My best friend has been seeing her boy friend for six months. For the past 3 months they have been having sex. It’s none of my business, so I never really commented on it. Then last night she told me they didn’t use condoms, he just pulls out before he ejaculates.
I told her she was just asking for trouble. She told me that it was perfectly safe. Since I really don’t have a lot of experience or knowledge on the subject, I told her I’d get back to her.
So, is her form of birth control safe? Or should I try to get her to use condoms at least?
I always thought withdrawl was considered the worst form of birth control, mostly because sperm leaks out before ejaculation. It only takes one.
Also, it doesn’t protect against STDs at all.
There’s a special name for people who use the withdrawal method of birth control. They’re called “parents”.
The most effective form of birth control is an aspirin held firmly between the knees.
do your friend a favour - find out the closest “Planned Parenthood” clinic and take her there; if she won’t go herself, you go there and get as many pamphlets that they’ll give you and give them to her.
All the above posters are correct. Your friend may not be aware that sperm exist in pre-ejaculate and that she can get pregnant that way. Please help your friend and get her some real contraception (and/or a clue)–we don’t need people reproducing who don’t even bother to find out info on a birth control method before swearing by it.
According to the FDA, withdrawal, if properly executed, is 96% effective. A male latex condom without spermicide is 97% effective, if used properly. Withdrawal is also listed as being more effective than the diaphram, the vaginal sponge, the cervical cap, and the female condom.
BTW, according to the FDA site, praying is 15% effective.
For more info:
Consumer-Friendly Birth Control Information
Thank you everybody for your replies. Especially you Lance, that was very interesting. But what’s “properly executed” I’m going to try to get her over to PP at the very least.
Even if that “properly executed” stat is true, what it means is that she is leaving the decision about birth control entirely in the [I was going to say “hands” but actually it’s a different organ] of her boyfriend, and he has to make the right decision 100% of the time, just as he climaxes.
I would think she would want a bit more input into this.
While amusing to think about, the FDA site I looked at:
http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/1997/conceptbl.html
makes no mention of prayer. It does say that withdrawl has a 19% chance of failure on average and the 4% chance of failure is lowest expected rate. I’d say that the average rate is more benefical to choosing a method of birth control than the lowest expected rate is. Interestingly, it mentions male latex condoms without spermicides, and spermicides when used on their own, but not latex condoms coated with spermicide which are widely available and used.
At any rate, as has been pointed out withdrawl contains the flaw in that you’re trusting the male to pull out before climax and that’s just not a good idea. Despite his best intentions, a single pre-mature ejaculation could give your friend quite a bit of worries and at the very least the expense of a home pregnancy test which runs you more than a box of condoms anyway. If his intentions aren’t so pure or if he simply decides to ride out the moment due to lust or addled thinking or misguided hope (“well, once isn’t going to hurt”) her chances are that much more stacked against her. Get her some information and then let her make the choice. You can’t choose someone’s method of birth control for them, but you can at least make the effort of showing her that she’s not planning it very effectively.
That was my biggest concern. I don’t think she should leave it completely up to her BF, especially since they are just a couple kids playing around. That may sound horribly condensending, but it’s the truth. I think they are just together out of pure lust, and he’s not that mature to begin with.
If they are both healthy, then there shouldnt be any worry about STD’s. However, have they been tested?
A friend of mine uses withdrawal method, and has a long time. Its always worked for her.
However, she must pick trustworthy guys for this to work. It happened to me once. She doesnt ever want to hear,“Oops, tooo late.”
Withdrawal is a marvelously effective technique. As pointed out it is 90%+ effective and with the exception of my handsome 9 year old son and and lovely 13 year old daughter being conceived worked every time.
Too be fair that could work for almost all types of birth control. Myself and both of my sisters are “condom babies.”
My cousin is expecting her first, and she was on the pill.
And I’ll throw in the case of my 4-year-old. Conceived after a vasectomy (and 2 negative sperm counts.)
Not that I’d change anything now, even if I could.
Jophiel,
This was a joke. The FDA site (linked above) states that “no method” is a 15% effective method of birth control. I made the assumption that prayer was just as effective as the “no-method” method.
If they are both healthy, then there shouldn’t be any worry about STD’s? What’s that mean? Rosy cheeks and no sneezing and you’re good to go?
And your friend must pick trustworthy guys to make the withdrawal method work? Hoo boy, stick around Vanilla. There’s a lot of ignorance to fight in you.
Make sure she invites you to the baby shower! If you were a good friend, you’d tell her how this guy’s gonna bolt on her the instant HIS “fool-proof” makes a fool out of her. And by the way, how many other girls is he also using that line with?
Just be sure to wish him a very verile “Happy Father’s Day”!
No one ever got pregnant from oral sex.
It is unsafe. It is also unsafe not to use a condom properly. You can’t “play around” for awhile and then put the damned thing on later. I ended up with my second child that way. Withdrawl is definately not an effective method.
Needs2know