Why y'all gotta make this so difficult?

The BBQ Pit
1

My best friend just went to Europe. My best friend is also getting sexually jiggy wit’ it with her boyfriend. The boyfriend is extremely reluctant about wearing condoms. He claims that he’s sterile. Now, IMHO, I feel that’s a pretty good reason for her NOT to have sex with him*. But whatever, it’s her choice, not mine, and that’s really not the point of this rant.

So she tells me this, and after I tell her what I think about his “sterility,” I suggest that she go on birth control. After all, if she’s going to sleep with this guy, she really ought to at least have that extremely rudimentary form of protection. Even though it won’t protect against STDs, it will protect against pregnancy, which is definately not something she wants (she’s brilliant, has a full scholarship with stipend, does NOT need to mess her life up that way right now). She says she’s thought of that, and she wants to go on the Pill. . .but she can’t seem to find a way to get it.

No problem, say I, the master of solving things. While you’re in Europe, I’ll find a way for you to get it. You’ll be able to have a boinkfest when you get back (provided you follow my instructions, of course, hon). All I expect is a nice trinket, preferably from London.

Of course, then she and her boyfriend broke up. But since I have to prove myself, prove that I can do what she could not (we’re a skosh competitive), I decide to look anyway. Plus I’m bored and don’t have my car at the moment.

So I go online and to the phone book, start looking up things that’ll help out and such. While doing this, I discover something startling:

It is well nigh impossible to get birth control here.

I mean, Christ, in Valparaiso, you could walk into Planned Parenthood, get an exam, and bada-BING get an injection or pills. You could get an exam at the school clinic. They’d even give you stuff to start out with if you HADN’T had an exam. People did it all the time.

Here, the nearest Planned Parenthood is like an hour away. There’s no comparable thing in town. The GP I go to won’t prescribe it at all. The main OB/GYNs in town (there are basically two of them) charge $150+ for an exam, and they’re bitchy about taking anyone who doesn’t have insurance (even if you show them the money). Not to mention that the two work in the SAME building, and that everyone’s MOTHER goes to them (including both of ours, incidentally). Call me a little leery, but having the person who DELIVERED you bilk your ass for birth control leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

She could get an exam when she goes to school for about thirty dollars, she could get the pills dirt-ass cheap, but here they are damn near impossible to find. The only place I did manage to find 'em was at www.getthepill.com, and that would only work for me, since I have a Visa debit card**. She has a credit card which is paid for by her parents, and that’s it.

Shit like this makes me kinda hate men. I mean, okay, I know this is because it’s a hormonal treatment, not a barrier, and there are side effects, blah blah blah. But…it’s so EASY to find protection for men. Basically, they’re set with a condom. That’s the only thing that’s really THEIR responsibility (unless they’re sleeping with me, in which case, it becomes MY goddamn responsibility, and God help the man who tries to make it otherwise). We have to get birth control pills. Pain in the goddamn ass. Makes me feel that if MEN got pregnant, there’d be birth control on every Osco shelf in northern Illinois. Of course, I’m being irrational.

Guys, it’s a town of almost 100,000 people, and contrary to what some might think, Chicago is NOT next door. BUILD A DAMN PLANNED PARENTHOOD OR SOMETHING HERE.

I’m no longer angry at my high school friends who didn’t use birth control. It’s so difficult to find, and even harder to get when you’re 16 or 17. Adults, accept the fact that kids have sex and reduce the risk. Please.

*[sub]I have nothing against sterile men. If he really is sterile, that’s fine, and should have no bearing on his sex life. But if he’s using it to get into my best friend’s pants unprotected, he’s being an asshole, and he should use a condom anyway. I’ve heard better lines.[/sub]

**[sub]Of course, neither of us need it now. But that’s really not the point; were it not for the fickleness of our respective ex-males, we would both be in this position.[/sub]

2

Wowzers, never looked at it that way.

And yes, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a God-given right! :rolleyes:

Makes me glad I’m gay. :smiley:

Esprix

3

Frustrating isn’t it? Here are a couple of ideas that might help you win! (I am competative too)

Some GPs will prescribe birth control. You might have to call around to find one.

There seems to be two women’s health centers in your town. (Womens Wellness Associates and Associates for Womens Health). They sound the same but the are on two different streets. Assuming that I looked in the right town of course.

Women’s health clinics are usually cheaper and use to dealing with women with out insurance. It is hard to believe that a town your size wouldn’t have a women’s health center even if I have found the wrong one town.

Once she gets the prescription she can get it filled at any drug store. Depending on what they give her it will probably be about $25 a month with out insurance.

Finally, try calling the Health Department. The Health Department in your town says it offers women’s wellness/family planning services. They might be able to tell you were to go even if they can’t provide the services themselves.

4

[hijack]I believe it was Carly Simon, but one female activist once said (and I’m paraphrasing as this was very long ago) “If men got breast cancer, you can be sure there would be a cure!”

