Lack of birth control (very mild)

The BBQ Pit
1

This isn’t so much a rant at any one person, as it is just a general frustration.

I had to go to the doctor today for an exam, for ‘womanly’ problems. New doctor, so they have to ask the usual stuff.

Fine. I don’t care.

One of the questions is, “what form of birth control do you use?”

I don’t. My husband does not. We have been birth control free since October of 2001.

I tell this to the nurse, and she nods. “So you’re trying to get pregnant.”

“No, I am not.” When I receive a blank look, I elaborate. “We’re not trying to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens. We aren’t opposed to it, but it’s not high on our list of priorities.”

She just gives me an even blanker look, and then nods.

The fuck? This isn’t the first time it’s happened, but why can’t people understand that?

To me, trying to get pregnant is something that requires you to schedule sex like you would time on the treadmill. Or anything else of that extreme.

Goddamnit. I wish I understood people.

I wish they understood that “not using birth control” != “trying to get pregnant because one is so desperate for a baby.”

We’re talking about adopting, in fact. Maybe. International adoption is so fucking expensive, though.

(Yes, I know it’s very mild, but…grrr.)

2

People just don’t understand how very uncommon/unlikely/statistically improbable pregnancy is. They think that you will quickly end up pregnant if you stop using birth control.

I just don’t correct that thinking, because the people who think that way aren’t in a good posistion for having a baby if the unlikely should happen. Let them think it will happen right away if they stop, it’s a good thing they do.

3

Zab, you do realize that the pregnancy rate for fertile couples having sex during the peak reproductive years (16-33) is an 85% pregnancy rate per year, don’t you?

Pregnancy is hardly unlikely or improbable.

QtM, MD

4

BTW, that data is from: R.A. Hatcher, J. Trussell, F. Stewart, et al., Contraceptive Technology, 17th Revised edition, New York, NY: Irvington Publishers Inc.

http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/1997/conceptbl.html

5

The actual chance of getting pregnant PER SESSION is very low though. I know, I didn’t use birth control at all for years after I became sexually active. I was married for nine years, and didn’t use birth control for the entire marriage. I got pregnant twice. We had sex more than once a day sometimes, but on average, once a day. This is what I meant.

Also, the chances of a teenage girl carrying a pregnancy to term are quite low. They often miscarry and don’t even realize it. They just think they are having an extra rough period, because the pregnancy terminates within a month.

6

Now this is just incorrect. Over 50% of all fertilizations go to term, especially in the teenage years! Just where are you getting this information?

QtM, MD

7

Sorry for the hijack, Sapphire. I have no dispute with your OP.

8

From my Ob. Gyn. the first time I was pregnant. Also the second Ob. Gyn. I had during my second pregnancy. I was 22 my second time, and the pregnancy was trying to spontaneously abort. They told me that this kind of thing happens, prescribed Benadryl to try to stop the premature labor, and told me to stay off me feet.

9

While spontaneous abortion is not at all uncommon, to say that “the chances of a teenage girl carrying a pregnancy to term is quite low” is just not correct. The data does not bear that out, despite what your OB said. 63% of teen pregnancies go to term, 21% end in therapeutic abortion, and 16% in spontaneous abortion or miscarriage.

That’s the latest data from the CDC
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/releases/01news/trendpreg.htm

10

The only reason I had a second Ob. Gyn. was because we had moved to a different county, I’ll add.

11

No worries there, Doc, 'bout the hijack.

I’m feeling better now that I ranted to Mr Wolf and Maltrasea too.

And besides, while I know it’s entirely unintentional, the hijack is entertaining me enormously.

12

Having a kid is a pretty big deal. It requires a lot of decisions (can you afford a kid? are you in the right kind of relationship to have a family?) and so most people are either ready to get pregnant, or not. Very few people don’t feel strongly one way or another. I don’t think the nurse was asking if you were scheduleing your sex for peak fertility or anything like that. She just wanted to know if you saw conception in your future. If you didn’t, she’d probably inform you about your birth control options and if you were actively trying she might ask if there were any problems and warn you if there were medicines you shouldn’t be taking while pregnant and stuff. I’d argue that it’d be pretty unethical not to ask a question with such huge health implications.

