People are uncomfortable when it comes to making life changing decisions. I think, for many, it’s easier to let fate play a hand, than step up and own their choices. Because choosing to ignore birth control is also a choice. Rolling the dice? Also a choice. But when it comes to owning that, well, a lot of adults struggle, let’s say. Easier to claim an accident or method failure for a lot. Especially those who don’t want the wisdom of ‘a child now’ questioned.
Because when you’re about to have sex, you’re usually not using the rational part of your brain.
I’ve been wondering whether it was worth pointing out that not all unplanned pregnancies are necessarily unwanted pregnancies.
Almost. The root of the problem is the unwillingness to acknowledge that bad decision making is inevitable. So the solution is not to tell people to make better decisions, but to insulate them from the effects of their almost inevitable bad decisions.
Dan Ariely has a chapter in “Predictably Irrational” about how a guy’s answers to a set of questions on morality changes (not for the better) after watching porn.
The best answer is to have birth control in place which doesn’t need any prep, the second best is a morning after pill, with abortion a solution if these fail.
The opposition to the first two of these is that they will encourage people to be sexually active - as if people needed encouragement.
It’s denial for your kids, but it is probably a desire to punish other people’s kids.
I’ll bet that “I promise to be a virgin” parties never stopped anyone from doing anything.
Right, but how is a naive young lady supposed to know if the boy who wants to bang her really had his shots or he’s just saying he had his shots? I would never trust boys of that age to be honest about having used BC. In my experience, they will say anything they think you want to hear to get into your pants.
I see what you did there.