I replied (not that she heard me), “Like the one we have for prostrate cancer?”[/hijack]

5

Heh heh…I like a poster named In Conceivable giving birth control advice. A good chuckle for the day.

6

How old is he? - there are only three ways I can think of that he would know that - if he’s tried and failed to be a father and submitted to tests, or if he’s received chemotherapy or similar at some point (and again submitted to a test; it doesn’t always cause sterility), or if he’s had the snip.

He’s lying, that’s what I think.

7

That and the fact that men DO get breast cancer. (Although much less frequently.) Sheesh, what a dimbulb!

8

The pill is not the only choice of birth control out there. I’ve responsibly used a combination of condoms/spermicidal jelly all of my sexual life (I’m 37 now), and have never had a pregnancy scare.

Plus, you and your friend should insist on condoms anyway. Diseases, you know.

9

Yeah, one of my friends got that one pulled on her a few years ago. She told one of our mutual friends this guy had had part of his bowel removed and was thus sterile. How she figured his intestines figured into his fertility, I never really understood. Maybe their son can explain it to us.

10

I never believed that the guy was sterile.

And I know that there are other methods…but I’m of the “the more, the merrier” camp of protection. Condoms, spermicide, hormonal. Aside from which, hormonal birth control is really the one thing that the woman can absolutely positively control. Everything else takes place “in the heat of the moment,” as it were. Taking birth control means that, even if they do have an unplanned, spontaneous, unsafe passionate moment, she won’t get pregnant. It’s some comfort, at least, though I agree that there’s more to it than that.

11

Only if a woman takes the pill responsibly, every day, never forgetting. There’s less than a 1% chance a woman will get pregnant on the pill, but only if she takes the damn thing every day without fail.
Sometimes, people forget about that…

12

So, can a GP refuse to prescribe the pill?

That’s astonishing. What sort of reason do they have not to?

13

Oh, and I think the odds are a lot better than 1%, pepperlandgirl. Your points about regularity are valid, but it’s probably more like .1%.

14

Less than a 0.5%, actually. And the difference matters, since the numbers cover only a per year probability for otherwise unprotected intercourse. You really need medical supervision, too, because a lot of that 0.5% includes women who experience atypical responses to the pill.

Suspenders and a belt. Or, just keep your pants up. :slight_smile:

Tris

“As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.” ~ Josh Billings ~

15

That’s right. Offend the Fashion Police. What next, green socks with brown pants?

16

My best friend took The Pill consistently at 6 o’clock every day for four years. She went to the doctor one day, saying she just didn’t feel well. No wonder, he says, you’re four months pregnant. :eek:

The doc told her that the pill has an average 2% failure rate, and suprise! She falls in that two percent. He did mention that the 2% includes women who take it incorrectly, hormonal imbalances, etc. (Not disputing Triskadecamus’s info. Just repeating what the doc said.)

Lucky for her, she was in a solid relationship (married for 2 years at that point) with the ways and means to take care of a child, and now they have a beautiful 2 year old boy.

AotL, it’s good that you are encouraging your friend to take care of herself. And it doesn’t suprise me that it’s so hard to get this type of care. Hell, there are some doctors here that won’t see any patients under the age of 21. As if people under 21 don’t get pregnant or need reproductive care!

Thank goodness my tax dollars are hard at work funding clinics that are over-worked, under-paid, under-staffed, and filled with ‘educational literature’ that was printed in the early 70’s. I’ve been there. The women that work there taking care of kids having babies, telling you everything you need to know before you walk out the door, trying to educate you while making sure you’re ok, they’re the ones who should be driving decent cars and getting all their bills paid on time. Hell, if it was up to me, it would pay the same to work in a clinic and take care of people who can’t afford healthcare than it would to work in private practice.

17

Orgies count as birth control? Why didn’t someone tell me this sooner?

18

Mangetout: There is one other reason I can think of, that he might have a genetic condition which makes him unable to reproduce.

Unlikely. He does sound like a scumbag. But possible.

19

My father thought he was sterile because he had some sort of bladder problem as a kid. Three months after they were married, she discovered she was pregnant with me.

Funny thing is,my mother actually believed him until she realized that I was on the way. Three kids later,it was obvious my father was greatly mistaken.:rolleyes:

20

*Originally posted by * **Skerri **

0.995[sup]4[/sup] = 0.9801495 Or, to put it in English, a half percent per year risk over a four year period is a two percent risk. No, the doc and I are not contradicting each other.

By the way, the far more common ten year risk (age 18 to 28, being the time period most American women wish to practice total birth control) is 0.995[sup]10[/sup] = 0.9511101, or almost a five percent chance of becoming pregnant, using the pill alone.

Ain’t arithmetic wonderful?

Tris

“As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.” ~ Josh Billings ~