13

16 percent is still a significant amount. I think that the reason there are so many more teen-age pregnancies in the first place, is that more teens are having sex earlier on, and more often too.
Ask a fertility specialist, or people who have been trying to get pregnant just how “easy” it is to get pregnant. There was a couple in our church who had been trying to have a child for a decade. They finally had one when she was about 40.

14

Nevertheless, if a fertile couple are regularly having completely unprotected sex, it’s not unreasonable to assume that they are planning on having a baby in the future. Your examples do nothing to take away from the validity of this position.

15

Let me re-phrase. I don’t tell teenagers/young people just starting out in the world that it’s not as easy as they think to get pregnant, because I realize they possibly will quit using birth control methods, and that they still stand a chance of pregnancy.

16

No, no, no.

You misunderstand.

It’s not the fact that she asked me that question. I’m glad she did, I really don’t care that people know the Birth Control Status.

It’s not even that she asked, “So you’re trying to get pregnant?”

It was the LOOK SHE GAVE ME when I said “No, we are not trying.”

It was a look of, “What the hell do you mean you’re not trying? If you weren’t trying, you’d be using birth control of some sort. Anyone who doesn’t use it is clearly TRYING to get pregnant.”

Which is NOT the case. I am not TRYING. A pregnancy either happens, or it doesn’t. Either way, we’re prepared. But a pregnancy has NEVER been on my list of Things In Life I Must Accomplish Before I Die.

Y’know, the list that everyone makes in high school?

  1. Graduate as valedectorian
  2. Get into an Ivy League school
  3. Graduate top of class
  4. Get married
  5. Have kids
  6. Have a steady career
  7. Deal with the inlaws.
  8. Die.

Nah…was never my list.

17

You’re dealing with a subset of the population with preexisting problems in that area. The natural assumption regarding them would be that they experience difficulty with conception.

If you’re unable to have a child after years of trying, you should probably see a medical specialist since the obvious assumption would be that there is a problem in one or both partners.

That being said, the vast majority of the people of the world don’t have any problem having children.

As for the 16% of misscarrages in teens, this number declines as the woman enters prime reproductive years then rises again in her late 30’s early 40’s.

The chance of pregnancy ‘per session’ depends a LOT on the stage of the woman’s cycle. Shortly after her period there is no viable egg to be fertalized, nor is the uterus in a condition where a fertalized egg can be attached. Whereas shortly after or just before fertalization conception not only CAN take place, will most likely take place.

So you simply can’t say with a blanket statement that there is a low probability of getting preggers after each unprotected sex act. This also doesn’t take into account women with irregular cycles.

In your specific case, your partner might simply not be particularly fertile.

Because keep in mind that there is a percentage of the population that is unable to participate in conception… Say a flat 5% rate in both the male and female popluation. If each 5% doesn’t marry someone in the corresponding 5% then you’ve got a total of 10% of the couples (5% men then 5% female) being unable to concieve.
I do remember reading about VERY young girls, shortly after they begin ovulating have a short period where they are quite infertile.

Or was that Hyenas… :confused: Can’t remember anymore which was which… never should have studied human phsy and animal behavioral reproduction at the same time.

18

Well, no wonder you aren’t pregnant, if you are having sex on the treadmill.

Gave it up, myself. That 25 minute time limit was killing my wife.

And I don’t even want to talk about the whole low-impact aerobics fiasco.

Regards,
Shodan

19

As a health care worker, she probably wasn’t assuming this. I expect that she was trying to figure out if you were being careless, or simply not planning it out exactly. Certain medications and other substances are highly contraindicated during pregnancy (even early on, or sometimes especially so), and so if you had a chance of becoming pregnant, a physician sometimes really has to watch what they prescribe.

Working in the medical field myself, I see the occasional warning about some medication being teratogenic (causing malformations in an embryo/fetus), and physicians have to keep that in mind.

20

I’ll grant you that, Ferret, and I even find it a reasonable explanation for a new irritating source.

But what about the 78.924 billion other people who make the exact same assumption? And then give me that exact same look when I give them the exact same answer?

It’s sooooo very frustrating. I’m not a freak of society (well, not overly so), and I just despise getting that look.

As for you, Shodan, just keep it up. I’ve got my rolled up newspaper ready to whack you. :smiley: