I think this was an incredibly wise post in a thread with a number of wise posts!
Why are people in this thread so focused on teenage pregnancies being unplanned? Women 20-35 have more than 3 times as many unplanned births as teenagers do. See page 13 of this document by the CDC. This doesn’t give a complete picture without knowing what percentages of expectant women have abortions vs what percentage of expectant teenagers do, but it sure implies that a great deal of couples who are old enough to know better still get knocked up unexpectedly. So what about them? How do you account for 20 and 30 somethings still not avoiding unwanted pregnancy?
There is a lot of real ambivalence. But people who decide to have children under difficult circumstances may choose to say they were ambivalent rather than admitting to a socially unpopular decision.
Re the OP question, I highly recommend these two books:
Doing the Best I Can: Fatherhood in the Inner City
Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood before Marriage
Really? It must have been coincidental, because I sure didn’t mean to do anything!
This is why the young lady insists on a condom anyway, because not only is it a backup to his birth control shots, it helps prevent disease. Similarly, even if the young woman is on the pill, or has an IUD in place, she is wise to insist on condoms if she’s not SURE that he’s clean, and if she’s SURE that she can deal with an unplanned pregnancy if the primary method fails.
If she’s in a committed relationship with the man, then she probably knows whether or not he’s had his shots, and whether or not she still needs a condom.
And yes, it’s been my experience that a horny man, young or old, will say just about anything if he thinks it will get him sexy fun times.
Eh? Where are we providing free birth control to all? From what I hear, most insurance companies refuse to provide it. And abstinence only is either included in sex ed, or the primary sex ed, in 37 states. It’s the primary sex ed in 26 states. That’s not comprehensive sex ed to almost all kids!
The media literally glamorizes premartial sex
Some info on what states require (and don’t require) in the way of sex and HIV information: Sex and HIV Education | Guttmacher Institute .
And yes, that’s a .pdf, for those who have problems with such things.
Well… there’s my brother and his ex-wife. I tried hard to avoid knowing any specifics, but she made a very big deal of telling everyone about how glad she was to be off birth control, while he made a very big deal of telling everyone about how he still didn’t want kids. Hence two “unplanned” kids.
My youngest brother was also unplanned, though not necessarily unwanted. He was just a failure of my mother’s birth control. (Again, really don’t want to know more details about that either.)
If you think about it, even the best birth control forms are only effective 99% or so of the time. Add in a little forgetfulness, throw in some aging condoms, mix in a little alcohol… now it’s only like 90% effective. And that means one kid every 10 years.
Teenagers are favorite targets for moral outrage and societal bullying because they are powerless and tend to lack confidence.
That doesn’t explain all the “pre-mature” babies born to suddenly married parents for thousands of years.
As a friend recently reminded me: a married couple’s 2nd to Nth kids come 9 months after conception. The first? Any time after 4 months of the wedding.
Couples have needed no encourage to engage in premarital sex for thousands of years, while “the media” has been complicit in recording it as a less common situation than it really was.
Next, you’ll be telling me girls weren’t getting abortions/giving up babies and were actually “visiting their aunt upstate” several months at a time during their teen years.
ETA: the bump in WWII births 9 months after troops deployed (whether or not the couples were married) is also no accident and can’t be blamed on 40s media glamorizing premarital sex, which is pretty ridiculous on the face of it.
Plus, the consequences are generally much more dire when a teenager gets pregnant (or gets someone pregnant) than they are when this happens to an older person.
Just for the record, when I become King of the US of A, I’m going to have contraceptives put in everyone’s drinking water. If a couple want to make a baby, they’ll each have to go to a drugstore and pay $50 or $75 to get a shot to have the contraception nullified. I figure if a couple can’t come up with 100-150 bucks to make a baby, they can’t afford to support a child anyway.
Not only that, but the rate of teen pregnancy is actually declining in the US. So to answer the OP, there aren’t that many after all.
Well, we do give it completely free, convenient, and confidential to all public school high schoolers and some middle schoolers here in Seattle. There are teen health centers in all of the high schools except maybe a few tiny alternative ones, and in most if not all cases they’re able to go to a nearby high school’s teen health center if they want to.
We also have a program in WA which you can sign up for at clinics like Planned Parenthood (right at the clinic, you don’t have to go to the DSHS or anything) where you get free birth control if your income is low enough, but the limit isn’t that low:
1 person $2,327
2 people $3,152
3 people $3,977
4 people $4,802
That’s a great idea. Of course you’d have to out all the bishops in jail - and I’m sure there are other advantages to your plan also.
This.
Always be wary of those fecund women and their fecund ways.
“Ordinary” women have their fertile period within three days and a “surest” less than 24 hours within that. Even then, most stats I read say it take at least 4 tries. So most pregnant teenage couples who claim they did it only once are lying.
You have a lot of unplanned pregnancies, then the number of sexual congress that have been going on are at least four times greater than you thought.
No doubt a lot of people lie about the circumstances of their/their partner’s pregnancy, but your second sentence in no way follows the first.
It’s just that people might think an unplanned pregnancy usually entailed a single episode, like a rape for instance.