In this this thread we have a poor, terrified, slightly clueless young man who describes the withdrawal method and wants to understand the pregnancy risk.
It’s followed by at least a dozen snarky replies, by people I can only call pathetic assholes, making sarcastic comments about how stupid the OP is, many without even addressing the question. I mean, I’m sorry, did someone change the meaning of GQ to “Let’s stroke our egos by making fun of people who missed a certain day in school”, or is it still the place where PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER GODDAMNED QUESTIONS WITH FACTUAL ANSWERS?
Here’s just one preening, snarky gem from one of the geniuses who apparently never got enough action in high school to have a near miss that would cause them to check back with the reference book, just to be safe:
Yes, let’s all pat ourselves on the back about how brilliant we were when we were younger, and never made these kinds of mistakes. Information helps when it is delivered with a small dose of derision. It’s times like this when Dopers show their ugly sides and make me hate them. Fucking dickheads. I hope your cocks fall off.
Boy, I agree with this pitting. What a bunch of pricks. I hope the next time they’re in need of important information, it’s delivered to them in the same snarky assholish manner.
Put me in with this, too. Whatever happened to answering questions politely, and then maybe beinh snarky after the OP has demonstrated he’s not listening?
If I had gotten such answers when I was young they would have only served to annoy me and not really taught me anything.
I don’t wish anyone’s cock to fall off but I want to know where Dopers get their feeling of being so high and mighty and never making any mistakes. God knows I’ve made plenty.
Did you guys read the thread? There were some smart alecs, true, but there were also some good and accurate answers. And at least one poster gave the facts and then pointed out that the person needed to do some further research on the topic, which seems fair. From the OP I expected some of the cattier dopers to have gotten in there but mostly the snark was over the guy’s mis-spelling of semen (seamen). Read it again and see what you think.
Yes, I agree, he should, but he didn’t. In a lot of places, there’s barely any sex education to speak of, and many people just don’t think of say, looking stuff up themselves. It just doesn’t occur to them. Not everyone has the “look stuff up first” impulse. That doesn’t mean it’s all right to just go blindly into doing whatever you’re doing. It just means that people do. And making fun of someone only ensures that they’re going to be much less willing to ask for advice if they have a problem later.
It did get better on page 2, but yeah, I hear ya. I think that thread is an embarrassment to the Dope, frankly. It has all our snark and wit and none of our wisdom or compassion. I kept thinking about wading in to clean out the muck and offer some actual information on a level the OP could understand*, but I thought it would just get lost in the noise.
*like the fact that withdrawal isn’t actually *that *terrible of a birth control method; it’s failure rates are lower than spermicide and the sponge, but it’s not a good method when you absolutely must not get pregnant. For settled couples for whom pregnancy wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it’s not the actual goal, it’s a pretty good easy to use method with no side effects - more than 70% effective (doing nothing at all is only 15% “effective”, so yeah, withdrawal does make a huge difference). And home pregnancy tests are very, very accurate one or two days after the next expected period
Lots of people know little to nothing about condoms and birth control.
Combine this:
A strict, orthodox upbringing that believes sex is anathema
“Sex Ed” in early teen years that consists NOT even a little of condom training, simply about your period and the changes that happen in your body
A general aversion to hearing about such things because your parents beat it into you that “good girls” don’t hear such things
Thinking you’re in love
And all of that combined is a recipe for disaster. As I well know. I made it all the way to 20 with only the vaguest knowledge. Nowadays there’s the Internet, but if people are going to get responses like this, I’m still not sure how they’re supposed to magically just know.
We don’t talk about it enough in our society. And it’s human nature to want sex, and it’s human nature not to think before we act.
I actually began to post in that thread, with a detailed response. I should have, I suppose, but I felt like WhyNote and figured it wouldn’t be heard anyway.
I’m with all the posters who thought there was just too much snark and not enough answer going on in that thread and I, too, gave up.
Kozmik, although it sounds like the OP in that thread might have been willfully stupid, I’m just wondering how extensive or how, shall we say “philosophy-driven” was the actual knowledge he gained in his sex education classes.
I had sex education too and learned about all the parts (although by that time I had “discovered” them on my own) and even about the “feelings” but I, similar to Anaamika, can’t remember anything practical that I took away from it.
And every HS kid knows what a rubber is. I remember the teacher putting a rubber on a banana in demonstration of the proper way to get your stinger in it.
If he consults the SDMB for sex education issues when he has internet access, and presumably a library card, he has to expect a certain amount of levity. (I hope he can read better than he can write.)
Lighten up people. With a name like “unbrok(e)n pp” what do you expect…
He was told to contact Planned Papahood. They have all the correct answers, and are fully trained professionals in these matters. SDMB’ers are not, (generally speaking).
I’m still waiting to find out what he hit with the baby batter.
I don’t see the need for a pitting here either. Sure, they were a little snarky with him, but come on, the combination of the username, the content of his posts, and the fact that he’s hem-hawing about the good advice he is getting are setting off my troll alarms something awful. I mean, I know we’re all different, but the dude is 17 and has never jacked off once?
I came away from that thread feeling very sorry for the kid, too. The odds that he got that girl pregnant are really, really small, and most people acted like he should be in full panic mode, which he obviously already was. It sounded to me like they both had religious upbringings and you can bet the sex ed in catholic (or pick your sex-before-marriage-is-evil religion) schools is…lacking. Instead of logical reassurance that probably nothing would come of it people acted like he was doomed…DOOMED I tell you! Jeez.
